Three Lessons that Guide Leaders in the Right Direction

There are certain leadership lessons in life that become your compass. That compass then guides you, reassuring you that you're moving in the right direction even if you can't see over the next hill.  

I was fortunate to receive three of my most important leadership lessons before I ever took on a formal role as a leader, and they have guided me ever since. Of course, I have learned many other things along the way, but I've always felt that these three served as the foundation of my leadership philosophy, and I learned the first as an 18-year old getting ready to ship off to the Air Force Academy.

I was spending time with my grandfather just days before in-processing for basic training. We were talking about a number of different things before he turned the discussion to a more serious subject: the path I was about to embark upon to become a leader in the military. Having served 30 years as an enlisted member in the Army, my grandfather had wisdom he wanted to impart. I'll never forget what this former Command Sergeant Major and veteran of three wars told me:

"Don't worry so much about what the officers think--they'll always have plenty to say to you. Instead, take the time to listen to your NCOs."

For those who aren't in the military, he was was really saying this: listen to your employees and really heed their feedback. After all, a boss will call you up or come see you to give direction, but it isn't the same for your employees. As a leader, you need to make a conscious effort to seek their advice and to heed it. 

That always stuck with me, even today, but at the time I learned this, there was a problem: as an Air Force Academy cadet, I wouldn't be around many enlisted service-members. For all of their merits as leadership laboratories, the biggest fault of the military academies is that their cadets and midshipmen have too little interaction with soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen. Fortunately, there was a summer program that would give me a rare opportunity to pursue it.

In between my sophomore and junior years, I traveled on a program called "Ops Air Force," which sends cadets to operational Air Force bases to learn about different career fields and to gain exposure to the real military. I took it as a chance to follow my grandfather's advice and to listen to the Air Force's enlisted members.

Whenever I had the opportunity during that trip, I sat down with individual airmen and NCOs, got to know their stories, and asked them all this same question: "Think back to all of the best leaders you've known--what did they do that made them the best?"

I can't remember what I was expecting them to say, but I do recall being surprised at the answers, especially how consistent they were across the board. The one that most people said was this:

"They knew my name. They asked me about my family."

That struck me. Of all the answers they could have given, this was it, and it was by far the most consistent response. But once my surprise faded, I realized what they were really saying: "The best leaders cared enough to know me." 

What a low threshold that is for leaders, and yet, so many forget about it. Most of us buy into Simon Sinek's principle of "start with why," and I extend that to making your employees understand the "why me?" To be a true leader, you must recognize the value of every member of your organization and ensure that each person understands that you value them. That begins with the simplest gesture of simply knowing who they are.

The second most common response I received was this:

"The best leaders made decisions. They weren't always the right decisions, but we can work around a bad decision."

What a wonderful confidence booster this was. What these airmen were telling me was this: they want leaders to lead, but they don't expect perfection.  That doesn't give license to leaders to shoot from the hip and consistently make bad decisions, but it does mean that even if you stumble, your employees will be there to pick you up and keep the mission going. 

Taken in aggregate, these three leadership lessons taught me this: people want leaders who listen, leaders who care, and leaders who lead. They told me to prioritize my employees and to learn from them. They taught me how to show I care: start by learning their names and asking about their life outside of work to get to know who they are and what makes them tick. They urged me to be decisive and reassured me that it was okay to fail--that I could trust them to be there to pick me up and to keep the mission going.

I am ever-grateful for these leadership lessons, because I believe they've underwritten any achievement I've enjoyed over the course of my career. My hope in sharing them now is that maybe these lessons can guide you towards success in yours.