THOUGHTFUL LEADERSHIP Series

Asking or Telling - What's your predominant leadership style?

Can we tell something without telling? Yes, you guessed it right, it’s by asking. Don’t you think that this is a meaningful aspect, to make the conversation livelier and more impactful?

I don’t mean that our conversation should only be in asking mode, of course not, otherwise it will be like an interrogation, so there should be a good balance between asking and telling. But this note is intended only to highlight the usage of 'Asking'. You may find this applicable in various contexts in an organisation, more so at senior levels and while dealing with millennials.

Do you agree that Directive Leaders tend to tell the plan of action, in a more directive manner, unlike participative leaders, who prefer to do it in a more collaborative and consultative manner? I get a feel that when our behaviour is influenced by leadership title, our directive leadership style will become more prominent.

But will the directive approach be impactful and effective, always? I guess, it will not. This is for the simple reason that we are not dealing with machines, but human beings with emotions & ego; it may vary from people to people, but it plays a role.

You may have a great point to share that the other person might not be thinking at all, but at times, especially when you communicate with an experienced person, it would be better to put it as a suggestion, rather than just a directive. When you pose that as a question, we are inviting the other person also to be in the process of identifying and owning a solution, which he/ she may have good understanding and experience of. They may still agree without raising any objections, if it’s too directive, but the adoption or execution shall be very effective as the involvement will also have an emotional connect with a greater ownership mindset, if it's participative

Considering the limitations with directive leadership, a blended approach looks more appropriate. Needless to mention, people get excited and take greater ownership to make it happen, when the plan is co-created, rather than just getting it imposed on them.

Telling is also important, but the way in which it to be told makes the whole difference – In this regard, Story Telling is an inevitable skillset that a leader should possess. This makes the telling part so effective and remove the ‘directive’ component from it.

Being only in asking mode will have its own limitations as well. When you deal with someone who is very less experienced and do not share any views or suggestions otherwise, no point in getting into a consultative mode, rather, he/ she would be more comfortable with a directive approach. So, both the styles are important, but we should be mindful about how to use it and when to use it. As I mentioned in the beginning, this note is to highlight the importance of participative leadership style or asking mode, and hence, you may find it too focused on that aspect, but that is intentional.

I believe, understanding the difference and consciously practice the way of Talking with people against Talking at them is a critical skillset that a leader should possess, and mastering it will enhance the Leadership effectiveness. Hope you are with me on this.

I guess, directive leaders may comment to this article by telling, and participative leaders may put their thoughts by asking – what do you think? ??