Three Fools in the Garden of Rocks

1. The First fool 

At that time, I was pushing for my graduate degree in Geology under an eccentric professor (that measured tint of madness that usually glows around a genius!). And soon joined another student under him, Hasan (real name withheld), who would work on a sister project in close cooperation with me. Our mission would be to visit the XX Company and log some core- data in order to decipher the depositional environment of those formations. We were both assigned to look at some Jurassic cores from different localities in the X Sea and integrate our interpretations with the big picture. Shortly after our first meeting, I tried to seek out Hasan and make an appointment to visit the Oil Company together, at least for the first time. But Hasan was nowhere to be found -neither in the department, nor in the hostel (and at that time, we did not have mobile phones). As I started to get mildly worried, he showed up one morning at the door of our professor with a big smile and a thick notebook. As it appeared, my good friend Hasan was probably way too passionate and excited to wait for me before jumping into action. ‘I was in XX Company and have already finished the first phase of logging' -he announced with an air of triumph.  

'And, how did it go Sir?' -asked my professor with his usual tone of sarcasm. 

 'Pretty well indeed! I documented all the features, well most of it…you see…only there are some small things I could not identify...for example, these… now what are these?’  

As my professor and I put our nose to his drawings, we saw some black specks diligently darkened by an HB4 at a certain interval of description.  

'So, what are these?' -repeated Hasan.  

Needless to say, my professor appeared completely flabbergasted. 'What do you mean what are these? How the hell do I know what they are- how could you draw something without knowing what it was... you draw some crappy f****** spots and ask me to tell you what they are? What kind of a joke... let me see what the hell you have done with the rest of your logging, Herr Professor Hasan...' -our boss opened his door of purgatory. 

 Hasan came out with me from the office completely crestfallen and more confused than embarrassed. Later, he confided in me that our professor was probably no good. Otherwise, why would he not be able to tell him what those black specs were? Had he not meticulously documented all the details of the rock samples as he saw them, sparing not even the smallest specks of 'things'? 

2. The Second Fool 

Now, it is quite unfair to my colleague and a bad taste on my part to have fun at the expense of his simplicity, particularly since I was not able to seek any permission from him to put it in this story. So, while I could not forego the temptation of telling his story, I may at least try to offset some of its effect by relating my own stupidity (just one of the myriads) with the same professor. 

After observing what happened to Hasan in regard to logging cores, I decided to take a much more cautions step and not rush anything. As a preparation, I read a number of books explaining logging techniques as well as journals on the identification of different geological environments with reference to the X Sea. As a last step before embarking on the project, I decided to see to my professor and get his blessings. So, I visit his office and find him in a cheerful mood, engrossed in drafting a map or something. After greetings, I bring up the topic of my upcoming visit to XX Company and discuss briefly what I was going to do. The professor praises me for taking a good preparation and I feel pretty much elated. And then, beaming with confidence, I ask the stupidest question one can ever ask a crazy professor- ' So, will I also record what is not there in core too?'   

'What! What the hell do you mean you will record what is not there!! A bottle of Coca Cola is not there, an elephant is not there, your bloody *%#!! is not there in the core- gazillions of stuff are not there -are you going to draw all that? Then why don't go ahead and just draw some of your *%#!!’...

Without much ado, I rush out of his room, drowning in a shower of accolades. What I had originally meant to ask is, if I don’t see any bioturbation, should I note that too? But I had to run for my life before I could get my point through.

3. The Final Fool 

It may be hard to believe, but the third fool in this sequel is the professor himself! After developing a pretty good impression of our scientific knowledge and expertise, he decided to visit me and Hasan at the core laboratory of X Company, before any further damage was done to science -spending fund on ambiguous black spots and things that are not there, probably were not in his mind. So, one fine morning as Hasan and I enter the lab, the professor is already there, sipping coffee and scrutinizing the open boxes of cores spread in front of him with the zeal of an art critic. 'Guys', he said, ' before you produce any more garbage for me to clean up, let me give you this little demo tour of these Middle Jurassic rocks before us... first of all, let us start from the very bottom, following the very basic law of superposition... so what do we see here at the base? Of course, an erosional boundary indicating the base of a Point Bar in a river channel, and so what do you expect above it? No, you duffer, it should be flood bank deposit, because the channel shifted and later the same place was occupied by the encroaching floodplain, ...looks like I need to refresh your memory on Walther's law over again!... now look at that, what's that? Sure, it is a fragment of coal. So what does that indicate? Aha swamp!' -as my very eloquent professor continued his monologue with arcane gestures of fingers every now and then, lest we miss any of the three dimensional aspects of the environment, both Hasan and I imperceptivity immersed in his prehistoric vision. Bit by bit, a Jurassic delta plain with turbulent rivers, steep levees, lush overbanks and dark shallow swamps took shape out of the dusty slabs of cores. And probably for the first time in life, I got truly excited about geology, about the unbelievable possibility of melting through vast vistas of time and space, gazing into a piece of rock. I enviously marveled at what clarity of concept, what scientific acumen and what penetrating power of imagination this person held. Will there be a day, when even I will be able to do similar feats? But just as I started to feel giddy, someone burst into the core lab and started to waddle towards us through the far end of the hallway, waving his hands rather violently and blaring something at the top of his voice. It was soon revealed that this guy was the staff responsible for laying out the cores, and he just happened to realize that a large bulk of the cores had been inadvertently laid out upside down on the display tables!        

The face of my professor took an orange hue for a moment, with jaws wide open. Time stood still as the core-man reordered the core display. Pin -drop silence. And then after taking a big sip of his coffee (and probably a deep breath, as well), he started in a more- than- necessary cheerful voice -'Ok guys, let us do it once more, chop chop, -let's start from the beginning, so what do we have here -this is obviously is a crevasse splay. Don't you see these parallel sedimentary structures? What? Why the hell do you think the deposits would show coarsening up features? When a river in the vicinity reaches flood stage....’ he continued. To my great amazement and confusion, now I observed how, in a moment's notice, my Jurassic world could stand on its head with so much ease at the command of my boss. 

  Perhaps, one of the greatest challanges in core description is to draw a clear distinction between despcription and interpretations. After many years gone and many miles of cores viewed, I still often get confused.

(Based on an almost true story)