Thoughts on Depression and Un-Depression

The most insidious feature of depression, in my view, is that, when it is upon us, we begin to believe it is somehow expected, reasonable and obvious that this is the way we should, of course, be feeling: depression has its self-promoting tricks to make us feel like it is a natural and rightful state to be in. We start to expect that those things which are making us sad, should, naturally, result in depression. We begin to think it quite reasonable that we should feel this way, given the anxieties in which we dwell. It becomes rather obvious to us why we can’t cope, given the weight of our problems pressing down on us.

Yet there is a big difference between depression and just feeling sad, blue or stressed. More often than not, depression is actually due to an imbalance – a malfunction – in the chemical cauldron by which our brains and bodies operate. This glitch in our system could be caused by these dark days of winter, by medications we are on, or, more often than not, by the very ingredients of the chemical soup which we put in our mouths – I cannot stress enough how much imbalances in our diet affect our emotions and thinking.

I myself know a lot about depression, but practice various techniques to keep it at bay, from nutritional, light, music and dancing therapies, to exercise, cognitive thinking, meditative and distractive practices. Indeed, I started feeling the onset of depression just today. So I’ve been out for a walk around the block in the bright winter sun. I already feel much better [and I cognitively switch on a light bulb in a special corner of my mind…]

So we should try not to let depression fool is into believing it is our rightful state, and disallow its intrusive thoughts to lead us down that dark path. Here is my suggestion: commemorate the times when we drop the dark of mantle of depression, when we forget to feel unhappy, when the bright winter sun breaks through the chemical clouds. Notice those moments, however fleeting, of happiness, joy or laughter, or simply un-depression, under the shadow of the very same problems, anxieties and pressure. Gather the evidence that, even in the heart of sadness or in the doldrums of seemingly overwhelming stress, we can exist without grinding hopelessness, we can still cope and address our problems.

If we become much more cognitive and learn to acknowledge the brighter spots of existence of un-depression, under the very same circumstances which our depression is telling us are the reason we are depressed, we might begin to learn to expose that lie? And then, perhaps, it is possible we can break its vicious cycle?

Yes, instead of commiserating our depression, let us start celebrating our un-depression. Here’s what I would like us to try. Let us be cognitive, mindful – watch out for - those brighter spots in the heart of our darkness. When we do notice them, let us imagine switching on (yet another) very bright light bulb. Let us squirrel the evidence away for when we need it. Let us say to ourselves “Ah ha! More evidence that it is perfectly possible to be un-depressed despite the problems and the sad things!” Let us keep score of all the light bulbs we turn on. Then, when we sink into depression again, let us be cognitive of that too. Let us hurry, now, to that corner of our minds where we keep our evidence and imagine turning on each of those light bulbs again, thinking back to each incident of un-depression. Let us shine the light of truth on the dark lie of depression until it has nowhere left to hide.

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