Three Lessons that Changed My Life

Number One: The Power of Your Own Humility

When I first moved to Boston it was around 2005 and I was just about to turn 21 in the new year.? I was both excited and scared about a different coast. I had spent most of my youth growing up in a coastal surf town just south of San Francisco but had been used to the idea of moving around from attending three different high schools around the country.? Change from a young age was intriguing as I could explore and learn about new places. At the same time, my whole family had decided that we wanted to be closer to our relatives.? My grandfather had passed away a few years prior and my grandmother had been getting sickly from old age. We felt it was good to be around her and all our relatives in the remaining years of her life. I had lost a big part of me. Leaving all and who that I knew was really hard but I understood that all I needed was to have lots of optimism and be my friendly self so life could find new people in this new place.? Well, it did bring many great friendships into my life but not the amount I really expected. I would fill in the extra time to find interest in things that excited me to stay motivated and continue what I was doing.?

There has been one person that has affected my life more than any other. My good friend Sam. He is known to most as a world-renowned social entrepreneur and activist for his inspiring storytelling abilities and selfless acts of kindness. He helped give me a balanced perspective and I’ve really learned a lot from him.? Many of which are ways to stand back and take a look at the reflection of myself and how I could be a better person. One of the biggest lessons he taught me was the importance of humility and what it really means.? It got me thinking about all the talented and driven people around me I see every day and I really began to understand that we all show the best of ourselves in different ways. It became evident that I couldn't possibly do the kinds of things I wanted to do on my own unless I focused on ways to improve upon myself first. I narrowed my skills and turn to my peers for help where I needed it and slowly started to see things improve.

The next level of humility I experienced was the feeling of rejection. I am not talking about a date that went south or a job that didn’t work out.? I mean the ultimate feeling of I am not good enough.? Not really knowing what I had done wrong but experiencing the same feeling over and over and over again.? It put me in a bad place where I would question everything and try to mold myself into what I thought would be acceptable in society. Ultimately all it did was make me more miserable and I would beat myself up to lose the confidence I worked so hard to build up in the first place. In life many things are true like what goes around comes around and you’re never going to please everyone so don't even try.? What's also true is one's willingness to succeed comes from a direct result of their lack of satisfaction.? I had given up trying to go do something for somebody else and instead studied the things I enjoyed in my own way.? It was hard for a long time. I mean like a decade of working constantly with no pay and not having peers in my work world.? I was alone.

As I grew older and consider myself a little wiser, it was the understanding of my shortcomings that allowed me to improve upon the things I didn’t like about myself.? This meant getting back into my active self being in shape again and riding my Ripley around the city every day.? It also meant being a better person in general by going out of my way to try and put a smile on someone's face just because I felt guilty they were having a bad day.? It eventually got to a point where I no longer had to put any effort into these new routines.? I then started thinking about balancing these acts in a way that benefited me all the time.? I finally realized I was growing up and finding peace with myself. The old Nate was coming back again and I felt a part of me that I worried was lost. Fast forward to the past few years and the pandemic hit. I knew exactly how to handle it because I had been enduring something similar for so long and was getting into another chapter of my journey.? Let’s be real though...life and learning who we are is always in motion. Our interests change and we grow in and out of new things.? You need to stay agile and roll with the punches.

I think the ultimate satisfaction of self-gratification was when I learned the very old Japanese analogy of Ikigai.? It allowed me to compare and contrast the things that would help balance out my well-being.? Once I started to continually analyze these factors it became essential to my everyday life.? From friends to my family I had an understanding of the world around me and I started feeling good about things that I had suppressed for a long time. Anyone can do the exact same thing. Just keep telling yourself it will get better.??So after all this time in Boston, I was accepting the life I had chosen knowing that it was mine to choose, not the other way around.? I was able to observe the good, the bad, and the ugly in my world to focus on the parts I wanted to maintain for a well-balanced outlook on everything.?Since then I have made it one of my goals to instill these same values in anyone who shares similar doubts or fear of the consequences of their actions.? Just believing in myself that the moves I'd make would all have a positive outcome if I was willing to fight for them. Don't assume life will get better if you can't appreciate what it has to offer.

Number Two: Respect for Fellow Mankind

I was really a fortunate kid to have a dad in the industry that he was in.? As I got older he would bring me on trips around the world while he did business.? All in which we got to explore parts of Europe and Asia.? One of the biggest adventures in my life was when I was invited to join him on a trip to Beijing, China.? He was selling a software utility that derives from rocketry and nuclear energy. Really cool stuff. We were starting to deploy systems like this in countries to align with the world stage of sustainability and global issues still in effect today. The opportunity was a really good thing because it help reflect a better relationship between two major countries and created equal opportunity for growth and development in the regions that needed it most.??

What made the trip extraordinary for me was not necessarily just The Great Wall and Tiananmen Square. There was so much to see in the capital city that as a whole, I’d say just go there for yourself and appreciate their culture, the welcoming people, and the experience of it all.? My dad had been working with a young entrepreneurial businessman probably about my age now, maybe a little older.? His name was Gong. He was kind of the middle man between my father and our host and acted as a local guide. All in which he excelled in all aspects.? At the end of the first day, he felt like my friend instead of a business-oriented person. The next morning we were due to meet up with a representative from the Chinese government.? In which it ended up being the granddaughter of a high-ranking official. She and my new buddy Gong were a part of the private energy sector looking to innovate and improve upon the safety standard in which these plants could operate more efficiently. She showed up in this very elegant, Chinese garment.? You know the ones that are covered in flower arrangements, made of silk, and very traditional for celebratory occasions. She had even gone all out and had the white blush facial makeup you see in their culture. I was awed in the moment of her presence as I knew then I was experiencing something more beautiful than a young woman celebrating her heritage.? It became to be a blessing from their culture and truly made me cherish the privilege of being there in the first place.??

The day would then continue to go on as we ate food and just hung out in this local hot spot.? I can't remember the name but it was around this small body of water that was filled with restaurants, bars, and venues.? Definitely, a trendy hangout location in which my new friends were just now filling me in on where we were going to check out after all the business. A little time later my dad successfully made the deal then we celebrated as expected. After a few days of this new lifestyle experience and adventure, it was time to go home.? At the end of the trip right before our flight, I had become such great buddies with Gong that he insisted I come back and visit by myself someday.? He would put me up in his home under a roof with his wife and their kid.? I now had a new friend in a faraway place that offered me a couch to crash on... In China! It was unreal because the country had been so foreign to me a few days prior.??

So what is the point of the gratitude for my newfound friendships?? Sadly just a few years ago I found out Gong had died and at a really young age too. There was no knowledge of what happened as the news came from another friend of my dad who was a mutual acquaintance to them both.? I like to believe that Gong passed away with some respect for entrepreneurial drive and the freedom it instills.? He seemed like a direct reflection of whom I believe I had chosen to be and I interpret his hospitality as a sign of like-minded spirit. I didn't understand then as I do now the challenges he must have faced. At the end of the day, all he wanted to do was give his family a better future and make a difference in his world. It was truly an honor having him in my life for the short time I did.?

When I remember my trip to Beijing I don’t really think about the sites nor the spectacles.?It was more about the common perspective of humanity this guy had given me. Since that day I developed a huge respect for people and their different cultures from all over. I realized that subtle differences don't define us as individuals but instead highlight what makes us uniquely special and one of a kind. When I hear about politics regarding these places I tell myself that’s not what makes me pass judgment upon a country or culture.? Just because some places choose to govern in a different manner doesn't give me a right to attack its people if it was based on things they couldn't control. China is such a big part of our world's influences and economy. I really hope the two powers find a way to make peace. I know that’s what he and I would have wanted to see.? Gong died representing his nation in its most spectacular form and I will defend his integrity to my country and the entire world.

Number Three: The Essence of One's Existence

I am going to change things up and reflect on what it means to me when it comes to my patriotism for this country as an American entrepreneur.? My entire youth up until now I thought the whole meaning behind success and validation from my peers was determined by some kind of status to achieve and a numerical value in your bank account. Do you want to know something? It most certainly is not! When I start to look back at our nation's history it takes me further and further into moments of time like the invention of electricity from our forefathers and all renditions of technology, innovation, and society since then.? I then start observing the actions of the people who help pave a part in inheriting the next generation of responsibility in continuing that story. It then becomes clear to me the value in one's own existence is not what they do at that moment but more or less the things they leave behind. For me personally, it's individuals like Steve Jobs or Walt Disney that left a permanent mark on how we should view the world. And just like that, it all becomes clear that I was concerning myself with the wrong priorities.?The continuous flow of creativity and exploring new possibilities is what defines you as an individual.?

In the mid-90s when computers and the internet were first introduced I was only a young kid so don't ask me what it was really like to create it. I get a lot of information from what I read, see, and hear from my peers whom I respect from their wisdom and goodwill to instill the right values into my tiny little existence.? However, I do know how many people it took and the part every individual played to have a vital role in the success of its creation. In my mind, any person who was there would tell you how revolutionary it was and the excitement they would get to see the flash of light on a circuit board or a tone on the other end of the phone.? These may be novelties to you and me but at the time it was anything but.?

We all know the faces of brands we use and see but tend to forget the number of people it took to get there.? Innovation and the willingness to create isn’t about individuals.? It’s not about I win, you lose. Sorry, try again next time.? Innovation is a right of passage as a being of its existence. What we clearly see happening now is the next generation of willing able bodies to continue writing our book. I am not dismissing the concern that society has for their rights and that we need policies in place that we can all agree on. You will never hear me bad mouth a world leader for two reasons. One - I don’t believe it’s fair to pass judgment upon others without living a day in their shoes. Two - I have the ultimate respect for founders as a whole. Period. The narrative I heard last Thursday was a direct reflection of my very own perspective on a future I'd like to help create. The fact that anyone is willing to pour epic amounts of resources into research and development is a testament to them as a leader and the times we are currently in.? It also means more opportunities for the future who will inherit the next generation of challenges along with responsibilities. This is not a bad thing. It's a good thing.? We want young people to be excited for what tomorrow brings and how they can play a part as a single individual in the overall system.??

At the end of the day, people do have a right to be concerned about tools that can influence perspective to the advantage of ignorance and its users. Unfortunately, I feel there will always be scenarios where everyday people prey on the weak but I don’t think it's fair to lay blame on the tools nor their creators. Those people who choose to perform these acts of negligence will act the same whether it's on the internet or in person.? Violence and hatred in our society can never be accepted so I would ask that we all focus energy on stopping that instead. Also, let's have a better understanding together of what's realistic to come in the upcoming years regarding the boundaries of mankind somewhere else in the universe.? It's an enormous thing to comprehend yet is actually practical.? So why are we led to believe that maintaining a life outside of the bounds of our evolution is any more realistic than virtualizing an alternate one for the betterment of our time?? They actually go hand and hand and would compliment each other as a way of bringing people together who are literally millions of miles away. Someday your children or maybe your children's, children will venture off into the unknown living a future existence somewhere else.?If there was some way we could close that gap and feel like they’re not really gone. Wouldn’t we do it?? Wouldn’t we want the next best thing from the real thing? I know I would.

My final verdict is that we all are guilty in times of being selfish and wanting a better tomorrow for ourselves and those that we care about.? We need to make sure whatever comes forth sheds a positive light on lives around us not just ourselves. If that means we have to make things like data collection a personal preference I believe that is more than fair. If you're not into it, no biggie. No one will be forced to live a virtual alternative to their own reality.? If done properly both can cohesively exist with an outcome that brings more joy, excitement, and progression for the world(s) we will live in tomorrow.? It’s up to each and every one of us to do our part in whatever that means while respecting our fellow man and their differences as human beings living the lives they want to live. A better tomorrow means appreciating the little things about one another and the aspects that make us unique. I believe this is the defining principle that makes us who we are as a human race. So please have an opinion but respect your peers and make the most out of your time on this earth.?

This is part of my story and I know every one of you has a story to share too. It's important to remember that stories can only be told if you are willing to write them first. But when you do... you will be glad that you did. ???