Three ways to foster ‘survivors pride’, and feel better, while being unemployed

Unemployment is a tricky state to be in. It can create mental monkey business in your head. You have a desire to be employed, of course, yet to achieve this you need someone else to hire you. And outside of becoming self-employed you may feel powerless to make employment happen. Your tools are your CV, your network, your personality and knowledge and maybe some branding. However you can still feel powerless because ultimately you are in the middle of the greatest sales experience of your life and for many of us selling ourselves, our skills and our experience just makes us feel vulnerable constantly.

The desire to be seen and valued and warmly welcomed into a new role feels tangible. So the longer the external world does not provide this to us in the way of a job the longer we are vulnerable to the monkey mind and its potential slow erosion of our self-esteem.

So how can we not become a victim to this sense of powerlessness? I believe one of the answers is feeling proud of weathering unemployment, or what some people refer to as developing ‘survivors pride’. Survivors pride is a feeling of accomplishment and pride that comes from enduring and surviving hardship and adversity. Now I’m not advocating building your entire identity around surviving the ‘struggle’ because ultimately this will mean you will always look for the struggle, but what I am recommending is valuing and celebrating the ‘resilient’ part of you by acknowledging and nurturing it during this time. Feeling pride in your resilience is a very powerful emotion that can help you get though any tough time.

Here are some reasons I feel 'survivors pride' while being unemployed, maybe you can too.

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1.???? Being unemployed is awakening, and this is a gift

The truth is until you have been a highly sort after employee who is now unemployed and lost in the churn of a scarce market you will not know what this feels like. Facing real, yet unimaginable, scarcity is deeply terrifying and can trigger overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. Like many of you I know for a fact that what you are going though now, and will get though, will be remembered for a long time. It is character building for sure. I know personally it has woken me up to having taken the market for granted and I can now see clearly areas of my life where I had been drifting.

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The mental work I have had to do has been very interesting and I am opening using this experience to grow as a person. I have had to think tactically and decisively to make sure my current situation does not drown me, which are thinking muscles I have not used in my personal life in a while, but should have. I am waking up to a previously passive way of walking through life. I feel the ‘me’ that is growing and surviving this is much street wiser and much more alert and awake than even a few months ago. As I come out of my previous stupor I do feel a sense of pride that I am surviving this ‘wake up’ and growing though it.

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2.???? Being unemployed can test what you value most, and this is a gift

We live in a world where external rewards are often the main forms of rewards that we look for and as such we can often stop valuing our internal self. We can get caught up in our status, title, financial success, etc but the truth is we are much more than this. Becoming unemployed is one of those times in your life where you can remind yourself that you are so much more than your job, income and status.

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What I am finding is that there are parts of myself that I am able to really appreciate more than I ever would if rushing onto a new job. For instance I am falling in love with the part of myself that loves to express myself though words, hence writing more. I am appreciating more my ability to introspect and explore my emotions deeply and this is a lovely thing to remember about myself.

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I have had to check in with what my true values are so I can centre myself, and what I have found out is my true values are not reliant on external validation. My true values are internal, such as being a kind, intelligent, capable, generous and strong human. These qualities do not leave me just because I am unemployed. I have to say I am liking who I see in the mirror lately and it is not an image of an ‘unemployed’ person. By focusing on my internal value, I am reminded that I am so much more than a job and I get to feel renewed pride of the inner person I truly am.

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3.???? Being unemployed can open your heart to being a vulnerable human, and this is a gift

When you have limited control over your work status it can be very humbling. But I believe this humbling event can be very grounding. The uncomfortable reality is that I have had things really great for a long time and now work is harder to get and now I am humbled. However I am actually quite glad for this. When enjoying years of success it is easy to feel invulnerable but the truth is everyone struggles and it is perfectly human to do so. When things are going super well it is so easy to slip into a state of disconnect and forget the rich vulnerability of humaneness that connects us all.

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Being reminded that I am a human that has vulnerability’s is nice actually. A dose of humbleness is timely and needed. There are so many people who have it worse off than me and my heart is now open to them all. Don’t get me wrong I love success and still very much feel humbleness during the good times, but it is much more profound when faced with my own struggle.

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The truth is my favourite connections are those that are forged though the tough times. When the mirror of vulnerability is shone back to me I feel a beautiful authentic connection with humanity. Sometimes life will throw you a curve ball, but there is gold in this. Being human and being vulnerable is real, and it is beautiful. What a gift to be reminded of this.

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Above are my thoughts on survivors pride and how to nurture it during unemployment. I believe there is richness of character in those that are struggling and surviving at the moment and I salute you. Stay strong, don’t hate the wake up, know your internal worth and celebrate your humanness. Your vulnerability is beautiful and not to be feared.

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Let me know if your thoughts on this and if you can think of other gifts that come with unemployment.

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All my best.

Penny