Three weeks… Three identical stories…. Three battle scarred friendships that turned bitter when their co-founder relationship went wrong!

Honestly… I could have written the script! They all began the same.

“We have known each other since childhood.”

“We were room mates at Uni.”

“We were best friends.”

“We thought we were invincible and nothing could break us!”

You have shared adventures, history, heartache and fun times.? Celebrated the highs and family milestones. Overcome challenges and supported each other through darker times. Experienced crazy nights out on the town and quiet nights in contemplating your life's journey.?

So co-founding seems like the most obvious and normal thing to do… ??♀?because you think you really know each other.?

And in fairness you do… but not in the way you should when you go into business together.?

So let me start by sharing a few misguided assumptions that can cloud your judgement when you embark on this journey side by side as friends.

• Your friend gives good counsel which you have always valued so you assume they will bring great insight and wisdom to a business relationship.?
• Your friend has been a great listener so you assume they will offer you the same courtesy in your partnership.
• Your friend was top of class at Uni so you assume they will be business smart and savvy too….??(Warning… Being academic and business smart are not the same).?
• You have agreed with each other on most decisions over the years so you assume aligned decision making in a business context will be no different.

Then there are other considerations you might not have thought through…

If for example you met at Uni, the chances are you might have studied the same subject which means you are doubling down on your skillset. Why is this a problem? You will both want to be ‘King Pin’ or the decision maker in your ‘sweet spot’ creating tension when you both believe your opinions are in the best interest of the business. ??

As for accepting advice, in the context of a friendship, you had a choice whether to take it or ignore it. There was neither threat to your relationship nor ego. Yet in business it’s competitive and gets personal.?

And what about money … while you might be very aware of your friend’s financial circumstances, do you really understand what drives and motivates them? Some might want to build a lifestyle business while others want to dominate the world. Don’t assume that just because you are friends, you know what they seek from the business.? Their ambition might not match their financial thirst.?

So how do you bulletproof your relationship to mitigate the risk of destroying your friendship and business?

• Don’t be blindsided. Do your due diligence as if you were complete strangers and explore expectations in as much detail as possible.
• Discuss the skills you both bring to the table and be mindful of any obvious overlap and agree who will take responsibility for what.
• Understand each other’s vision for the business and ensure it is aligned.
• Be honest about the time you want to commit to the venture and whether this is just a side hustle for them but the real deal for you.
• Be transparent around finances and debt … I don’t think that needs further explanation!
• Understand the business culture they have been used to. Corporate vs startup is a different game.
• Assess what acceptable standards look like. Your norm and their norm might be worlds apart.
• Explore pace of working and whether theirs matches yours.
• Investigate risk appetite, are they cautious or a risk taker?
• Talk about drivers and motivators, you might be surprised!
• Be clear about communication boundaries. What are expectations around acceptable times for 'business conversations'. In your friendship it might be the case that anything goes!

Imagine every worst case scenario and plan for conflict!?These are those 'what happens if' conversations. For example ...

• One of you wants out.
• You need to change direction.?
• You disagree on responsibilities.
• You step on each other’s toes.
• Your vision no longer aligns.
• One of you wants to revisit your renumeration and the other doesn’t.
• You can’t agree or find common ground on………(just fill in the blanks!)

Yes it might feel awkward and weird talking these uncomfortable issues through but it is crucial not to overlook them or you may well find yourselves one of the 65% of start ups that have failed because of founder fall outs.

Don’t expect this longstanding bond to carry you through the many hurdles of start up life. If you approach your venture with eyes wide open, when you do hit bumps… which you invariably will… you will be better placed to navigate these obstacles if you are furnished with all these insights … or you might decide your relationship is too valuable to risk sabotaging and you should keep your friendship and business separate.

Nicole Posner is a conflict consultant supporting visionary founders remain aligned and conflict free so they can focus of building, growing and accelerating their venture.

Get in touch: [email protected]