Three Human Gifts to Embrace when Our Reaction Hijacks Our Positive Intent.

 Many of us can recall events, conversations, and encounters where we wish we had behaved differently. We vividly remember our mind, body, and words spinning out of control. In that moment, we are often unable to harness our reaction or manage the chaos. Many of us can also remember being on the receiving side of anger, pain, frustration, blame. . . as well as shrinking in shame. We’re human. This happens to us all. . . and, yet very few of us are aware of the powerful grip that our “natural reaction” has have over our positive intentions.

Have you ever expressed—or heard someone say—“This is just who I am. I can’t help it.”

Could we accept that this is both true and not true?

So, when we—or anyone—says “this is just who I am,” we are acknowledging that we feel helpless to change our natural reactions, which are really habitual thinking and behaviors that come from our biology, our backstory, and environment.

Luckily, we are born with three human gifts can help us gain critical self-awareness and self-control to overcome our reactive tendencies.

·        Optimistic Bias endows us with hope that we can change and let go of past hurt and pain. We can forget and let go of past pain and issues and show up again, in hopes, of a different outcome.

·        Meta-Cognition is the human ability to think about thinking, to reflect upon who we are and why we do what we do. In doing so, we hope to gain psychological distance from our own self and begin to witness how we behave, show up, and engage in the world and with others.

·        Narrative Communication helps us express our current sense of reality and beliefs—often through sharing anecdotes and stories about what we’ve experienced. Understanding how and why we share particular stories allows us to begin authoring new stories and revising old ones for a better future.

Sure, we’re wired to react and blow up and feel frustration. However, these three human gifts provide a window for us to view the landscape of possibility. We can either shut the blinds or open the curtains to let in the light. Which do you choose?

#bridgethegap #relationshipsmatter #leadership #relationshipbuilding #listen #opencommunication #Howyoushowup #bepresent #humanskills #learninganddevelopment #becurious #bekind #emotionalintelligence

Authored by Jennifer Edwards and Katie McCleary, the writers of Bridge The Gap: Foster Meaningful Relationships at Work Using Curiosity and Open Communication, forthcoming spring 2022. Pre-order your copy at  https://amzn.to/2NARXMy. Learn more at www.howtobridgethegap.com