Three sweet moments for you to enjoy.

Take a moment and breathe.

Three seemingly small moments this morning - all reminded me of a very important lesson during this often overly stressful time of year. I want to share them with you.

1. Ponytail Tantrum.

My ten-year-old daughter, Lulu, now insists on doing her own hair in the morning before school. At first thought, this seems like a great idea. Independence. Self-reliance. All of that. But what it can mean – as it did vividly today – is that she will freak out if she can’t get it just so. Reading this as grown-ups, you might not relate.

But it’s like the meme my friend Susan posted on Instagram the other day:

“When I was 14, I spent three hours on my hair. Now that I’m 40 I haven’t combed it in three days.”

So, being on the three-hours side of that spectrum, Lulu was losing it. She couldn’t make her ponytail erupt from her hair at the point she had chosen. It kept slipping. And she couldn’t get the hair around the ponytail smooth. Her frustration was massively delaying us. I quietly asked, “May I help you?” And that, of course, poured kerosene on her internal flame. She exploded, throwing her hair brush at the floor. â€œNO! I have to do it by myself!”

We were clearly going to be late for school. Now, I could’ve forced myself into the situation with any number of mommy-type admonishments:

“That behaviour isn’t acceptable.” OR “Pick up that brush and I demand to do it.” Or what I was leaning toward: â€œThat’s it! Just get in the car now and stop obsessing about your hair. It’s fine.”

Instead, I did a quick mental calculation. We’re rarely, if ever, late. And I didn't have any immediate appointments directly following drop-off. So, instead of saying anything, I calmly walked into the living room where the Christmas tree was lit and the fire was gently burning.  And sat down. I looked out of the window toward Cork’s Lovely River Lee. So peaceful out there. I. Felt. Calm.

In a couple of minutes Lulu walked in – also calm. And she politely asked if I would make her hair into a ponytail for her. I did. In the proper place and smooth and everything.

We calmly walked to the car. A full thirty minutes late from our usual departure time. 

Yes, she was late for morning assembly. But she didn’t miss the start of class. And we had zero stress on the drive since I hadn't lost my cool. Best of all, as I dropped her off, my young daughter thanked me for helping her and gave me a big hug.

2. The Train Attendant whose name is Marzena

Now I’m on the train from Cork to Dublin where I’m fortunate to be sitting at the top table for tonight’s Business and Finance award gala. 

As I took my seat, the train attendant kindly offered me a free coffee or tea. Before I answered, I asked her her name. I always like to know people’s names and her Irish Rail name tag was completely faded. She told me her name was Marzena. I didn’t catch the pronunciation when she first said it and she immediately backtracked, “Oh it’s okay. I am called many things, ‘Marge,’ ‘Maggie’ it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does,” I replied, putting aside my work on my laptop. I looked up at her. â€œI have traveled all over the world and I don’t agree with this notion of not taking time to learn how to properly say someone’s name because isn’t familiar to the listener. Please, tell me your real name again.”

“It’s Mahr-zhen-ah,” she said slowly. I repeated it back slowly – and correctly.

“It’s a play on the Polish word for ‘dream’, -‘marzenie’”, she offered. Marzena then brightened as she told me that her mother thought her little new baby daughter was like a dream and that’s how she ended up Marzena.

I loved that and asked Marzena if her mother was still living. She said yes, but her mother was recently diagnosed with stage four cancer. Marzena’s eyes glistened as she said she is hoping that she and her husband could conceive soon. â€œMaybe I can have a daughter too and name her after my own mother.”

“What’s her name?”

“Alexandra, ma’am.” She replied.

“Call me Gina.”

People’s names do matter. 

3. The chocolate.

Marzena soon returned with my coffee and there was also a Cadbury chocolate bar on the tray. â€œWhat’s that for?” I asked as I had only ordered the coffee.

“I enjoyed talking to you so much, I wanted you to have it,” she replied, beaming. 

Well, I certainly don’t need another piece of chocolate at Christmas-over-eating-time, but her kind sentiment was so genuine I couldn’t decline.

After Marzena departed down the aisle, I tried to hastily rip open the package so I could get back at my client report I was writing, but the wrapper wouldn’t budge.

“Don’t use your teeth, Gina,” I scolded myself. â€œSlow down. Look. There’s probably an indicator.” Sure enough when I turned it over, there was a little arrow and the words, like Lewis Carroll had written them himself, appeared. “PEEL ME.” 

I slowly pulled apart the two sides of wrapping and voila. Chocolate.

And in that instant, today’s seemingly insignificant three moments all came to me in a rush. From ponytail tantrums, to learning a stranger’s name, to opening a bar of chocolate. 

Sometimes you have to slow down to truly enjoy life’s sweetness.

So folks, please. Take a moment. For others. For yourself. Breathe. Happy holidaze.

Kindly,

Gina