Three strategies to improve self-talk
Julian Talbot, FRMIA F.ISRM CISSP SRMCP
Enterprise Security and Geostrategic Risk Specialist | Co-Author of Security Risk Management Body of Knowledge (#SRMBOK)
We all experience self-talk. Good, bad, indifferent - the chatter of our mind is our constant companion. You are possibly experiencing it right now as you read this.
Self-talk is one of the many ways that you program and reprogram yourself. There are many different approaches but here are three strategies which are backed by good science.
Affirming
There is a clear body of evidence that if you believe you can do something, your outcomes and performance will improve. Telling yourself "I can ... " or "I will ... " works for most people most of the time. There is a catch, however. If a message lies outside the boundary of what you can believe, it will be less persuasive than messages that fall inside that boundary. Affirmations outside these boundaries meet the greatest resistance. So pick something you can believe possible, even if it's a stretch.
Questioning
If affirming doesn't work for you, there is a fall-back strategy which is backed by research and only needs you to change the position of two words.
“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
- Anthony Robbins
Researchers gave test subjects a puzzle to solve. Before starting they asked some of the participants to say to themselves, “I will solve the anagram.” Others were told to ask themselves “Will I solve the anagram?” The results were astounding. The subjects who said “Will I … “ were 85% more successful in solving the puzzle. Yes, asking “will I?” is more likely to deliver success than saying “I will”.
Distancing
Research suggests that even changing your self-talk to the third-person will help you perform better and feel better. Change “I can’t do it” to “He/she can’t do it.” Putting distance between you and the person who can’t do something has been shown to make people feel better about it and perform better.
THE EVIDENCE
If you'd like to know more about this topic or view the references to back up these strategies, you can find them in the longer version of this article.
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Senior-Level Operations Leadership
7 年Julian - You're writing is inviting, well structured, insightful, and simply world-class. I HAD to bookmark your website, you have described tools that most everyone could use development on. Including myself. Outstanding!
Chief Operating Officer at SimplifIT | Host of MSP After Hours | CMMC Compliance | Healthcare IT Leadership | Mindset Expert | Author | High Performance Business Coach
7 年Self talk is equal to your thoughts. They are exactly the same thing. For example, I want you to think about a yellow football... guess what your self talk was? Yep.. yellow football. If you went to change your self talk, choose something different. Improving your self talk ratio of positive conversations will in fact improve your life.. for some strange reason, people consider the construct of self talk and the construct of thought as separate however they aren't..
Turn strangers into customers | Outbound & Sales Coach, Trainer, and SKO Speaker for B2B sales teams
7 年Definitely going to try the questioning technique!