Thriving Dreamers: Succeeding Your Way

How I Skipped Class While I Was In Class 

Paranoid schizophrenia plagued my mother most of her life. She was a beloved English teacher, mentor to many, and a published poet… and often involuntarily admitted to hospitals. 

In my Mom’s lucid moments, she would regularly give me advice which was both counterintuitive and spot on in the same breath.  

Here’s one of my favorites: 

Eliza, if you feel bored in a really important class, here’s what you need to do: look outside the window and daydream. You just daydream, Eliza! Why waste your time in a classroom that bores you when your imagination could take you out of the classroom to somewhere else? You’ll learn a lot more, and get more done in the long run, if you keep daydreaming.

Get a lot done if I keep daydreaming? 

At the time, I worried that my mother’s advice were unstable ramblings. Today my mother is a missing person. When I was pregnant sixteen years ago with my youngest child she vanished without a trace. I still have a card she wrote me from around that time. It says, “Remember all our talks.” And I do. Oh how I cherish her wise, optimistic, fiercely loving, and almost always out-of-the-box nuggets of advice. 

Her thoughts on daydreaming are on my top ten list of….“Unexpected Things My Mom, Mary Louise Marini, Taught Me.” 

The Traveling Space Cadet

I have ADD.  It’s pretty bad. Growing up, I never liked authority, couldn’t sit still for too long, was stubborn as hell, and preferred stories in books to chemistry or math. I was regularly told by many adults in my life to stop living in “fantasy land,” called a “space cadet” often, and was chided to “stay on task” when my imagination or curiosity brought me decidedly off task… which happened regularly. 

I was a questioner. I was oppositional. I was a dreamer. 

I began applying my Mom’s daydreaming advice in earnest in high school. If I was bored, I was GONE, traveling out of the classroom and into fantasy land. My favorite phrases during these unbidden trips into the recesses of my imagination were: 

“What if...” and “Why not?”.

Monotonous Spanish teacher? Space Cadet was in orbit! Hmmmm. What if... the end of West Side Story was totally different? I spent the rest of class rewriting it in my head. Why not? 

Math teacher who droned on, aka that teacher in Ferris Bueller? Off I traveled to another dimension! Hmmm. What if… math never existed? I’d spend the rest of class imagining all of those math-free parallel universes. Why not? 

“VanCort? VanCort? Are you paying attention?” Yes! Yes I am Mr. Monotonous! (Just not to you.)

What If? Why Not?

My penchant for ceaselessly daydreaming about “what if” and then boldy springing into action with “why not” took me on a roller coaster that was often terrifying, sometimes painful, and rarely predictable or easy. Many would not find the life I’ve lived tolerable. Yet I learned from every failure and triumph, and I love where I landed. I’m a speaker on the lecture circuit. I get paid to teach people about something that I never tire of learning about: communication. It’s fulfilling, rewarding, fascinating and fun. 

Hunters and Farmers

Years ago I read a book called  “ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer’s World” by Thom Hartmann. In the book Hartmann reframes ADD traits within the context of “Hunters,” describing people with ADD as flexible, independent risk-takers who are bored by mundane tasks. “Farmers” are those patient, consistently organized, and careful team players who do not have ADD. If you’re interested in knowing what specific characteristics Hartmann associates with Hunters and Farmers, check out this graph on Hartmann’s website. 

While I read the book to learn more about ADD, I eventually took the analogy further. I believe there is a spectrum of personalities, Hunters being at one extreme  and Farmers at the other. You don’t have to have been diagnosed with ADHD to be someone with predominantly Hunter traits. You simply need to be that person who never quite fit in, got in trouble a lot, questioned authority, lived in your imagination more often than not and never chose the well worn path. You had to be like me… an oppositional, optimistic dreamer. 

From the time I was a kid, Farmers made me feel my Hunter traits were irresponsible, deviant, and wrong. Sometimes they did this purposefully, mostly they did it just by making life seem so easy with their predictable, safe choices. I’m embarrassed to admit initially I vilified Farmers. Indeed, here’s how I saw them: Farmers are banal, rigid, automatons who kill creativity and thrive off making everyone else miserable with their love of bureaucracy, rules, and red tape. They are that nosy scolding neighbor or unceasingly judgmental family member. Farmers tell you to stop running in the halls. Later, they work for the IRS and audit you. Farmers are that infuriating person who says, “I can’t. Those are the rules. I have to follow policy.”

Farmers. Who needs them? Not me. Well, maybe not.

Farmers and Mad Max

After some serious living and self-reflection I realized something. My years of being devalued (whether real or imagined) by Farmers, and my jealousy of their seemingly easy lives, might have been clouding my judgement just a wee bit. 

Farmers are necessary, contributing to our world in ways Hunters just can’t. They are the glue which holds our social contract together, creating safe communities based on the rule of law. They underpin our country, providing stability, consistency, and certainty. Farmers keep electricity pumping into our homes, organizations humming along, and stoplights functioning. They make sure our communities don’t devolve into utter chaos. 

Farmers live predictable, safer lives, which is usually a good thing. Farmers rarely disrupt those around them with drama. They aren’t repeatedly bloodied and bruised from falling smack on their faces. Farmers are our loyal, reliable, steady-as-she-goes partners. Yes, Hunters often conceive of innovative ideas, but birthing them requires collaborations with smart, can-do, loyal Farmers. Farmers are the caring friends you can always count on, the dedicated team members who keep projects on track, and the loving teachers who go to school day after day, determined to teach our children to read. If, like me, you have dreamed of a world comprised of only Hunters, be careful what you wish for. Think Mad Max. Terrifying.

Hunters and 1984

Most of us intuitively know a world comprised only of orbiting space cadets would be chaotic and frightening. This is why I believe Farmers in positions of authority fear Hunters, often shaming, marginalizing, and punishing them in a vain effort to extinguish their Hunters’ traits. 

But here’s the rub, the world needs both. Hunters’ ability to effortlessly enter “fantasy land”, to defiantly question what is, makes us society’s innovators, thought leaders, risk takers, inventors, entrepreneurs, and artists. We fight hard, love with abandon, and can’t turn down an adventure. We don’t accept injustice, fighting for what we believe with unbridled ferocity. If you have dreamed of a world comprised only of Farmers, be careful what you wish for. Think 1984. Terrifying.

Embracing the Hunt

Being a Hunter is difficult. Hunters are that kid - they don’t sit still, talk in class, and make teachers jobs infinitely more difficult. As we grow up this translates to difficulty following through with necessary mundane tasks, and let’s face it - many of the necessary things we do in life are mundane. Dishes? Mundane. Paying bills? Mundane. Following the rules in school? Mundane. Paying attention in a meeting? Often mundane. 

For years, I longed to be a Farmer. Today I love being a Hunter. I’m proud that looking out the window and daydreaming has guided my life. Yes, my journey is rarely predictable, and that’s often hard. I’ve bloodied my nose from falling on my face so often. Yet stress, strain, repeated failure and societal pressure to play it safe hasn’t deterred me. It’s been my gas. My failures are always followed by more “What ifs,” and then by irreverent, sometimes impetuous, but always determined “Why nots?!?” 

My stubborn sense of adventure has made the impossible possible more than once. My imagination allows me to flip from business to business, task to task, while deriving meaning from the constantly changing demands and unpredictable flow of entrepreneurship. It’s also made it possible for me to creatively raise four wildly different, fierce kids without losing every last hair on my head.

A Message for Hunters

It’s not easy being a Hunter, but I’ve turned what were painful “deficits” as a kid into powerful assets as an adult. Now part of my job is sharing that advice with others, and I have had the distinct pleasure of mentoring and working with countless successful Hunters. Here’s what I’ve learned.  

If you’re a Hunter tempting to look at the highly successful Farmers around you and compare yourself to them. Don’t. 

Instead, look at your career and ask yourself...

• Are you adding value to your organization? 
• Are you using your strengths at work rather than struggling to overcome your weaknesses? 
• Are you fulfilled and successful? 

If the answer is “no” you’re probably a Hunter trying to farm, and you’re doing yourself and the world a disservice. You will never be able to succeed the way they do, and you shouldn’t try. You’ll fail. 

Here’s my advice…

Look outside the window and daydream. You just daydream, my fellow Hunter! Why waste your time in a job that bores you when your imagination could take you out of that job to greener pastures? You’ll learn a lot more, and get more done in the long run, if you keep daydreaming.

Whatever you do, don’t stay where you are, longing to be like the Farmers you know. Sure, you may never be your best friend or sibling who had everything figured everything out from the start.

What if… you need a different path?  Why not… try? 

Stay in your field, but find an innovative company which plays to your strengths. Go back to school and change your career. Get creative. Turn your “hobby” into an entrepreneurial venture. Become your own boss. 

Think about what you love, trust you’ll to do it well, break the rules, innovate, and start over. 

You’re a Hunter. Go hunt.

Eliza VanCort I'm a sought after motivational speaker who focuses on workplace communication, particularly the challenges faced by those in underrepresented groups and STEM. I'm also an actor, director, proud parent of four kids, and mentor to countless more. Checkout last year's TEDx: “Women, Power, and Revolutionizing Speech”.