Thoughts From The Garage - 9th Edition

Originally Written:?Friday, May 22, 2020 8:01 AM

Good morning and happy Friday!

Another week in the books folks! I trust it was a good for you. I know this week I took special note of the tasks and transitions that add up to living a life of significance and purpose. It might not have been a full embrace of the day-to-day, but the complaining seemed to decrease just a bit. I guess I’ll consider it a work in progress.

I always enjoy hearing back from you all each week. On average I get about a dozen or so replies. A few repeat customers and a handful of new folks each time. We share our ups and downs as we learn our way through a new way of working and living. Your commitment is inspiring and your candor is welcome. I learn a great deal from your feedback each week so please keep it coming.

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Opening Thought…Form Over Substance

I know I probably talk about the tractor too much, but this last week was another round of spring cleaning out at the Gebhart Ranch. With a little rain and sunshine mixed together over the last couple of weeks, the weeds, oak leaves and downed tree limbs were getting out of control. That means it was BURN DAY! Only a few special days a year, but the kids absolutely love helping build giant bonfires (I act super mature, but I do too!). We used the old rusty tractor to form our burn piles and got to work. What would have taken us days to complete, was done in hours thanks to the power and utility of the tractor. It’s not pretty to look at, but its reliable and gets the job done every time.

This unsightly but useful tractor got me thinking about how opposite it is to the image obsessed culture of perfection we live in today. We want to be the best at what we do, and we want to look good doing it. While there isn’t anything inherently wrong with looking good, we do get off track when we are more riveted around what something looks like, rather than what it actually is. The desire for status might have us buy the newest sports car (what it looks like), but then have to live with the pit in our stomach when the first lease payment is due (what it is). We might be known as the fun person that likes to have a good time (what it looks like), but inside worry about the effects of excessive drinking (what it is). It feels really good to report that the status on our big project is green (what it looks like), only to be fearful of not being able to turn it around in time for the next status report (what it is).

I have enough personal experiences in this?looks like?vs.?is?to go on for another month. I bet we all do. It’s not that we set out this way. But slowly, over time, we let the fa?ade of aesthetics become more important than the true beauty of what’s real. This is true in our work, and it’s especially true in our relationships. We think we are saving face when all we are really doing is fooling ourselves and delaying an inevitable and painful reality check. In the introduction of his book titled?Falling Upward, author Richard Rohr makes this observation. “If there is such a thing as human perfection, it seems to emerge precisely from how we handle the imperfection that is everywhere, especially our own.” Rohr goes on to say, “a ‘perfect’ person ends up being one who can consciously forgive and include imperfection rather than one who thinks he or she is totally above and beyond imperfection.”

Let’s not let perfect (what it looks like) become more important than progress and goodness (what it is). That would be like me spending more time painting the tractor, then actually driving it.?

Additional Thoughts…

• As I sat down this morning to write, I opened the window I sit in front of in the garage for the first time. It’s still a bit cool, but nice to feel the crisp air and hear the birds.
• This stay-at-home order has to be the cheapest, yet highest risk and most intense version of family therapy. Absence might make the heart grow fonder, but togetherness demands the heart to get stronger.
• If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend Jerry Seinfeld’s latest comedy special on Netflix called?23 Hours to Kill. It seems to be getting mixed reviews (its either great, or it sucks???) but I have always found his observational comedy quite funny.
• Random kid conversation as we were brushing teeth the other night: Teddy: Hey Bay (Teddy’s nickname for Seth)…you know that guy you call Cheese Man? Seth:?(shouting)?Yes Ted, of course I know Cheese Man! Teddy: Well, that’s not his name and he isn’t cheese. His name is SpongeBop SquarePants and he’s a sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea. Seth: What?!? That’s weird. Me:?(laughing and didn’t have the heart to correct either of them???)
• After a 3 or so week hiatus, the kids and I finished out the Lord of the Rings by watching Return of the King. My favorite of the trilogy, with the exception of the final 40 minutes of goodbyes all shot in slow motion.
• Yes, those last three thoughts were all references to television/movies. I need to get out more…
• Okay, time to close the window. The “crisp” 53-degree air is getting the best of me.

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For Now, I’ll Leave You With This?

This Memorial Day will probably look a lot different than most years for all of us. What’s usually a weekend chalked full of travel, parades and over-eating, will likely be much more quiet due to the COVID pandemic we are all still navigating. While we mourn a bit of the loss of our celebrations (what it looks like), don’t let that overshadow the remembrance of the women and men who have given their life for the freedoms we enjoy here in the United States of America (what it is). To many of us, that means our own grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters. I hope the change in pace this Memorial Day helps us better remember the sacrifice that has been made on our behalf.

Have a safe and wonderful Memorial Day Weekend!

-Mike