Three Things You Need to Master to Improve Your Mental Health

Mental health had not been on my radar of consciousness until I experienced a major burnout in 2016.?The burnout was not a mistake but the result of continuing to apply grit under the most unfavourable work circumstances and personal challenges as a new mom.

While that might have been the most significant awakening call for me, it was a very dark path at the time. Looking back, it was a forced chance for me to slow down and focus on my recovery.

To pull myself out of this dark place, I put together a support circle consisting of health professionals, trusted friends and colleagues, and a coach.

On top of that, I tried different things, such as restoration yoga, energy healing, floating, improvised dancing, and so on, hoping those could act as “magic pills” and help speed up my recovery and get back to my “normal” life.

What I learnt throughout the process is that there is no magic pill to rush the recovery process — and why should there be any? The life that I deemed normal then was actually NOT normal. After all, I was forced to stop for a reason.

The reason was for me to regain self-respect and self-connection, to honour my own pace, and unlearn unsupportive past conditionings. Knowing this was the first step. I needed to instil that wisdom by putting it into action.

After soul-searching and experimenting, I (re)discovered three practices that were instrumental to my recovery process and which I continue to love and practice daily for my mental health. Today, I share with you these tried-and-true practices that can help boost your mental well-being in this exhaustingly fast-paced world.

1.?Breathe

Although some people are reticent to try this technique, it allows us to be present in the moment and stay connected to ourselves.

The way we breathe can tell us a lot about our state of mind and emotions. You can use your breath as a tool to go within. In this article, I focus on sharing my adapted version of a breathing and self-enquiry exercise that I can easily integrate into my daily life.

Keep in mind that there is no one-size-fits-all method and that you need to choose the tools and techniques that are right for you. For example, if the breathing exercise does not jive with you, but dancing does, you may want to dedicate a few minutes to being present and reconnecting with yourself daily through dancing.

It is easy to lose ourselves in autopilot mode or business, but your mental health will thank you for pulling back from time to time and slowing down by breathing deeply and intentionally.

When you pay attention to your breaths, you anchor your awareness in the present and take your mind off of regrets and depression caused by past events, anticipatory anxiety and worries about the future.?Therefore, this deeply conscious breathing technique helps calm your nervous system and, consequently, reduces stress.

Another technique I practise is the mindful breathing technique. It consists of focusing your attention on your breathing. This small yet mighty exercise enables you to examine your emotions and be conscious of the underlying thoughts that cause those emotions.

This practice enables us to become aware of our thoughts without judging, reacting or buying into them.?By simply observing your own thoughts, you create a distance between yourself and your thoughts.?It interrupts the pattern of autopilot response and helps you gain perspectives and consciously choose your ideas and actions.

Take a moment to check in on yourself by curiously and lovingly asking yourself these simple questions:

• How am I physically, mentally and emotionally?
• What do I need right now?
• What can I do to bring me good health, peace of mind and happiness?

Then, take simple action by responding to what you need at the moment.

The benefits of this simple practice, which does not necessarily require a meditation session or a quiet space, are paramount. This exercise may only take a few minutes of your day. Sounds good? Then give it a try!

2.?Take a break

This refers to the ability to pause, take a step back, and allow space for reflection and recalibration. Our brain wants to strategise, plan, and find solutions, which cannot be achieved when overwhelmed. Thus, a safe mental space allows you to recover from tunnel vision, broaden your perspective and look at the bigger picture.

You can claim this mental space by unplugging from your current situation in a feasible way, for instance, by going for a walk, taking a good nap or, better yet, a vacation! Allow your creative brain to do its magic without you constantly overthinking. We are very good at solving problems this way! Just let it simmer.

Taking a break sounds simple enough. Yet, many people aren’t good at it, especially in the current hyperconnected world (checking if your Airbnb accommodation has Wi-Fi, anyone?). Switching off or unplugging for mental health is a mental act. Being on holiday or physically away from work does not equate to taking a break.

Taking a break or resting is a crucial part of learning and growing.

Has your best idea ever come to you while in the shower? That is not a coincidence. In?Learning How to Learn, Professor Barbara Oakley explains the brain’s two modes of thinking — focused and diffuse — and each mode’s role in problem-solving. She explains that we use the focused mode for deep work, to form initial skills and solve narrow and targeted problems.

On the other hand, the diffuse mode is used for a problem that requires new ideas, a wide perspective, and connecting concepts. The diffuse mode happens during our downtime, when we do not focus on cracking the code or the problems at hand.?So, by taking a break from your focused thinking, you allow the diffuse thinking mode to do its part in problem-solving.

If you want to learn more about this,?this free course?is currently available on Coursera.

3.?Set boundaries

Listen closely:?Boundaries save lives.

Personal boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves to honour our personal values, needs and priorities.

As vital as they are for our health and well-being, boundaries get a bad rap as some people associate setting boundaries with telling people to take a walk, threatening, disrupting harmony, or being unkind. But, that is not really what it means in a respectful social dynamic.

Protecting your boundaries does not mean being punitive or offending. Their purpose is not to force a boundary invader to change their behaviour but to exercise the better choice of respecting your own needs. Drawing healthy boundaries can be done respectfully and with compassion towards yourself and others. It cultivates psychological safety and demonstrates self-trust and self-respect.

From a productivity perspective, boundaries help manage expectations and set a condition for sustainable success.?They promote better communication and respectful collaboration with those who hold different values and priorities.

Here is what boundaries may sound like:

“I have to catch the 6 p.m. train. Can I call you from the train, or shall we discuss this tomorrow?”?—?Setting boundaries for yourself to respect your personal time and give your colleague (who tends to come up with a new request juuuuust when you are about to leave the office) options to continue a discussion.

“I heard that you want a milkshake. Mommy needs a quick, deep breath, and will make a milkshake for you right after.”?—?Setting boundaries to regulate your mental and emotional bandwidth and respond with kindness.

“I won’t be able to join the party today. I have a yoga class.”?— Setting boundaries for yourself to respect your personal commitment and prioritise your health and well-being.

None of these equates to telling someone to take a walk, right?

“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”― Brené Brown, Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.

While you cannot control the way people act, you have control over your response to a particular situation. It starts with you knowing, communicating and honouring your boundaries.

Suppose you are in an environment where your communicated boundaries are constantly violated, or you feel that you need to compromise them frequently to maintain harmony. In that case, it is time to honestly assess whether it is the right environment for you.

Ask yourself how you can commit to protecting your boundaries. Sometimes, this means choosing your peace and self-respect and moving on.

The takeaway

The bottom line is that when it comes to protecting your mental health, you will benefit from practising living in the moment and reflecting on what you need (to breathe), creating a mental space to rest and recharge (take a break), and exercising personal boundaries (setting boundaries).

I want to end this article with a quote from?Jonathan Field:

“The path to becoming is littered with the remains of those who missed the grace of being.”

I hope for you to find joy and contentment in being rather than fixating on your pursuits and losing sight of what makes you whole.

As a personal empowerment and accountability coach, my mission is to help ambitious professionals change the way they approach success by escaping survival or hustle mode and intentionally crafting the life they want most.

Will you join me in defining success that can be felt from the inside and changing the way you approach success? Reach out to?me, and let’s discuss how we can work together to make it happen.

Further readings:

How downtime can bring out our superpower: What If Mundane Tasks Were the Key to Your Next Breakthrough?

Read my key learnings during my burnout recovery journey in this article: Staring Into an Abyss of Burnout? Here Are Some Nuggets of Wisdom I Really Want You To Know

This post is adapted from my article published in The Orange Journal on Medium.