Three ideas on how to build community and grow your network

A friend of mine recently told me I’m good at building community. I was flattered but I’ll admit I wasn’t surprised by the compliment, as my husband likes to joke that I’m Max Fischer from Rushmore (always creating clubs). However, I realized that community building is a skill I’ve taken for granted—and its origins are in understanding how groups are structured and operate.?

I started my 10,000 hours in middle school when I participated in the student council. In high school, I was the secretary (and only non-adult) of a group that managed our neighborhood’s club. In college, I served as a member of the Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance. In my 20s, I served as a Peace Corps Volunteer. And in my 30s, I started serving on nonprofit boards. Nobody forced me to do these things and some people thought they were distractions from my studies and my career. What I didn’t realize decades ago was that in addition to these experiences teaching me invaluable leadership skills, they helped build my confidence and grow my network quickly.?

Over the years, folks have asked me how to meet people and get involved in their community. I’ve gathered three ideas from my own life that I hope inspire you to form a group that might change your life.?

Create a social group centered around a specific activity

My last year of college was when I met over 50 people and got in amazing shape, thanks to co-founding a social cycling group, Las Mu?equitas de la Muerte (The Little Dolls of Death). It started after my friends and I joined the Sprocket Zombies, a group of bike-jousting guys who built “monster bikes,” on a pitiful one-mile bike ride that ended at a bar. My friend Franny yelled, “We’re starting our bike gang.” A few days later, a group of four or five of us brainstormed what the group would be. We all came up with clever nicknames and agreed to ride every Thursday evening and Sunday morning. I also invited these friends over for a flyer-making party and posted them around campus.?

The first ride brought out a dozen people. The next ride was double the size. And after just a few weeks, we were up to nearly 50 people—including the Sprocket Zombies. I created the routes and managed the group’s social media presence, sharing recaps after the ride. We also made things fun by encouraging folks to dress up in wacky outfits on holidays; and hosting a bike repair workshop and charity events that benefited a women’s shelter, including a benefit concert and a film screening. According to our campus newspaper, we were a "party on wheels."

When I graduated, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the group not only continued but became more organized. Two years later, I realized that the experience of leading the group helped me get into the Peace Corps; and serving in the Peace Corps helped me get my grad school fellowship—and going to grad school was where I met the friend who helped me get my current job.?

How to start: Find a handful of people who share a similar interest in you. It can be running, listening to records, decoupaging, playing darts, watching romance movies, etc. Then, decide what your spin is going to be and who is going to be responsible for what. How can you keep things fun and sustainable? Can you find ways to empower others to take on aspects of planning? Once you’ve decided your cadence for your get-together, promote the group on Meetup, through forums, on social media, etc.?

Form a giving circle that benefits a nonprofit

If you want to back to the community and meet folks who care about philanthropy, let me suggest creating a giving circle.?

Back in 2015, I was invited to co-lead Girls Empowerment Network’s new giving circle, GENthusiast Society (now the Girls Advocacy League). The idea was simple: a staff member, Elaine, and I would organize four annual salons centered on women’s and girls' issues that were exclusive to members who donated $100 a year. We’d encourage these volunteers to collectively fundraise with us either in the spring or fall or recruit other members.?

We launched with a kick-off event. I invited my network and the nonprofit invited all of their volunteers and donors. We asked attendees to share their programming ideas with us in a suggestion box, and the following week Elaine and I went through every single piece of paper before coming up with a plan. What our members wanted was similar programming GIRLS offered its girls—just tailored for adults. By the end of the year, we had hosted eight events, recruited 150 members, and had a leadership team of eight. After two years, we were hosting monthly events—ranging from private tours of museums to group workouts to an annual GALentine’s Day party— and were raising over $20,000 for the organization. The experience was extremely gratifying.?

Serving as the leader of the GENthusiast Society opened a lot of doors. I was accepted to Leadership Austin, I was invited to join the GIRLS board, and I met some of the most incredible people in Austin. Also, I couldn’t walk down the street without having someone recognize me from my work with GIRLS.?

How to start: Find a nonprofit you want to support and reach out to the person leading development. Have a conversation about how to bring this concept to fruition with a volunteer-led committee or task force. Is there someone on staff who could be a liaison to the group? See if the organization would be interested in inviting its existing volunteer base to an informational kick-off event. Start small and begin recruiting others who can help with event planning, communications, and fundraising. Come up with an agreed-upon leadership handbook that details committee members’ roles and agree to meet regularly. The leaders and I used to gather every six months to do a SWOT analysis, which helped us decide which direction we wanted to focus our efforts.???

Reimagine the book club model

Years ago, a friend of mine started a very successful article club that met every other Tuesday. Instead of having to commit to reading an entire book, attendees only had to read a long-form article. What a concept! A rotating cast of characters would meet over beers at one of our go-to bars, and whenever we’d meet someone at a party or through friends that we wanted to get to know better, we’d invite them to join the group. The friend who started the group left town but the group is now on its third iteration. And I brought the idea with a different spin to El Paso.

When I moved El Paso nearly two years ago, I was hungry to meet friends. I thought Article Club could work here, but having just read The Art of Gathering, I knew putting a laser focus on the group’s purpose would attract like-minded folks. I came up with the El Paso Feminist Media Group, a group focused on consuming media—podcasts, videos, and articles—focused on women and girls. The only problem was I only knew three people. I made flyers (yes, I thought about la mu?equitas) and I told everyone I met, but what ultimately tipped the scales was starting an Instagram account and following people I thought might want to join the group.

The first meeting consisted of a new friend and one of the many random women I followed on Instagram. We had a good conversation but I was disappointed with the turnout. I thought I’d have at least half a dozen people show up. My new friends told me to keep going; they’d tell more people about the group. Sure enough, the group began to grow exponentially, thanks to word of mouth. I started a WhatsApp group for the three dozen folks who get a monthly calendar invite and it's taken on a life of its own. People ask the group questions ranging from, “Who is the best doctor in town?” to “Does anyone have a saw I can borrow?” During our first anniversary, we had 20 people show up for our biggest meeting ever, and now members are hosting and facilitating conversations based on topics they want to discuss.

I owe a lot of my friendships to this group, and others have told me it’s changed their experience living here. I’m grateful that they’ve been supportive and care about the club as much as I do. I’m also glad I was patient and gave the group the time it needed to establish itself.

How to start: Get specific about the type of content you want to discuss. Maybe it’s centered on romance, fashion, or artificial intelligence! Also, consider how much time it takes to consume the media. I try to make sure I’m not asking someone to do something that would exceed an hour. Another thing to think about is the size of your ideal group and your venue. If you’re just getting started, a public venue could work but once the group grows it’s more comfortable to host at someone’s house. You can also keep the group to under six people and have a great conversation over Zoom or Google Meet. Last but definitely not least, prevent awkward, err, incidents by establishing (or adopting) some healthy guidelines for the group and share them regularly. Trust me on this!

I know not everything has to be built from the ground up. There are plenty of clubs on Meetup, sports leagues organized by the city, and a plethora of committees and alumni associations looking for people to get involved. But if you’re not finding the group you want in your life, be courageous and manifest them. After all, you never know what doors they’ll open for you later in life.?