Three things being a stay-at-home dad taught me about my professional life?

I've taken some career risks of late and whilst I hope they will pay off, years will pass before I know that outcome. The latest decision was to leave the workforce all together, to cash out my long service and lean into the #dadlife. As that time draws to an end I thought I'd capture some reflections before I again, like we do, become too busy to write it down and share what has been an amazing expereince.

1.????? There is more than one way to cut a banana.

My toddler having not napped demanded a banana be cut in half so that he could eat it. Falling into what I considered to be best practice, I cut it in half between the top and bottom. It’s efficient, simple, straight forward, and how I’ve always done it.

Cue meltdown #9 for that day.

In retrospect, as I’m not some kind of corporate growth influencer, this is a simple reminder that it’s ok to ask silly questions no matter our roles. Our experiences, education and learnings have got us this far but asking what seems like a silly question “How would you like me to cut that?” would have ensured our expectations, of how we reach the same outcome, matched. In seconds a meltdown is avoided. Neither way is wrong, just different.

Now, having watched someone reach a level of joy that can only be obtained by stuffing a banana into their face sideways, I’ll likely ask that silly question more often with stakeholders. After all if the outcome is the same, how can an alternative be any more wrong than what I know?

?2.????? All things come to an end, but the washing – that lasts forever.

Like ocean tides, the rhythmic cycle of laundry marks the passage of time. The “grind”. No matter the role we all have those tasks that make our internal monologue groan and mutter something incoherent under it's imagined breath; like finding those paint covered clothes from daycare that need soaking after you just finished that "last" load.

We all go through the same 5 steps of acceptance:

Swearing, (biscuit crumbs – young ears are always listening)

Procrastinate (I’ll do it later),

Delegate (it’s your turn to do it),

Procrastinate some more (I'll do it tomorrow), before finally,

Acceptance (Fine! Alright I'll do it)

Our busy lives tell us to finish one thing and quickly move onto the next perpetually......till we die. I'm not one that finds mindfullness easy and have to push myself into that space. But this daily ebb of clothes transiting between rooms has moments to celebrate. Enjoying the sun as I hang the 5th load for that day or brewing coffee as I discover that there is yet another load. Allowing ourselves and our teams to celebrate small wins on an equally small scale is allowable. Be it tender submission, a completed report, a balanced budget (hahahaha!), they all deserve a quick walk around the office to stretch, a tea break, a moment to sit in the sun before starting the next task.

Alot like washing the grind will always be there, so we may as well enjoy the brief pause between tides to make that coffee and breathe. Now does anybody have any whites that need doing?

?3.????? Nothing is more important than family.

Cliché I know, but here’s take. My mentors, reflecting on their careers and life often mention that they should have taken more time for family. They focused on career development, further education whilst working full time, some even working two jobs pushing themselves into new challenges. Yes, it absolutely allowed them particular lifestyle and set them up for the future. The debt paid, with their own acknowledgement however, is that they missed out on things that only exist for a fraction of time or only happen once.

I absolutely could have studied during my long service, focused on creating my own consultant business, or loaded up on contract work. To pay that debt though, what would have I missed?

Seeing my son look at me like I wear a superhero cape after swinging him around in the laundry basket till we’re both dizzy in the yard. Explaining that engines dont eat vegetables as he continues stuffing asparagus heads from the garden into the cylinders of my motorcycle, or running alongside him on his scooter as his confidence grows and being there to comfort him when he falls.

For me, the ultimate core memory however was simply being asked to stop and sit in the middle of the kitchen floor so he can climb into my lap and snuggle for a few minutes purely because he needed his dad at that exact moment. To be present and engaged in that moment is truely unique and to me worth more than a another certificate in my resume.

This may be a decision that doesnt have a tangible return on investment that others see. A point driven yesterday when on hearing what I’d been up to, a director I was looking to work with stated “oh. so you're just unemployed”. Yeah you could cut the banana like that. But alot like the washing, work will always be there, but the time we get to spend with those we care about is limited and THAT is something worth celebrating.

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