Three things you should NOT say in meeting rooms.

Sometimes we all say things in meeting rooms without realizing the damage they cause. The worse part is at times we never will know, unless we look at what we say as the third person seated across.

[1]. Do NOT step in and say "I think what he/is trying to say" when someone is finding it difficult to establish his/her input on the table.

In most cases people do this in good intention, but consider these:

[a]. It damages the confidence of the person trying to table the idea. Makes him/her look like someone unable to voice out.

[b]. If the idea were in fact agreed upon and taken on board after your hijacking, then it makes you the hero and not the person who actually ideated it.

[c]. FACT: You cannot possibly get inside of the person's mind, you will never know what the person was actually trying to say. Even if you got it wrong, he/she may never have the strength to correct you, especially after you've hijacked the place now.

Try instead, using your vocal power to get that person some attention across the table, try saying:

[i]. Let's hear him/her out

[ii]. I think he/she's making a fair point here, let him/her elaborate

That way, you not only get the person space to come out, you boost his/her confidence level to contribute better.

[2]. If you have failed to submit something to the meeting, a report, a presentation or any other agreed submission on the day of the meeting, do NOT defend yourself with "I was busy with something else" excuse, ever.

It makes the audience of the meeting less important, makes yourself trying to look supreme and above the others' pay-grade.

Try instead:

[i]. May I ask for a couple more days to put it together, I am still not ready.

[ii]. I've been working on it but there are still a few last pieces that I need to put together before I table it to all of you, let me table this at the next meeting.

That way: you not only accept your accountability but also leave the pending topic as a priority in the list.

[3]. Do NOT press or reiterate by saying "I need to know/understand" phrase, even if you're the Chair of the meeting.

It makes the meeting about you, plus it makes you trying portray superiority. If you're not the Chair, then it undermines the status-quo of the meeting Chair and it also sparks breeding of unhealthy work relationships.

Try instead:

[i]. Let us have more clarity so we can decide better

[ii]. Please elaborate further for the benefit of all

That way: you make yourself a part of the circle and not stand on the circle, and will also avoid personal polarization.

(C) Nadeesha A. Watawala