Three Not-So-Bad Things on Aging and Longevity

It’s Global Loneliness Awareness Week, so an appropriate moment to take stock of the loneliness crisis in the US.?The Surgeon General’s Advisory on Loneliness?lays out the devastating impact of loneliness and social isolation, an epidemic that is growing in impact year after year. The Surgeon General likened the impact of loneliness as the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day, but even at its deepest market penetration, smoking touched fewer people than the loneliness crisis.

It is tempting to think of the loneliness crisis as a product of the COVID epidemic and to hope it will sort itself out post-COVID but?even before the pandemic, fully half of American adults reported measurable levels of personal loneliness. And it is not easy to see the resolution to this type of crisis. The UK has appointed a Minister of Loneliness to address its crisis, and while it is appropriate to provide that level of visibility to the problem, it is harder to discern the impact. The challenge is that the crisis of loneliness is both an enormous systemic issue and one that is at the same time inherently personal and private.??

But we are all about solutions here at TNSB, so today we highlight three efforts to address this crisis. None of them by themselves will likely take a big bite out of the problem, but they do inspire and motivate in meaningful ways.

1. Grab a seat, make a friend.

It’s a common urban scene, strangers sitting on buses or on benches, trying very hard to pretend that the person six inches over doesn’t exist. If you want to take it that far, the city bench is a metaphor for urban loneliness: we are crowded together but still very much apart.??

But there is a movement to change that. “Happy to Chat Benches”?started in the UK?and are now spreading to many other countries. They are specially designed, often brightly marked, benches that encourage the people sitting next to each other to engage with one another—whether that be superficial chit chat or something deeper—anything to help reduce the sense of isolation and loneliness that can be felt in the biggest crowds.?

There are numerous variations on the theme. In Zimbabwe, they are called?Friendship Benches, and they provide a structured approach to interactions, including a designed talk therapy?program to help people through the challenges of isolation and loneliness. The Friendship Bench model has spread to Malawi, Kenya, Zanzibar and New York City.??

There are also specific efforts to make Happy to Chat Benches available to help senior citizens, perhaps out of a desire to tackle social isolation among the elderly, perhaps out of a desire to provide more places for them to rest, or more likely some efficient merging of the two. A group called Seniors Taking Action is working to bring them to NYC, and if you look hard enough, you’ll find similar initiatives in lots of different North American cities.

Perhaps these benches won’t create lasting relationships, but even casual encounters can reduce the sense of loneliness and help improve mental and even physical health.

2. Grab a pew, make a friend.

Religious participation in the United States has been in decline for decades. In 2020, only 47% of Americans said that they were affiliated with a religious institution,?down all the way?from 70% in 1999. And according to some estimates, 30% of US religious congregations are not going to survive the next 20 years.

You don’t have to be a deacon of your church to see the connection between the decline in religiosity and the loneliness pandemic. For centuries, houses of worship have been the center of communities and friend-making, and a source of material and social support during times of ill-health and economic distress. We can spend endless pages discussing the failures of religious institutions in the US, but suffice it to say—as Robert Putnam did 25 years ago—that nothing has effectively replaced the church as a means of social connection in American life.

But some are trying to fill the vacuum. An organization called?The Nearness?provides eight-week courses in spirituality and self-inquiry, organized around weekly small group gatherings to explore religious traditions and spiritual values. The core of the offering is weekly gatherings of five or six fellow students to find and build connections, with oneself and with each other. Similarly, the?New Wine Collective?seeks to empower people to create their own spiritual communities through online platforms. Ultimately, the Collective’s goal is to create both virtual faith communities and micro local groups (five to 25 people) that meet regularly for conversation, connection and mutual support.?

Here at TNSB, we’re rather secular in orientation (our idea of a religious debate is arguing over whether?Die Hard?is a Christmas movie or not. Hint: the correct answer is yes) but we know a credible attempt to battle loneliness and loss of social capital when we see it. And we hope that it can fill some of the yawning gap created by the decline in religious observance in this country.

3. Grab a keyboard, make a friend.

We have tended, in recent years, to think of technologies as a handmaiden of loneliness and isolation, as more and more people spend time with their phones and less and less time with other people. But the situation is more nuanced than that, in part because more and more innovators are using technologies to help socially isolated seniors connect with family and friends.??

Many of these efforts are focused on connecting generations.?Papa?and?Eldera?are two organizations that use interactive technology to foster mentorship and supportive relations between the generations, and?Generation Connect?connects teens with seniors for technology training and sharing. And even older organizations like?Dorot, which has supported intergenerational relationships since 1976, has developed programs to have younger people teach older adults about technology and how to use it to foster deeper connections in the virtual world.

The next frontier is virtual reality and its ability to transport house-bound seniors (and others) to new worlds and new interactions. Companies like MyndVR are partnering with senior housing and care facilities to use VR technologies as part of a therapeutic plan, but also as a way to reduce loneliness and isolation. VR can be used to connect with others or to help physically limited seniors feel like they can participate in events or travel. VR has a bit of a way to go in terms of accessibility and user friendliness but research has shown that, if used right, it can help address loneliness and isolation.