Thoughts on Columbo’s Questions ???♂?, Empathy, and Unlocking Potential ??

Recently, during a workshop, someone asked me a question that made me pause:?"Lison, I understand empathy is important, but how can I show my team I care when I’m held accountable for results?"

Taking a crude translator: “How can I be understanding and patient with my team, when they don’t get the results we expect, and I’m the one being blamed for it?”

And this is quite understandable. Nobody likes to be in this situation, and yet, as leaders, this is the fine line we must learn to walk, balancing between driving outcomes and staying human.?

To do so, we must leverage one of the keys for sustainable high performance, which is the ability of a leader to develop empathy—seeing the world through another’s eyes.

A 2021 study by EY (Ernst & Young) back this point as it found that 86% of employees believe empathetic leadership boosts morale, while also increasing efficiency (88%), creativity (87%), job satisfaction (87%) and company revenue (83%).

However, empathy doesn’t mean you fix everyone’s problems or lower standards. It’s about understanding where people are, so you can support them to succeed. This is a skill, and like any skill, it can be developed.?

And while this usually takes time and practice, I compiled a series of tips, falling under 3 categories (active listening, questioning and open mindedness), to get better at it quickly.

Active Listening: Building Trust through Presence

Active listening is the foundation of empathy. It’s not just hearing words but truly understanding the message beneath them.

Years ago, I coached a leader who feared deep listening would derail his focus and waste his time; thinking that instead he should simply tell them what to do. While this approach may yield (better) short term results, it completely stifles individual growth and team innovation - which over time will result in low performance.

When leaders actively listen, they can uncover the true challenges holding their team back. Instead of jumping into solutions, ask more, listen more and find clarity.

My 3 go-to tips for better active listening:

• Use open-ended questions. For example: “What’s the biggest challenge here for you?” instead of “Is it about [assumption]?” (basically calling for yes/no answer)
• Reframe and ask to expand. Summarise what you hear to show you are understanding correctly, then invite more: “It sounds like you’re saying X. Can you tell me more about that?”
• Stay present. Avoid planning your response while they’re talking; focus fully on what they’re saying. If an answer is needed, it is OK to take a few moments - even in silence - to reflect on what you heard before doing so.

Questioning: Uncovering the Bigger Picture

Empathy grows when we ask meaningful questions that go beyond the surface. I often share the Columbo approach in workshops. Lieutenant Columbo is a TV series character, portraying a somewhat awkward homicide detective asking questions that appeared random - and yet - it always led him to the case resolution and finding the culprit.

So the Columbo approach requires us to adopt a “curious detective” mindset. Playing a little “dumb” and asking simple yet profound questions that can uncover insights you’d otherwise miss.

My 3 go-to tips for better questioning:

• Ask ‘why,’ but with tact. Instead of “Why did this happen?” try: “What led to this situation?” - try your best to remain neutral and remove judgment.
• Follow breadcrumbs. When something stands out, follow it: “That’s interesting, can you expand on that point?”
• Challenge assumptions (yours and theirs). Ask: “What other possibilities could there be?” - like a detective, leave no stone unturned to find the clues you need to solve the case.

Open-Mindedness: Seeing Without Judgement

Empathy requires checking our biases at the door. It’s easy to fall into assumptions or judgements, especially under pressure, but staying open-minded allows us to truly see another’s perspective.

My 3 go-to tips for fostering open-mindedness:

• Pause and reflect. Before jumping to conclusions, ask yourself: “Am I making an assumption here?” - if yes, what is this based on? Is it facts or a gut-feel?
• Adopt a beginner’s mindset. Even if you “know” the answer, pretend you don’t. This opens the door for new insights. While there might be good reasons to have “always done it this way”, novelty might be worth a shot.?
• Think for yourself. While there is some wisdom from the crowd, this should not prevent you from having your own analysis. We want to avoid group-thinking and while the majority, listening to divergent voices (including yours) might shine a new light on issues.?

Empathy fuels leadership. The next time you face a tough challenge, ask yourself:

Am I listening deeply? Am I questioning meaningfully? Am I staying open-minded?

Empathy isn’t a “soft skill.” It’s a strength. When you lead with heart and head, you build trust, unlock potential, and inspire performance: not just for your team but for yourself.

To your success,

Lison xX

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• If you are about to make an important decision?for yourself (or your team) - let me be part of your inner circle and work towards your success, book a call with me to discuss this.
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