Thoughts on Life & Work: Kindness

Welcome to the fifth post in this series based on a list of characteristics penned by the ancient Saint Paul, a 1st century contemporary of Jesus. The list ended with the phrase “against such things, there is no law,” and I’ve come to believe these traits not only serve us well in life but also at work. Once again, here’s the list: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control. So, what does “Kindness” have to do with the competitive, dynamic world of work????

Like our last topic, patience, Kindness is a universally understood concept. Kindness is understood best in contrast to its opposite: cruelty. Suppose cruelty is intentionally saying or doing things meant to inflict harm, physical or emotional, on another living thing. In that case, most people see Kindness as intentionally saying or doing something intended to help or uplift another living thing. (You might note that I think these concepts apply to not just humans, but animals, plants, and all other living things). But, of course, it’s not entirely that black and white. We might reasonably stake at least one position in the middle between these extremes that we could call being “unkind.” We might not think of harsh, intentional cruelty when we hear this term. Still, we would probably also infer that the potential for kind words or actions was either overlooked or explicitly rejected. (And now we’re ready to talk about work.)???

?I would assume we would all agree that in our modern, civilized workplaces, explicit cruelty is not only generally unacceptable but often would result in very negative consequences, from a reprimand to termination to criminal charges. However, I think most of us would acknowledge that while we would reject cruel behavior in ourselves or our colleagues, we’ve all been guilty of treating coworkers in an unkind manner. We might justify that it was for “in-kind” treatment (the good old “eye for an eye” moralism that logically would ultimately result in a world full of sightless people). Or, in other settings, we might give ourselves a pass because we were just “tired and overwhelmed” and couldn’t be bothered to be “nice” in the moment.???

My sense of why this value has merit at work is the proverbial “death by a thousand cuts” metaphor. As noted above, most healthy professional workplaces would have an allergic reaction to explicit cruelty. But, if we allow ourselves to take it lightly when other people are treated dismissively, unfairly, or unkindly, the cumulative effect of those “small cuts” could result in serious injury to the emotional health of individuals, or even whole organizations, over time.???

So, I guess my warning to the reader and a strong reminder to myself is not to get into the bad habit of dismissing unkind behavior, either in myself or others. Instead, let’s make the extra effort to say the kind word, help the person who’s struggling, or give a smile to someone who looks like they might be having a bad day. Because, after all, “against such things, there is no law.”???