Three Tools to Beat Holiday Stress

Last week, I was catching up with a colleague. When I asked how she was doing, she let me in on a little secret.

“This time of year is so stressful,” she confessed, “that sometimes I fantasize about running away and not coming back until January.”

It was a fair point.

Wherever you are in the world, and whatever holidays you’re celebrating, this time of year can be taxing. Research shows that while positive emotions like happiness and love dominate the month of December, we also feel more stress, fatigue, and irritability.

As much as we may love our families, it isn’t easy to make time for everyone. Or keep our cool when dinner conversations turn political. Or make a dent in our holiday shopping list.

And that’s just the beginning!

While 29 percent of people blame their home life for increased stress in December, 56 percent point the finger at their job. It’s no wonder—so many of us are juggling work and family obligations, trying to do a month of work in two weeks because our boss is "asking" us to use vacation time, and furiously finishing performance reviews and other year-end rituals.

No wonder my colleague was secretly dreaming of running away! If you feel her pain, here are three simple tools to help you make it through the holidays unscathed:

1. Change your perspective

Dr. Victor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and legendary psychiatrist, noted that "the last of the human freedoms [is] to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances."

One powerful way to change your perspective is to ask, “Will I be worried about this in a month?” For example, the insane number of holiday parties on your calendar will be a distant memory a month from now.

2. Be grateful

Gratitude is another antidote to stress. In one study, when students were asked to write down five things they were grateful for each week, they felt better and more optimistic about their future. The practice of gratitude takes just seconds, but the returns are huge.

This year, I’ve decided to reframe the stress I feel in juggling three families (in-laws, parents, step-parents) over the holidays—what I should be focused on is how lucky I am to have so many family members I truly want to spend time with!

3. Give and get support

In his research, my colleague Shawn Achor discovered that “social support [is] the greatest predictor of happiness during periods of high stress.” And certainly, getting the support we need is critical.

But as it turns out, it’s equally important to give support. Shawn found that people who provide social support to others at work—for example, helping with a project—were ten times more likely to be engaged (and 40 percent more likely to get a promotion!).

In the true spirit of the holiday season, perhaps that’s the most important thing to remember. That the connections we have with the people around us—our family, our friends, our colleagues—are a huge part of what make our lives so full. The least we can do is return the favor.

As Charles Dickens smartly pointed out, “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”

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Dr. Tasha Eurich is an organizational psychologist, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author of INSIGHT (now out in paperback!) and Bankable Leadership.