Three quick hacks to stop you feeling self-conscious online

By now, many of us are feeling like old hands at communicating in a virtual environment. In fact, we’re spending much of our life these days on Zoom, Teams, Skype or a similar platform.

But just as many are still feeling less than comfortable about their online presentation skills. It stands to reason; general fear of public speaking is still rampant, so being under the microscopic gaze of a camera will only intensify the situation.

European Business Review recently observed that “while video conference calls are extremely convenient and beneficial, they can be completely disastrous” for some participants. Ouch!

If virtual stage fright is holding you back from communicating with confidence, credibility and influence, these quick tips might help.

Tip 1: Focus outwards and make it all about them.

Back in the days when we could travel, I presented to some very high-flying government officials in Malaysia. I had been brought over as an expert on crisis communication. There I was, in the middle of my presentation, when suddenly my old imposter-voice started whispering in my ear. I began doubting my ability to give any value; next thing I was convinced they were all questioning why someone from Australia had been brought over to teach them about communication.

If this is a common experience for you, here's a technique that helps. In that moment of silent self-doubt, I very deliberately cast my focus onto the audience. I deliberately looked at one or two of the people in front of me and thought to myself, "What can I say right now that's going to help them most? What do they need from me at this moment?"

It’s a strange process because you’re having one conversation in your mind, while at the same time different words are coming out of your mouth. It works well though, because it’s impossible to be self-conscious while you’re focused on others. Straight away I was back in the zone. I forgot my own insecurities and was 100% committed to giving the audience the value they deserved.

You can replicate this in an online environment, even if you can’t see everyone in the virtual room. I encourage you to look straight at the camera, in whatever form that might be, and imagine one or two of the people you’re speaking with. Focus on what they need from you and make a commitment to delivering that. In that second, you’ll no longer be thinking about yourself or any doubts about your ability.

Tip 2: Breathe.

You can't get much more basic - yet in my experience it’s an underrated piece of advice.

Any time you need to communicate with credibility and influence, make sure you’re breathing low, deep into your abdomen. Practise by putting one hand on your stomach and the other on your chest and takes some deep breaths in and out. Notice which hand is moving more. There should be little or no movement coming from the hand on your chest, while the hand on your stomach should be moving out and in as you breathe. Long, nourishing breaths like this will help to keep your voice steady and your tone confident.

If you feel your nerves kicking in during a meeting and notice you’re taking shallow breaths up in your chest, switch your focus down to your stomach once again. If you're online, you can even put a sneaky hand on your stomach - they won't know!

Another benefit of presenting virtually is that you can use notes, as long as you're subtle about it. If I use a few memory-joggers, the first comment I write across the top of the page is “BREATHE”. Having that reminder in front of you can make the world of difference in those difficult moments.

Tip 3: Rehearse and warm up.

Another undervalued element of any confident communication experience is preparation.

You’re unlikely to be at your best if you try to wing it. Whether it’s an important conversation, presenting to a meeting or speaking at a larger virtual event, make sure you allocate time in the days and weeks leading up to it, to rehearse your words out loud.

Ideally, practise in front of a mirror or record yourself, so you reduce the surprise of being in an on-camera environment.

In the hour beforehand, sit and breathe deeply and do some vocal warm-ups by making some of your comments aloud. Relax your body and focus only on the job in front of you and the outcome you want to achieve.

I can't tell you how many clients I've worked with who surprise everyone, including themselves, by how well they deliver after applying these techniques.

Give them a go, whether you’re presenting online or in person.

Dr Neryl East is a professional speaker and facilitator who shows current and future leaders how to be heard, stand out and command influence. Connect with her:https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/neryleast/