Three Steps to More Effective Team Conversations
Lindsay Uittenbogaard
Founder at Mirror Mirror? - Actionable Insights, Tailored to Teams
Are you tired of meetings that seem to go nowhere, drain time and energy, and leave people feeling disconnected? We’ve all been there – meetings where people drift off-topic, get into repetitive arguments, or leave without clear decisions. Then another meeting is scheduled to “finish” what the that one failed to achieve. This ridiculous cycle actually creates misalignment and disengagement, taking people further away from their goals and from each other! ??
If like me, you've had enough of this madness, join the club. Statistics show that most people feel meetings are a waste of time. According to a HBR article, ‘Stop the Meeting Madness’, 71% say meetings are unproductive. Another study by Atlassian puts that number even higher, at 72%.
But it doesn't have to be that way. A 'team alignment' approach to meetings can streamline them into meaningful, productive, and energizing exchanges. Based on years of experience, here's how Mirror Mirror does it for teams, boiled down into a simple, three-step process so you can start turning your meetings into progressive group learning events.
Step 1: Set Up Each Topic in Advance
Start by clarifying exactly why each topic is on the agenda ahead of time. A vague agenda item like "Project Update" often leads to scattered discussions. Instead, be specific and ask:
Breaking down the topic in advance lets people prepare and come ready to share relevant information. Be ready to adjust as the conversation develops, but start with a shared understanding.
Example: Instead of “Supplier Contract Extension,” you might redefine the topic as “Supplier Performance,” including subtopics like performance evaluation, alternatives, and budget concerns. This clarity helps everyone collect their thoughts and data before diving into the discussion.
Tip: Encourage team members to think through their perspectives beforehand while keeping an open mind. No one will have a fully formed opinion until they’ve heard others’ viewpoints.
Step 2: Exploration – Share Perspectives Without Pressure to Agree
Once you start discussing a topic, invite each person to share their perspective without any pressure to reach agreement. This phase is about listening and learning from each other’s views.
In neuroscience, the "Explanation Effect" shows that explaining ideas clarifies them and often brings up new insights. Listening without pressure allows ideas to surface and encourages constructive interaction.
Not everyone will have a lot to say, and that’s fine. Some may just share a brief thought or pass if they have little insight on the topic. However, sometimes this round of sharing reveals complexities that may require follow-up discussions or input from a smaller group.
Example: On “Supplier Performance,” two key points emerge: (1) a two-year notice period still applies to the contract, and (2) some performance issues could be due to communication gaps on both sides.
Tip: A facilitator can help keep the discussion focused. The goal is to gather views, not necessarily to reach a consensus on them. This way, you make room for different ideas and insights to work together constructively.
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Step 3: Action – Define Practical Next Steps
After everyone has shared their perspectives, focus on defining actionable next steps based on what’s been discussed. These actions don’t need to be complex; they just need to move the team forward.
Set clear expectations: What actions are needed, who will take them, and by when? By ensuring everyone leaves with specific steps, you maintain forward momentum and accountability.
Example: “Based on today’s discussion, we agreed to gather more information about potential performance issues with X supplier. Jane will coordinate this and speak with the supplier by [Y date]. We’ll revisit this topic in four weeks.”
Tip: Focus on practical steps aligned with the discussion’s original purpose. As needed, check how these steps align with broader team goals.
Meetings don’t have to feel like a drain. With purpose, structure, and discipline, they can be valuable spaces for progress, learning, and alignment. Instead of seeking agreement on every point, aim to gain a shared understanding of different perspectives. This way, meetings become opportunities for expression, learning, and unity – not just another item on the calendar.
At Mirror Mirror?, we know every team is a complex landscape of unique experiences, viewpoints, and mental models. These differences can lead to misalignment, but when harnessed effectively, they fuel creativity, foster collaboration, and drive growth. That’s why our research-based diagnostic tools reveal where team members are out of sync, and our alignment process guides them to turn these into opportunities.
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Join us for one of our upcoming Open Discovery Calls to explore the Mirror Mirror? approach. In this 60-minute session, led by experienced systemic team coach John Hill and our founder, Lindsay Uittenbogaard, you’ll:
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If you’re an accredited team coach or facilitator, this is your opportunity to see if becoming a certified Mirror Mirror Team Alignment Practitioner is the right fit for you and your business.? Contact us to reserve your place at an Open Discovery Call in your timezone soon.
Experienced Organisation Change & Development Partner | Creating Impactful Collaborations | Team Coach & Facilitator | Diversity Advocate
3 周There is also a team dynamic at play here Lindsay. Teams that are too polite, too nice to each other or dominated by those with high levels of personal sensitivity are more likely to allow the rambling to go on rather than respectfully intervene and refocus the team and meeting.
Strategic Coach, Facilitator and Consultant
3 周I do worry that "this not that" thinking will mean that we will try to throw out meetings rather than recognise when they are useful and how to make them valuable. So there tips are useful. I would like to add 3 sources of material: I like this article https://sloanreview.mit.edu/article/hard-truths-about-the-meeting-after-the-meeting/ that not only describes how to hold an effective meeting, but also acknowledges the things that we are in control of the help with what I might call "the twilight zone" where action really happens. How do we help to ensure that the talk outside of the meeting is productive. I also like the wisdom in "Moments of Impact" by Chris Ertel and Lisa Kay Solomon that says meetings should be about information gathering OR finding options OR making decisions. But not more than one of these topics. And finally I love the work of Nancy Klein and others who talk about how we can really ensure different voices are heard in meetings.
Founder at Mirror Mirror? - Actionable Insights, Tailored to Teams
3 周Zora Artis, GAICD IABC Fellow SCMP John Hill
Speaker | Executive Coach | Culture Curator & Creator| Change Strategist | University Sessional Faculty
3 周Three steps that had been identified early in my career as a consultant and advisor, that proved also helpful in conflict resolution, and coaching: 1. Meet. 2. Align. 3. Raise. A process like Mirror Mirror’s can me invaluable in moving forward with these steps.