On the Threshold of a New Year: 10 Learning Lessons of 2023

Each year always has unique flavor of mantras, people that enter your life, priorities, surprises, triumphs, hard-times, and wow moments…

If I could sum up 2023 in one word, it would be exciting!

It was a year of many firsts for me…

First full year as an entrepreneur, first (and last HAHA) time getting married, first time snapping my collar bone in half through the skin (and hopefully last), first time being a single-digit handicapper, and first time mountain biking the dolomites (bucket list ?).

At the end of day, I just always feel so lucky to be alive. As I stand on the threshold of a new year, here are my top 10 reflections and learning lessons from 2023:

#1: Live an examined life.

We often live an unexamined life, going week by week without evaluating what’s truly important in life. This is why hospice has always been so profound for me. You get a peek at what it’s like to be at the end of life when those thoughts are so pertinent. I unfortunately lost one of my dearest friends and patients, Tommie Roosman (97), as well as a young respected leader and friend, Sarah Rocco (39) this year. Life is a gift - always treat each day like it’s your last.

#2: You have to get over micro losing in order to get into macro winning.

You have to be okay with putting out the rough draft. I had NO idea what I was doing in business, but I at least put out the rough draft, and I have incredible editors that are constantly tweaking it to make it better and better. Making mistakes is a privilege of the active, and continuous learning is the minimum requirement for success in any field. The fastest person doesn’t win the race, it’s the one who starts first. Just do it!?

#3: Plant gardens to attract butterflies, instead of chasing them.

Women who invest in themselves go further. Period. We need to do a better job putting ourselves higher on our to-do list. For the last year, I saved up a years worth of salary to chase my dreams and invest in myself and vision. Each month, I would write myself a check, and in the memo line I would write 'funding my dream.' If I want someone to invest in me, I have to be the first investor.

#4: People won’t go along with you if they don’t get along with you.

Likability is the key to success going into any situation. In social situations, instead of thinking “how can I get more people to like me,” your mantra should be “how can I like more people.”

I learned this the hard way from my sweet mother (who is not so sweet when she sees you being mean to other kids) in first grade on a field trip volunteering for Meals on Wheels. My Mom caught me making fun of a kid for having big ears. She spanked me so hard and said, “Don’t you ever say bad things about people.” She taught me to always see the good in people.

Another lesson from my Dad was to "Always Smile." Growing up, my Dad had mangled teeth (no offense, Dad) which greatly impacted his ability to smile confidently. My uncle had a dental practice, and at some point in high school my Dad was fed up and fixed his problem by getting veneers. It completely changed his life. Instead of trying to hide his teeth because he was embarrassed, he would always say, “I’ve got the winning smile,” and the one thing that I heard repetitively from my dad was “just smile.”?

I’ve learned that these two simple ingredients of smiling and seeing the best in people are the key to being likable. It’s not being cool or popular…It’s about trying to find a way to like everyone. If you like everyone, everyone will like you and therefore you are likable. Treat everyone like they’re an old friend, even strangers. Don’t adapt to the energy of the room, create the energy of the room.

#5: Ordinary people can be extraordinary through commitment.

If you maximize your God-given talents, you can create an extraordinary impact in the ways that only you can. This might involve millions of dollars; it might not. But it will lead to the happiest and most significant version of you possible. I do believe when the commitment to a mission is strong enough, anything can happen. Ordinary people can be extraordinary through commitment to their dream.

#6: You’ve never lost by doing more…

Good times create weak people. Weak people create hard times. Hard times create strong people. Strong people create good times. I like to think of my career more like a jungle gym rather than a ladder, making the hard work more enjoyable because the joy comes from mastery rather than from ego-driven(or if you’re a female) she-go driven accomplishment.?

#7: Love can only happen in freedom.

Until I met Sam, I was a scared of commitment because it was my belief that freedom and commitment are mutually exclusive. Sam taught me love and freedom aren’t mutually exclusive, they are interdependent, two sides of the same coin. As Esther Perel says, “The dance of love and freedom allows us to open our hearts and experience deep intimacy without clinging or trying to control each other. The experience of separateness is as integral to this dance as is that of connection.”

#8: You never know how far you can go unless you run.

I heard this while watching the movie The Secretariat (amazing movie based on a true story if you haven’t seen it).? It was inspiring to see such a strong willed woman take on the male dominated business of horse racing. She was so passionate in her faith in Secretariat that refused an offer to buy the horse for $8 million dollars and even fought against her own husband and brother's demands to sell the horse. She demonstrates great courage and leadership qualities we can all aspire to. Whatever you do, do it in full-force.

#9: If they’re laughing, they’re listening.

Humor is the secret sauce to our marketing at times. LEGS and golf both have many puns and innuendoes, and rather than shying away from them, we embrace it even if sometimes we might be politically incorrect. We are ALL about FUN, and the science shows it’s an essential tool for keeping people engaged. Humor is what John Medina calls an 'emotionally charged event.' When the brain detects an emotionally charged event, the amygdala releases dopamine. Because dopamine aids in memory and information processing, it’s like a yellow post-it note on the brain saying "remember this."

#10: Grace isn't just God's part; it's also our part.

My partner has to deal with me being clumsy, doing things inefficiently around the house, falling up (and down) the stairs, knocking into things, spilling things...the list goes on. Yet, when he sees me do things like get my pants stuck in the new leaf blower for example, his response is always, "oh honey." I've learned to treat everyone with the amount of grace you would for a small child. Everyone is trying their best, and everyone deserves some respect and grace.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and incredible 2024! I'm excited to see what this year will bring!

Jillian