Three Powerful C Words for Personal Growth

We are our own worst enemies!

How often have you heard that line or said this to yourself? But what does it mean to be your own 'worst enemy'? Maybe a better word to use is an adversary. We are our adversaries. It doesn't have quite the same ring to it…

Either way, we often get in our way, but why? What do we do about it?

"What is in the way is the way."

?Who we are, what we can do, and how we want to be all influence how we show up differently for ourselves and others. Who we are is our character, which includes integrity and intent. What we can do is our competence, which is made up of our capability and the results we can achieve. How we want to be is about compassion. Compassion for ourselves and others. I learned a few years ago that what is in the way is the way, and by this, I mean that whatever it was I was avoiding or trying to sidestep, go around, or ignore was not going to go away until I faced it with courage and compassion based on the competence I have and who I want to be, my character. That was a big lesson, and I learned very quickly that my level of emotional intelligence had a significant role to play.?

As leaders in business and life, our character, competence, and compassion all play out in different ways depending on the level of courage we have to show up and embrace the uncertainty that comes with letting go of control.

In his book ‘The Speed of Trust’, Stephen M.R. Covey outlines that courage is a part of our integrity, our ability to embrace humility and honesty with ourselves and others to be congruent with the values and standards we set for ourselves. If we cannot be true to ourselves, how can we be true to others?

Our level of emotional intelligence will influence our actions to be the best leader we can be, have the best business we can and live our best life.

When we are clear on our character, willing to learn and grow our competency and trust ourselves enough to show compassion, we will develop the courage to let go of the certainty and control we so badly think we need. When this happens, we can be more in balance with embracing uncertainty and all the possibilities that allow life to be great. This takes energy; where energy flows, the focus goes, and actions show.

"The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves, inside our circle of influence, our own character" Stephen R. Covey.

We all have a circle of influence and a circle of concern. Our circle of influence is a proactive focus, and our circle of concern is a reactive focus. When we focus on circumstances that we can do something about, our energy is positive and magnifying, inspiring us to achieve more and be the best versions of ourselves that we aspire to be.

When we focus on circumstances we have no control over, our energy is negative and can cause neglect of areas we can influence.? Putting energy into something that does not achieve your desired results is tiring. It starts with how we build the relationship with ourselves, which is influenced by our level of emotional intelligence. "The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves, inside our circle of influence, our own character" Stephan R. Covey.?

Life is beyond our control. We cannot control the results we will achieve in business, relationships, weather, economy, teams, or children. What we can do is decide how to inspire, influence and respond. The outcomes we achieve are unique reflections of our actions. Our actions show our focus, which aligns with where our energy flows. When we can inspire possibilities within ourselves to be the best leader we can be, we will be motivated to work more within our circle of influence and achieve more significant outcomes, even without control.

Focus on these three areas to inspire possibilities within yourself.

?Focus Area One - Character.

Who you are and the type of person you want to be is within your control, within your circle of influence. You may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond to what happens to you. Your integrity, courage, humility, intentions, and behaviours influence the type of person you can be.

Focus Area Two - Competence

We are either green and growing or ripe and rotting. To build competence requires us to be constantly learning. Living is a lifelong lesson, so the more effort you put into learning, the greater the capability, knowledge, experience, credibility, and results you can achieve.

Focus Area Three - Compassion

Understanding others and being willing to help are linked to the core need to make a contribution that we all have. Be ready to understand other people's viewpoints without necessarily needing to agree with them. Have respect for varied perspectives and understand that two people can disagree and both can be right.?

We can inspire and influence others when we can inspire possibilities within ourselves. This is what being a great leader is all about. Leading ourselves and others to be the best we can be and understanding what we can control in our circle of influence is a powerful way to learn and grow throughout life.

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