Thoughtful empathy
As someone who is often interested at the intersection of cognition and people leadership, I am fascinated by how thoughtful, empathetic nudges often result in the biggest leverage with your team. One of the leaders I used to work under gave me a wonderful suggestion " make every conversation move forward on a continuum from where you left off the last time''. I did'nt quite fully comprehend what it meant until after six months of time spent with him.
I realized that he had this unique ability to listen, empathize, weave a feedback loop and build on it enduringly, almost with everyone he came across and I learnt these lessons from him.
Remember those things that light up a person: Maya angelou once said " I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." So if you had a colleague who took a day off to get his kid admitted to school, did you bother to check in how the admission process went. And will you remember the update the next time ?
Weave a story in your mind that establishes an empathetic connect: Now that you know what happened, do you know how to use your perspective to add in something that can either value or show empathy. "Oh, did you have to go through a long process ? Was your kid co-operative? How did you manage a virtual interview during the pandemic ?"
Find out how the event relates to a larger story and purpose for the person: Over a period of time you will know how each of these snippets makes an impact in the life of the other person. Do you remember the ones that are material and purposeful ? Would you remember to check-in six months later on how the kid is doing and if he is adjusting well to school. And he actually could intervene meaningfully and proactively on at least one occasion - he got food sent during the funeral of a colleague, knowing that it would have been well, difficult for those grieving to manage, given they were waiting for someone from abroad to arrive before the last rites.
Why is the above important ? Because it furthers a tremendous amount of trust between the giver and the taker. It shows that the giver is'nt merely concerned about the task on hand but looks at you from the prism of a long term, caring relationship.
Founder- Trayac Entrepreneurs Pvt Ltd
4 年Good write up, continuity of conversations builds a connect, particularly when it is authentic.
Co-Founder at Align By Design - Helping companies scale by Driving Alignment and reducing the 'Think-Say-Do' gap | Author | Speaker | Advisor | Fulbright Scholar | IIM Ahmedabad | CMU |Stanford | Ex-Cognizant
4 年very nicely written Varadharajan. Its so important for leaders to move beyond the professional work check-ins, look at people as people and help them be the best that they can be. I think thats what primarily differentiates a leader from a manager. (In my view, managers are required only if - 1. they add value to the work already done 2. They help people grow - in which case, they are no longer Managers but morph into leaders) Empathy. humility and authenticity are hallmarks of a great leader and active listening is one of the skills that sets them apart