Three easy ways to keep in touch with colleagues

Don't neglect relationships if you value your career.

Introverts sometimes neglect to nurture relationships with colleagues. Failure to do this can harm your career.

It’s not that we don’t like people. We all need human connection, introverts included.

But we tend to be in our heads a lot at work. We like it in there and sometimes we forget to come out to play with other people. We don’t need as much external stimulation as extraverts do and prefer to save our ‘social energy’ for friends and family. We also tend to dislike small talk and often can’t be bothered with water cooler chat.

Under normal circumstances when you’re working in an office, you’re forced to engage with other people whether you want to or not. Whether it’s waiting for the kettle to boil in the office kitchen, having a bit of a chitchat on arrival at a meeting or taking part in ‘compulsory fun’ in the form of team lunches and office parties, there are various ways in which you usually mix with colleagues by default.

But these days, those moments are gone. You’re stuck at home behind your laptop, your only social contact with colleagues is via the window of a Zoom or Teams call. There are no opportunities to bump into colleagues in-person and have a quick chat.

Perhaps you’re enjoying this new reality? There’s no pressure to make small talk and you’re left to your own devices to get on with work. Bliss!

Or, maybe after months of remote working you’re feeling a bit lonely: cut off from colleagues, out-of-touch with what’s going on and worried about being forgotten.

However you’re feeling, relationships with colleagues matter and letting them slide is unwise. You need good working relationships to oil the wheels of projects you’re working on and keep you in the loop about what’s going on. Your career could stall if no one remembers you. 

It’s tempting to sit back and wait for normality to resume. But it seems likely you’ll be working from home for at least another few months until spring kicks in. Even then, there’s no guarantee of a return to the office. Many people say they want to continue working from home for at least part of the week. And some companies might decide to make remote working the norm once they realise it saves money on office space and productivity doesn’t take a hit. So are you going to wait for a ‘normal’ that might never arrive, or will you adjust the way you relate to colleagues to take account of the current (and possibly future) reality?

How to keep in touch with colleagues

In the beforetimes (pre-Covid), the way to build professional relationships was to attend networking events and conferences, meet people for coffee, attend the office Christmas party (even if only for an hour) and make an effort to chat to people you bumped into on the way to the loo. 

A lot of that isn’t possible now. So what could you do instead? 

Start by writing a list of important existing relationships you want to cultivate: your boss, people in your peer group, possibly a few contacts outside your own organisation? Then add a few new people you’d like to get to know: the new head of fundraising perhaps, or someone you’ve noticed on LinkedIn. These are your VIPs – the people you want to make a concerted effort to stay in touch with.

Next, decide how you want to communicate with your VIPs.

You could make the most of your introverted preference for one-on-one conversations by inviting them to meet for a ‘virtual cuppa’ i.e. a short video call where you recreate the informal chat you’d have if you were meeting in-person for coffee. There’s no agenda, simply a chance to get to know this person better and let them get to know you. You could ask what they’re working on that excites them, what they’re challenged by, what they need help with? If you can help, do.

Another way to keep in touch (and less time-consuming than virtual cuppas) is to make use of messaging services like WhatsApp to quickly check-in with people on your list. Sending a quick message shows people you’re interested and reminds them of your existence.

The dreaded small talk is an important element of how humans form relationships and build trust, so don’t neglect it. Start or end team meetings by asking people to share something about themselves. For example, you could ask what people are finding to do with their evenings during lockdown, or what they most miss and are looking forward to being able to do when there’s a vaccine. (The introvert-friendly way to facilitate this kind of small talk is to ask a specific question and allow time to think – don’t just create space for chat and expect people to fill it because you will only hear from the extraverts.)

None of this comes naturally to introverted people. Many of us prefer to hide away so it’s a good idea to put mechanisms in place to prompt you to stay in touch. For example, you could diarise time once a week to send a few messages. Or put a reminder in your phone to set up a fortnightly virtual cuppa with someone you haven’t spoken to for a while. Consider setting yourself a target for the number of people you’ll reach out to each week but be realistic. If you know you’ll only have the time or inclination to proactively contact one person, that’s fine - anything above zero counts.

Over to you

How will you maintain your professional relationships in these strange times? What else might you need to do to ensure you stay on your colleagues’ radar and continue to develop the connections that will help you do a good job and make progress in your career? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Get in touch 

If you’d like some support to build and maintain your professional network in an introvert-friendly way, send me a message and we’ll talk about how I could help.