Thoughts on Servant Leadership

We are in the midst of the super bowl of politics - the presidential election. What we would hope to see on display is the apex of leadership. I do not think I am alone in thinking that what we see is often the worst that leadership has to offer. The founding fathers who created the framework upon which this country was built had a contrarian, lofty idea about who would be our senators, representatives and president - our leaders: a grateful citizen, willing to sacrifice a few years away from their career to serve a grateful nation. After a few years of service they would return to their career and remain grateful for the opportunity to have served their country. It is difficult to watch the primaries and debates and not be skeptical that the motives we are seeing are more about power and self-promotion than service. These people are not evil. I am confident that most of them pursued politics, originally, because they wanted to make a difference. They wanted to serve. The realities of back stabbing, compromising and getting re-elected altered their original, admirable objectives. In an arena where servant leadership should be the norm, the fact that it is so difficult to find is evidence that servant leadership is both difficult and rare. It is not so different in the business arena.

I rarely find people who argue with the tenants of servant leadership: serving others, being inclusive, collaborating, promoting an environment of trust and dignity, valuing other people and their opinions. Yet, if your experience is anything like mine, it is rare to see servant leadership in practice. Why would something so universally admired be so rare in practice? The answer is complicated and multi-faceted.

We promote the wrong type of people into management.  One of the criteria I have often heard as a necessity to promote someone into management is that they are ambitious. They desperately desire a leadership role. The ambition to grow one’s own career and continue to seek ever more impressive titles (Sr Manager, Director, VP) often works against the tenants of servant leadership. In the political arena this manifests itself in politicians doing and saying whatever is needed to get re-elected. The needs and desires of their constituency fall lower on the priority list. In the business world these leaders spend their time and efforts managing up. They take credit for the work of their team. They spend little time coaching and developing their people but a great deal of time making sure their leadership has a good impression of them. I have had this type of leader and I remember wishing they would hurry up and get promoted so that I might get a better manager. I probably couldn’t do worse.

We promote the most productive individual contributor to manager. Having been in sales for over 20 years I have seen this error repeated so often I now simply expect it. When a sales manager position becomes available we promote whoever was the most successful sales rep into the role. When a Sales Engineering Manager position becomes available we promote the best engineer on the team into the role. That might be the best person for the job, but more often than not they are a terrible choice. Many of the skills, practices and motivations that enabled them to excel as sales people or engineers do not translate well to the management role. Let’s pick on the sales person role. You can be a successful rep and not have a compelling vision. You do not need to be a good teacher. You do not need to be an encourager. You do not need to look for opportunities to help others succeed. I believe having those attributes will certainly help a rep be successful, but I have seen many reps consistently surpass quotas with none of those attributes. To be a successful leader, however, those attributes are mandatory. This flaw in our promotion practice leads to the misinterpretation of the motto, “Lead from the front”. When I think of how to illustrate the true meaning of that motto I recall this famous painting.

Washington Crossing the Delaware by Emanuel Luetze

I believe this painting captures the essence of the motto. Washington is certainly out in front. However, he is not doing what his troops are doing. He is standing and looking across the water, courageously making himself the most likely target should an enemy soldier fire at them. He is not doing this because he places so little value on his life. He is doing this because his troops need to focus on the difficult task of rowing across a frozen river. Someone needs to be watching where they are going, keeping them on course, giving course correction to avoid large obstacles and ensuring they do not row right into an enemy trap. Leading from the front means being close enough to your people that you can provide meaningful coaching, you understand where they struggle and where they excel and you can demonstrate for them desirable core attributes like courage, integrity, compassion, honesty, inclusiveness and perseverance. It does not mean grab an oar and row. Had Washington been rowing there would have been little difference in the speed of the boat, but the potential for disaster would have been greatly increased.

Because we often promote into management the best individual contributor on the team and not carefully consider that the attributes that made them successful as an individual contributor may not translate well to the management role, the “Lead from the front” motto gets misinterpreted. I will pick on the engineers now. When we promote the best sales engineer (SE) on the team to manager, what often happens is she never stops trying to be the best SE on the team. It is hard to let go of what made her successful. She had a reputation of always having the answer, being able to deep dive technically and deliver a killer technical presentation. To maintain those skills at a high level SEs spend a great deal of time studying and practicing. If the new manager wants to continue to be the go to person for those things she’ll have to spend an equal amount of time studying as well. If she spends her time “rowing the boat” like the rest of the troops, who is looking across the water (setting a vision) and giving course correction to avoid obstacles (coaching)? The answer is no one. The team doesn’t need one more SE, they need a leader. Unfortunately, all too often the best SE on the team does not make the transition from individual contributor to manager very well. She falls back to what made her successful in the past and what is her comfort zone, being the smart SE. From the manager’s selfish point of view it feels great to still be the go to person. The sales reps still call you for answers. They call you when the deal is important and they want confidence that the presentation will go well. They sing your praises to leadership about how valuable you are. However, all that recognition is related to the SE role, not the leader role. Unselfishly, she could be doing so much of the SE role because she is concerned about how busy her team is and just wants to help offload some of the work. That sounds noble, but it has a profoundly negative affect. Remember, one more soldier in the boat rowing will have negligible effect on how quickly the boat crosses the river. However, having no one paying attention to where they are going or short term and long term obstacles can be disastrous. This behavior also crushes the morale of the team. When the manager never stops being the best SE on the team she keeps getting the high-profile assignments. The largest opportunities with the most leadership exposure never make it to the individual contributors. By not relinquishing the “best SE” title she robs her team of the opportunity to grow their own reputations. She gets recognition rather than them. They will eventually become frustrated at the lack of opportunity to promote their own brand. From the individual contributor’s point of view how do they feel about their manager stepping in and taking the high-profile projects, running important meetings and doing the critical presentations at their customers? They do not feel gratitude for having a little less work to do. They either feel their manager thinks she’s better than anyone else and loves to prove it, or they think their manager must not trust them to do the job - or both. In either case this crushes morale.  

Even when we promote people with the right leadership attributes the demands of the job often undermine servant leadership. I describe this as the paradox of what can be measured verses what really matters. We all want our managers to perceive us as doing a good job. As a manager, I have rarely had the person to whom I report be in the same office (or even the same state). How then, are my 2nd and 3rd level managers able to compare my performance to my peers and/or their expectations? They will rarely, if ever, see me in action. Therefore, they will use what is at their disposal to determine if the manager is performing to expectations: things that can be measured. What makes up this category? Activities like, How quickly do you respond to email requests? Are your weekly and monthly reports submitted on time? Does your team complete mandatory training by the deadlines? Are you on time and prepared for internal meetings. Are your personal tasks and deliverables completed on time? How long do your employment req’s stay open? These activities can be measured and tracked from afar, and they can be easily compared to the manager’s peers. It is incredibly easy for a manager to be completely consumed keeping up with these activities that can be measured, but have little to no visible value to the manager’s team members. An individual contributor sees no value in whether or not her manager’s monthly report was submitted 10 minutes prior to the deadline or 10 minutes after… or delivered at all. She does not care about her manager’s promptness or preparedness for internal meetings or if the spreadsheet in the presentation is color coded correctly. When a manager is encouraging the team to complete their required training by the deadline it does not feel like genuine concern for their technical knowledge. It is perceived as nagging - like someone who does not understand how busy they are and shouldn’t be bothered with this. What really matters to individual contributors are things that are difficult, if not impossible to measure. Activities in this category: Does my manager care about me as a person? Does my manager understand my hopes and dreams and is working with me to achieve them? Does my manager know what motivates me? Does my manager appreciate my strengths? Is my manager compassionate about my weaknesses and helping me improve? Does my manager treat me with respect? Does my manager understand how I like to be rewarded and recognized? Does my manager communicate and inspire me to pursue a team vision and mission? Does my manager give me prompt, on-going and constructive feedback about my performance? If I am in Dallas, TX managing a team of engineers that cover Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma and Arkansas, and my director is in San Jose, CA busy doing her own weekly and monthly reports and attending even more meetings than I do, how can she possibly know (or measure) whether or not I know what motivates the engineer on my team that lives in Little Rock, AR? These difficult to measure items are what individual contributors really desire. They make all the difference regarding whether or not an employee feels valued and appreciated. It is what fuels loyalty and passion for the team and the company. It is the foundation for a high performing team. It is so incredibly important, nearly impossible for upper management to measure and so very difficult for a manager to practice consistently.

Enough about why we see so little true servant leadership. When we have the privilege to work for a true servant leader what does it look like? What does it take to be a servant leader? I believe there are a few core principles that are key to servant leadership.

Motive: Earlier I talked about ambition in a negative light. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with desiring to have a successful career that increases in scope and responsibility. Is that career advancement the result of you walking on the backs of your people or do you truly believe that if you focus on your people’s success it will ultimately ensure your own success? It makes a world of difference if the motivation is born of selfish desires or a passion to help others and lift an entire team.

Vision: Does the manager take the time to develop and articulate a vision for the team? Does the team have an identity, a brand, that inspires them to excel? Does the manager regularly remind the team what they do on a daily basis contributes to improving the company, their customers and even an entire industry? One reason people stay with a manager and a company through tough times is that they believe they are part of something grand.

Genuinely Care: The things that make it into this category apply to leadership whether or not one has a manager title. Actually, they apply to any relationship with someone about whom we care. The theme for this section could be summed up as “big, showy events are not as important as all the little things”. To prove my point let’s look at a quick illustration. John is married to Mary. Every year he makes a huge deal out of their wedding anniversary and her birthday. One year it was a trip to Europe. Often it is an extravagant article of jewelry. Last anniversary it was a new Mercedes. However, the other 363 days of the year he is distant and preoccupied. He is never mean or abusive, but he is not involved with Mary’s life. He rarely says ‘I love you’. He works all day and then goes to the gym on the way home. He and Mary barely speak before it was time for bed because there just isn’t time. John’s weekends are devoted to golf. Weekend golf is both for his own pleasure but also a chance to mingle with clients in a relaxed environment. When John’s coworkers meet Mary their first words are usually, “so you are Mary, we hear so little about you we started to doubt you really existed”. Tom is married to Anne. Tom never makes a big deal about anything including anniversaries and birthdays. Anne will get a card and maybe flowers and a cake on her birthday. However, Tom never misses an opportunity to tell Anne he loves her. He is constantly surprising her with hand-written love notes he hides in the cup holder of her car, her purse and in her sock drawer. Tom makes sure he beats Anne home from work at least a couple of times a week in order to prepare dinner for her. Tom asks Anne about her day and listens to her answer. Tom spends Saturday mornings doing laundry so that Anne can escape for a couple of hours to get a massage or mani-pedi. He often tells her how something they saw at the mall or on TV reminds him of a time from their past. He can tell her where they were, who they were with, what they were wearing and what it meant to him then and now. Who do you think feels more loved and appreciated Mary or Anne? 

In a work environment it looks like this.

Does your manager have regular 1:1 meetings with you? Are those meetings all about the manager telling you a bunch of things and then have to promptly end so that she can get to the next meeting? Or, is that meeting all about you? Do you get to talk about what is on your mind? Does your manager check in on how you are progressing with your personal development? Does she bring opportunities for you to get exposure to key stakeholders and experience that will help you achieve your goals? In the many years I have been in the workforce my managers scheduled 1:1 meetings with me. However, they missed most of them or at best were late and told me at the outset that we’ll have to cut it short because they have something important that came up. It is hard to feel appreciated when there is always something more important than me. We demonstrate what we consider important by where we spend our time. If my manager is consistently missing our 1:1 time or cutting it short by being late or leaving early, then I can’t help but eventually feel like I am not important to her.

Does my manager listen? When I talk to my manager does she put away her mobile phone and stop answering email, or is she “multi-tasking” while we talk? Am I important enough to her that I have her attention?

Does my manager understand my hopes and dreams and is working with me to achieve them? What a wonderful way for a manager to demonstrate they care about an employee. It is rewarding for both the employee and the manager to be active and intentional about achieving one’s dream.

Does my manager know what motivates me? It is much easier to be excited and passionate about my work when my leader has connected what I do to the things that motivate me.

Does my manager appreciate my strengths? It is hard to feel appreciated if my manager has not taken the time to get to know what my strengths are, celebrate them with me and find ways to allow me to use them as often as possible.

Does my manager treat me with respect? We might be tempted to call this one self-explanatory, but let’s carefully consider the two key words: respect and treat. Respect is a feeling of admiration for someone. It could be born out of their position of authority, but more importantly due to their abilities, actions, and character. A servant leader sets the tone on the team by actively nurturing respect for everyone on and around the team. Finding the admirable traits in others, acknowledging them and consistently giving people the opportunity to put those attributes into action lifts the spirit and productivity of the team. Sadly, it is possible to have respect for someone, but fail to show it (treat them with respect). It is also possible to lack respect for others, but hypocritically treat them as if you do. Both situations ultimately result in crushing morale. What does treating someone with respect look like? Many of the things mentioned in this article that fall into the category of “it’s all the little things we do” apply, but here are a few examples with which I think most people would agree. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity - people on your team, from other departments, partners, customers and even competitors - everyone. Realize we don’t know what others are going through. Be empathetic. If someone is struggling, rather than call them to the mat, lean in to help.  Value diversity. We hear that so often it is now cliche’, but absolutely vital. For a person to feel respected they need to have a voice. Value everyone’s input. Seek it. Give it due consideration especially if it challenges your own views. Do not participate in office gossip. If a team member witnesses a leader gossiping about someone they will surely wonder what is said about them when they are not around.

Does my manager understand how I like to be rewarded and recognized? One size does not fit all. Some people just want more money. Some people want public recognition. Some people like gifts. The ways people like to be recognized is as varied as there are people. A manager can have a profound impact on how appreciated her workers feel by knowing how they like to be rewarded and acting upon it. I have an example of this. One of my best engineers was a woman who hated public recognition. Unfortunately, our company (like many companies) took the one size fits all approach to recognizing employees, and without my knowledge surprised she and I at sales kickoff by calling her onto stage in front of everyone to name her SE of the Year. She was, of course, gracious in the moment, but inside she was furious. The award and plaque meant so little to her that she left the plaque on the table when the event was over. I received quite a lecture afterward about how I could know so little about her that I would allow this to happen. I confessed it was a surprise to me and fortunately we had a relationship that she believed me. What did work incredibly well with her was a simple, but heart felt act. When she did something amazing and I wanted her to know I was aware of it and appreciated it I would schedule a coffee at her favorite coffee shop. This shop was convenient to her home and her key customers, but was on the opposite side of Dallas from where I lived. I would go to her. We would have a coffee together and I would tell her what I observed, what it meant to me and our team, what was special about it and how I will, with her permission discuss it on the next team call as a best practice. This type of recognition meant something to her. It cost the company $8.00 as opposed to thousands and was far more effective at making her feel appreciated.  

Does my manager give me prompt, on-going and constructive feedback about my performance? No one should ever be surprised during an annual performance review. If there was an issue at some point during the year a discussion should have taken place then and any remediation enacted at that time. If an employee did something worthy of accolades they should have been delivered then. Feedback, whether positive or constructive needs to be an on-going activity. A leader cannot be a coach only one day per year.

We’ve talked about why servant leadership is so rare and several leadership activities (certainly not exhaustive) that qualify as servant leadership, but I’ll conclude with what I think are a few key take-aways.

1. You have to truly believe that if you focus on your people’s success it will ultimately ensure your own success. It is easy to get discouraged on this front because we see so many people who are self-serving and self-promoting get the promotions instead of the people passionate about serving others. We have to believe and persevere anyway or things will never change.
2. You have to genuinely care about others. If you don’t, then there will be little passion and joy from serving them and servant leadership will quickly give way to doing the things that can be measured.
3. People determine what is important to you by where you spend your time. Give the bulk of your time to your people.
4. Know their “currency”. Don’t interact with them in Euros if what they like is U.S. dollars. The point is understand all those little things about them: passions, desires, motivations, hopes, dreams, plans, etc. Then work with them from that perspective and they will flourish.
5. Lastly, and this is so important. Leadership is not dependent upon a title or job function. Everyone can lead because everyone can serve. As the leader of a team it is up to you to create an environment in which service, inclusiveness and collaboration are recognized and celebrated.

Credit: For more details about “treating people with respect” see:

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-treat-others-with-respect