The Three Faces of Self

I recently read a fascinating and thought-provoking article from talented best-selling author Ruthanne Reid regarding the different “faces” we show the world. In Reid’s own words: “Each face represents a different way your character interacts with and reveals themselves to the world.”

In the article, Reid discusses three main faces that encompass most of life’s situations or circumstances. According to Reid, exploring and understanding each face (faces that vary according to the unique individual) will help us better understand ourselves, and in return, better operate in the world surrounding us. In essence, it helps us figure out what makes us tick and even what causes our alarms to go off. Basically, we’re all clocks—with faces.

It gets better the more in-depth Reid went in her explanation, which I will do my best to describe here.

To help readers understand what differentiates this trio, Reid offers a few more specifics. Think about it this way: the first face can be seen as your public persona; the second face is that visage you reveal only around your close acquaintances, such as friends and family; the third face is only uncovered when you are completely alone.

Reid’s take on the three faces finds its feet in her explanation when she explains how as well as telling so much about your character and how you interact with the world, each face informs the other two faces. In the context of the article, Reid’s discussion was more focused on writers who were seeking to create well-rounded characters within their literary works. But for me, it hit home on a personal level—as I see the truth of her “face premise” relating to us all on an innately human level.

One exercise that Reid gives to her readers is to write their characters’ different faces in certain scenarios, then evaluate what their actions in different contexts (i.e., with different audiences watching or not watching them) reveal about them. Taking the assignment and modifying it to your own life and self can show you a lot about yourself.

As you sit down and write about your faces (how you react in the world based on who you are surrounded by—or not), it can be telling and challenging. This small exercise can make you realize several things. For instance, while exploring the first face (writing yourself into a sample scenario of doing something embarrassing such as tripping and falling), you might know you would be embarrassed and try to play it off immediately, hiding the snafu as best you can from nearby eyes. This could reveal a childlike insecurity and need for approval, even as a full-grown adult.

When viewed with the second face (amid close friends and family), the same sample scenario could find you as the hero protagonist instantly following the ungraceful flub of tripping with a light laugh and shrug of the shoulders. After all, you are surrounded by those who love you and who you are comfortable with (and they will already know if you are a klutz). This reveals the safety with this face and how much love and intimacy can control a person’s confidence level.

The same scenario with the third face (solo) is also telling. Maybe you jump right up, dust yourself off and go on your way, not caring one bit about being ungraceful or taking a fall when you are the only witness to the embarrassing situation. It might highlight that you have a good sense of yourself and are self-accepting.

I would encourage you to try this exercise for yourself. Write yourself into your own scenario and see how you would respond using your various faces. It will shine a light into much of your character and perhaps challenge you on many levels to “face” what one—or three—of your faces uncover about you.

What your character reveals might surprise you.