The Three Virtues My Father Taught me about Sales and Life

My father will turn 92 years old this October-Over the years, he’s taught me many life lessons especially the idea of living a virtuous life.??

The word virtue, which comes from Latin, originally meant the excellence of a man. The idea is that all types of "excellences" are necessary for men and women to live a successful and meaningful life. My father told me, virtue isn’t something you’re born with, it's something you practice.

He taught me you can learn mastery of a craft, or your chosen profession but the greatest measure of success is through virtues, especially the virtues of kindness, humility and integrity.

The Virtue My Dad Taught me at the Los Angeles Airport in 1974

After years of saving, my dad surprised my brother and me with a trip to Hawaii for my 12th birthday. Back then, buying airline tickets meant visiting the airport ticket counter in person, long before the era of online bookings.

I vividly recall the prices listed on a sign overhead at the counter:?

HONOLULU ADULTS: $350?

CHILDREN: $175 (11 and under)

The ticket agent glanced at me, then at my dad, and queried, "How old is your daughter?" Without missing a beat, my dad responded, "She's twelve."

I desperately tried to get my dad's attention by pulling on his shirt. Ignored, I then tried clearing my throat loudly.?

I couldn’t believe it. I was born at 5:15 PM, so technically I wasn’t yet twelve $175 dollars was more money than I could imagine.

As we made our way to the gate, my father bent over, looked down at me and said, “You will have many opportunities in life to bend the truth, and then justify your behavior.” He paused.

“There are two types of people in life. Those who are honest and those who aren’t. We are an honest family. We act with integrity.”

Create Non Negotiables in Your Personal and Professional Life

He taught me about the idea of non-negotiables, or the No Matter What Rule as it relates to perpetuating one’s virtues.

When we have a non-negotiable in our lives, decisions are made easy. Sometimes, the non-negotiable’s are small:?deciding to give annually to the policeman’s ball, or vowing to never steal or share software.?

Others are more consequential, like the decision to have fidelity in one’s marriage or to represent your boss or your product in a particular unwavering manner.

?It’s easy to say you won’t bend the truth when times are good, when you don’t need the money, when you’re on top of the pack, but how about when your spouse is sick or when the mortgage payment is overdue??

?It’s up to each one of us to decide what our values are and to create our non-negotiables accordingly. Know what you’re willing to say or not say, so you’re not tempted to do otherwise no matter what’s going on in your personal world.

Here’s some questions to get you started:

• Can I justify exaggerating a product’s benefits just once?
• Should I omit mentioning a product flaw?
• Is it right to use someone else’s work without giving them credit?
• What about creating fake testimonials or documents?
• Is it ethical to misstate timelines in sales reports?
• Can I agree with my boss publicly but criticize her privately?
• Should I commit to deadlines I know I can’t meet and make excuses later?
• Is it fair to blame others for poor results?
• Is pursuing a side hustle against company policy justifiable for extra income?
• Can I fabricate a price increase just this once?

Aristotle taught that we aren’t born with virtues, we’re born with the ability to practice virtues:

Practice builds habits. You weren’t born with integrity any more than you were born with the ability to make a chocolate souffle or tell a powerful sales story. Integrity, like a muscle, is an excellence we build. We practice it every day with the decisions we make the words we use, and the actions we take.?

After enough practice integrity becomes not just what we do, but who we are.

It was my father who inspired me, to know that to sell more we in fact need to be more.?

Happy Father's Day, Pop, and happy Father's Day to all the Dad's who teach us that it's more important to do good than to look good.