The three keys to personal development
Michael de la Maza, PhD
Data Scientist | Professor of Business Analytics and Machine Learning @ Hult | Amazon Bestselling Author | Angel Investor | Machine Learning PhD | Long Jumper
There are only three keys to personal development:
- Know yourself
- Be yourself
- Avoid distractions
The entire personal development literature can be classified into one of these three steps. Brenee Brown? Mostly "know yourself." Tony Robbins? Mostly "be yourself." Tim Ferriss? Mostly "avoid distractions."
Know yourself
Start by knowing:
- Your thoughts
- Your feelings
- Your desires
We live in a blizzard of lies. That makes it difficult to know ourselves. Examples include:
- When someone asks us how we are doing, we say "good" no matter what.
- When we apply for a job we tell the employer that we are a perfect fit.
- We smile when we are sad.
We may not believe these lies but we are lost in them. The work here is to find the truth.
Be yourself
The next step is to live the truth. Sound easy? It's not. This is what the "whole self" movement is about: creating the freedom to drop the masks.
Let's say you stop writing fawning letters to potential employers because you want to be yourself. This might reduce your job opportunities and your income. And so you may choose to continue to wear a mask.
This step is not so much a turning off of the fake as it is a turning up of what brings you joy. As Woody Zuill says, "Amplify the good."
Avoid distractions
The final step is the easiest but the most deceptive.
Here is the typical workweek for many people. See if it rings true for you.
- Wake up irritated and exhausted.
- Drag yourself through the workday at a place you detest.
- Go back home, collapse in front of the TV, and either watch Lifetime movies and eat ice cream or watch sports and drink beer.
That is all distraction from knowing yourself and being yourself.
So there you have it. All of personal development can be boiled down into these three steps.
Organizational Development | Project Management | Communications
5 年I wonder whether there’s a need to also emphasize accepting others beyond face values, as part of personal development. Letting go of prejudice often does wonders to one’s own development, and prepares a social ambiance where individuals can safely *be themselves* without being marginalized.? I’d be interested in your take on this.
Deep stuff. Deceptively simple in its presentation.