Three Common Mistakes Made by Managers in Providing Negative Feedback

The following article is a translation of the article previously published in Japanese on the Toyo Keizai website.

Managers are sometimes compelled to critique someone's work, and in such moments, effective communication is crucial. Mishandling negative feedback can lead to unintended consequences and demotivate employees.

Delivering negative feedback is a challenging task for both managers and employees. Inevitable situations that require critiquing someone's work can evoke stress and concerns for both the giver and receiver of the feedback.

Let's take a closer look at the most common mistakes made when giving feedback and explore strategies to convey it in a way that supports development, motivation, and psychological safety in the workplace.

Bad Habit 1: Saying everything all at once

If an employee is overwhelmed with negative feedback, their self-esteem may suffer. When bombarded with multiple messages like "This is wrong" or "This needs improvement," the employee might think that everything is flawed, lose motivation, and feel stuck. Even if feedback is delivered with caution and delicacy, too much of it can make the employee feel that someone else should do the job better.

It's better to deliver negative feedback gradually instead of all at once to reduce the psychological burden on the person.

For example, if you have three things you want to give feedback on, focus on one of them first and ask the employee to concentrate on it initially. Then, provide the remaining feedback later. This way, the employee will find it easier to accept the criticism.

Bad Habit 2: Criticizing People, Not Actions

How can you give negative feedback without compromising psychological safety?

Let's compare the following four sentences. Depending on what you focus on, the other person's feelings and the ease of accepting the criticism will be different.

1. 'Mr. Smith, I think there are areas where communication is not going well in recent meetings.'
2. 'Mr. Smith, I feel that the way you speak at meetings is a bit too assertive.'
3. 'Mr. Smith, your communication skills are not at a high level, are they?'
4. 'Mr. Smith, you are a rude person.'

What do you think? If you were to receive similar feedback, you would probably have a harder time accepting the messages from the bottom of the list. It could hurt your feelings, make you feel embarrassed, or even angry.

In the first example, the focus is on overall communication in meetings. It's an environment-based way of communication. Since the criticism is not directly targeted at the person, it appears easier for the other person to accept the feedback. However, they may not recognize their own behavior. If the goal of the feedback is to improve the other person's behavior, it might be too indirect.

Example number 2 is behavior-based communication, focusing on the way the other person speaks, their actions. As the criticism is not directed at the person but their behavior, this feedback is less likely to cause offense while providing room for the other party to take it on board. The message directly addresses Mr. Smith's way of speaking, and the recipient of the feedback will understand it.

Example number 3 is skill-based communication, focusing on communication skills. Skills are a part of a person, so it's easy to perceive this as a denial of their personality.

In example 4, we have values-based communication, focusing on the other person's attitudes and values. Such feedback becomes a denial of their personality, and there's a risk that the other person will feel hurt. Additionally, direct negative statements like "You are stupid," "You look down on people," "You don't care about people around you" increase the risk of conflicts, grievances, and resentment.

The best way to give negative feedback is behavior-based communication because it's not a direct criticism of the person. Feedback is effective when the other party genuinely accepts it, leading to improved behavior.

Bad Habit 3: Hesitant to Give Harsh Feedback

As a manager, giving negative feedback to others may not be a pleasant task. Some people hesitate to give feedback, fearing that they might hurt or displease someone, or they postpone it to observe the situation.

Giving feedback early is crucial, especially when team members' performance is not satisfactory. By receiving feedback, they can notice any deviations or mistakes and correcting them at an early stage leads to better results.

The more challenging it is to convey something, the more important it is to do it promptly. Delaying things just because they are difficult to say can cause trouble, worsen the situation, and ultimately weaken the relationship between the manager and team members.

It's better to speak up, even if it's difficult. This way, things can change constructively early on, and psychological safety in the workplace won't be compromised.

This article is a reference to my Japanese book “心理的安全性 最強の教科書”?- "Psychological safety. The guide to high performing teams"