Three Things Mentally And Emotionally Strong People Do When Their Jobs Or Careers Start Crashing

By Jack Kelly

An instinctive response to a series of unfortunate events is to panic. For instance, if you have been interviewing and nothing seems to be panning out, thoughts start to wildly race through your mind.

“I can’t believe I didn’t get the offer!”

“I gave it everything I had.”

“I’m perfect for the role and someone else got it?”

“What is wrong with me?”

“What did I do wrong?”

“How come I can never catch a break?”

The same feeling arises when you don’t get the raise or promotion, your boss scolds you in front of your peers, your job is relocated to another state or you are downsized out of the blue. It's so easy to get angry, bitter and anxious. I’ve seen many people act as if they are in a bad relationship and their first instinct is to immediately leave. They seek out my help to find a new job. I advise them to carefully think about moving, but some already have their minds made up to quit and leave. They jump at the first offer, only to realize shortly thereafter that it is nothing but a rebound job and it is far below the compensation level and title they deserve.

When things start falling apart in your career, it is almost a reflex action for some to take it out on others. They argue and fight with their boss, colleagues and clients. They’ll take out their anger and misery on their spouses, partners and children. Then, things spiral further downward as your support system—while empathetic—starts feeling abused and taken advantage of. The situation worsens on all fronts.

Certain people find solace at the bottom of a bottle or abusing prescription or illicit drugs. They rationalize that it is only a temporary fix to get them through a rough patch, but it becomes a habit and adds fuel to the fire. The fear and anger manifest and unfold in the office and during interviews. You become toxic and others want nothing to do with you, which then exacerbates the situation.

Here are three things that mentally and emotionally strong people do to avoid this downward spiral and how they effectively turn things around:

1. Mentally and emotionally strong people don't immediately or instinctively panic. Strong people take a step back and critically analyze the situation. These mentally strong people view their circumstances in a realistic and objective fashion. It may not be the boss that’s at fault, they conclude. Their emotional intelligence may lead them to think that it could be that that they have outgrown their job and are irritated because they feel trapped. When they arrive at this realization, they’ll handle matters in a professional and grown-up manner. The person will request a meeting with their boss and share their concerns. They’ll say, “I really enjoy working for you and the company, but I’m ready to do more. How could we partner together to ensure that I can learn, grow, contribute and advance? I’d really like to stay with the company, but need your help to guide me as to how I can take my career to the next level.” If the conversation doesn’t end well with a solid plan for success, the strong person doesn’t get resentful. Instead, they recognize that it is time to move on and will strategically plan the next move.
2.  Emotionally and mentally strong people accept that bad things happen. They don't take it personally, allow themselves to fall apart or take out their frustrations on friends, co-workers and loved ones. They will share what they are going through with others, so that the people they interact with will know what’s on their mind. The emotionally strong person will say things like, “I’m going through a tough time at work. I lost a few big clients, the company is not doing well and my job may be in jeopardy. I’ll be fine, but if you notice a little difference, please bare with me. Let me know if I get too morose or mean spirited. Thanks for understanding.” These people are comfortable sharing what's happening and they’ll also ask for advice and counsel instead of trying to solve all their problems on their own.
3. Mentally strong people take action early—when things first start to unravel. Instead of letting themselves become victims, they take assertive and proactive measures. If they feel their job is in jeopardy, they commence conversations with recruiters and update their LinkedIn profile and résumé. They don't rush headfirst into something new. Mentally strong people will act in a deliberate and thoughtful manner. They’ll analyze the situation and figure out if the problems stem from being in the wrong job, career or company. It could be that they are swimming against the tide and it will be the same if they continue in the same path somewhere else. They may decide to reinvent themselves and try moving into a different direction, even if it is difficult and time consuming to do this. Emotionally and mentally strong people will vigorously engage in outside interests that they enjoy, so that it balances out the problems at work. These activities allow them to decompress, recharge and positively interact and connect with others. They will also set aside time to quietly think about what’s going on at the office and what type of damage control they need to do, how to rectify things and advance forward.

Emotionally and mentally strong people either instinctively know or teach themselves to avoid panicking (which makes a bad situation worse), try to remedy and improve their situation and, if that doesn't work, they calmly, coolly and methodically plan the next step in their career. They’ll toss aside the baggage of past hate, anger, victimhood and move forward in a positive way.

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Jack Kelly is the founder and CEO of The Compliance Search Group, a leading Executive Search firm that successfully placed thousands of professionals with top-tier Wall Street banks, hedge funds, private equity, FinTech, wealth management, trading, brokerage, and an array of other financial services firms over the last twenty plus years.

He is also the founder, publisher and CEO of ComplianceX , a career oriented blog and accompanying newsletter emailed to over one hundred thousand readers every day. Jack is the CEO of The Wall Street Executive , an international job board with thousands of high-end listings and insightful articles about Wall Street, banking, finance, alternative investments, and technology.

Jack has also recently founded a revolutionary new startup, WeCruitr, which will help job seekers easily find and connect with top recruiters. He is a contributor to Forbes.com and writes real and actionable interviewing, career and salary advice

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