Three ways to kill your team

I've been coaching youth sports for about twenty years now and I've been attempting to come up with the simplest words to describe what can kill your team. We were at practice late one night in a season when one of my teams just didn't click. We had issues with athletes competing for limited starting spots and instead of working together for the common goal of team success some players thought that it would be better to play “Survivor” instead of playing as a team. A few came to the conclusion that if we got this group of people to project negative things about their teammates maybe they would get team approval and then more playing time. If you step back and take a look at this flawed theory it makes little sense. Your team may initially agree with your thoughts but your lack of athletic ability will only frustrate them because you’ve focused so much time destroying your team and less time practicing the sport.

My recipe of the three team killers.

#1 Jealously is defined as, (jealous) covetous: showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; “he was never covetous before he met her”; “jealous of his success and covetous of his possessions”;

Jealously just plain sucks. It usually starts when we want something that someone else has. It may result because we lack the effort to achieve that same success. We may be jealous of the skills that our teammate has acquired. Skill is acquired with lots of hard work. Some might say that those who are skillful make it look easy while others have to work hard at it. That isn’t true. The skillful work hard for their successes but they have a nack of retaining and also understanding what it takes to be successful and they generally keep doing it. Instead of being jealous of them try to do what it takes and grow your own success. It might not be the exact same skills that the person you may be jealous of has but it will be all yours. Stop being jealous start working at what you want.

#2 Rumor is defined as, Be circulated as an unverified account; it’s rumored that he lives on a houseboat; she is rumored to have gone into hiding;

Rumor’s can be one of the worst ways to destroy someone. They actually help feed jealously or may become the result of it. If you can’t confirm it, don’t say it. Seems pretty simple but we all have said something we don’t know even if it hurts someone. Maybe the rumor was said innocently, but most of us have said something just in spite which is a complete rumor. When rumors start flying in team environments we start losing trust. We end not being able to see through the blurred truth of what is true and what is false. Rumors often lead to lies and when someone lies it’s difficult to regain trust no matter how strong the relationship was. Rumors may be more harmful than jealously because they are spoken and not just a thought. Drop the rumors and fill it with laughter, smiles, and congratulations instead. It makes a huge difference.

#3 Envy is defined as, covetous: showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another’s advantages; “he was never covetous before he met her”; “jealous of his success and covetous of his possessions”; “envious of their art collection”

Envy could possibly be the worst of all three. When we are jealous we think these thoughts and normally don’t act upon it. When we spread rumors we are speaking harmful things that could have others lose trust in us but when we are envious of someone else we want what they have and we will physically do something to take it. We could do something as mild as not telling one of our teammates where practice is and with-holding important information or we could hurt or harm someone physically so that they are injured and not able to play. I don’t think any team I’ve coached has taken this mindset or elevated their lack of confidence to this level and I hope I never experience it again.

Image Copyright : Kittitee Pangwang