Three Phrases That Have Saved My Life

As we go into another hard Lockdown, here in the UK, I can't help but think of those worst affected by it and wonder, "When will this madness end?"

For many, this Lockdown will be one too many and, as they crumble, they'll choose the most terrible choice anyone can possibly make - to end their own lives.

And if you find yourself in that dark place, contemplating how you'll go through with it, how you'll accomplish you goal to end your life; if you're thinking it is the only way out, the only way to bring you relief from the pain and anguish you presently feel, then let me tell you, I know exactly how you feel, because I've been through it. Not just once, but several times. And the nearest I got was only 11 months ago.

But I am so grateful that I stopped before it was too late. Where I am at in my life right now - despite the shit that's happening in the world around us - is the best place I've ever been. And, even though I'm hating the world's current dire straits as much as everyone else, I have never felt so able to get through such a crisis as I do now. And I know that you will get through it too, if you will choose to. And I'll give you three reasons why I know this to be so.

Hope

Hope is such an over-used and under-valued word, I feel. While some others may dismiss it as a pipe dream or some kind of airy-fairy thing, hope is the thing that has kept me alive the most. And I believe that it can strengthen you to, as it has me.

You see, for me, real hope is having that strong conviction - that inner knowing - that there is so much more, something of such greater joy and benefit and value just waiting on the other side of what you are currently feeling. And it is not just something to dismiss in disbelief. Because nothing lasts forever - especially not the source of your pain and anguish. Everything comes to pass. Even the worst storm will always pass. And, what's on the other side is always something of better, greater value. I have always found that my darkest moments are followed by something so much sweeter; I'm glad I pushed through.

This Is Character Building

I have come to firmly believe that every challenge; every storm; every dark moment is sent to guide us to our truest, best selves.

I think it was Napoleon Hill who said or wrote, "Out of every adversity comes the seed of an equal or greater blessing," or words to that effect. And this is so true.

I have come to see each adversity like being in a white water rafting race. If you can just imagine yourself, for but a moment, entering such a competition. (Please go with me on this.)

There you are, on your raft, rowing down the river. At first, the waters are pretty okay. But, as you approach the bend, you can hear the sound of the waters in turmoil. You see small branches and other debris in the water bobbing frantically, as they're pulled with great force toward the rapids you're moving towards.

As you get closer and closer to the bend in the river, you feel your raft bobbing up and down with ever-increasing vigour. The sound of the tumultuous waters gets louder and louder. And then you go around the bend in the river and see the rapids. The water is frothing and foaming; as your raft is pulled into the swirling torrents. You feel yourself being thrown about and, as you dodge the great boulders and tree trunks in the water, the fear grips you and you begin to doubt whether you'll survive the adversity you now find yourself in. It seems never-ending; there just is no end in sight!

But, then you come to the end of the torrent and find yourself in the calm waters again. And, as you look back and see the white water rapids you've just been through, you get to realising, "I survived that!" And you're so much stronger for it.

You see, every time you choose to dig deep - often deeper than you've ever imagined you'd have to - to stay alive and weather the storm, it always makes you a stronger person. And it gives you rewards that you could never have imagined.

What If I Miss The Best Bits?

Have you ever been watching a movie at the cinema and, having drunk too much cola, you find yourself just dying for the loo, but you don't want to get up and leave the auditorium in case you miss the best bit of the movie? It can be sheer agony, right?

And that is how I have learned to look at adversity. It's a sure bet that if you were to get up and leave life's auditorium - to check out - you will miss the best bits of your own life's movie. And it's a thought that has kept me alive on more than one occasion, when I felt I didn't have any more fight left in me. "What if I end it, just when the best part of my life is about to come to me?"

"What if ending it now causes you to miss the best part of your life?" And, I know, this brings us back to hope. Hope is everything worth holding on for, I believe.

This Is Why You Need To Stay Alive

When I look back on my most recent - and worst - suicidal moment, 11 months ago, when I was all ready to end my life and it felt so very right, it seemed like the only way out. But then I consider where I am now. And I am filled with so much gratitude that I stopped when I did.

My past year has thrown at me the toughest challenges I have ever faced. It genuinely was the worst year of my life. But I survived to tell the tale. I became stronger in the process. I found my life's purpose and, right now, I feel freer than I have ever felt - even though our country is in Lockdown. I am in a stronger position than I ever was, and I'm building for a future way beyond the current COVID crisis.

And you can too. It's your choice, I know. But I also firmly believe that if you choose not to push forward, with all the strength, courage and determination you can muster, you will miss the most beautiful part of your journey. This is as true a reality for me as it is for you.