The Thought Creator

Welcome to the fourth edition of The Thought Creator.

My aim is to create a space where you can take a mindful moment to be inspired. In a world moving at considerable pace, I hope to provide you with an opportunity to take five, make a cuppa, sit, read, and create a thought. Where you take that thought will be up to you, I'll just be planting the seed.

Wondering why I've become a little fearful of trying new things, in today's issue I share some research I've found about fear and some helpful steps we can take to retrain our brains into trying something new.

I feel like I’ve become a bit of a ‘scaredy cat’ over the past several years. Reflecting on my childhood and younger years I was a daredevil, someone that loved the rush that came with trying something new (like jumping off the 10 metre diving board at the local pool) – I wasn’t afraid of taking risks and relished opportunities to try new things.

Fast forward to today and life feels a little different.

I first started to think about the word fear a few weeks back when I attended a WNBL game. I was watching the young dance crew at half time and was overcome with a feeling of wanting to start some dance lessons because it looked like an extraordinary amount of fun. But then the fear-factor kicked in and the excuses shuffled around in my mind – I’m too old, I’m not fit, I’d look ridiculous, etc, etc!

It got me to thinking – what other excuses am I starting to make in life to not give something new a try? Why have I shifted from being carefree to risk averse? What is holding me back?

Are you experiencing the same kind of feelings?

Fear – noun: an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

According to the Paul Ekman Group, fear is one of the seven universal emotions experienced by everyone around the world. Fear arises with the threat of harm, either physical, emotional, or psychological, real or imagined. While traditionally considered a “negative” emotion, fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe as it mobilises us to cope with potential danger.

The universal trigger for fear is threat of harm, however people can become afraid of many different things, and experience feeling anxious when worried about something, even if not being able to pinpoint exactly where the worry is coming from.

In a medically reviewed article titled What to Know About Anxiety in Older Adults, (reviewed by C. Nicole Swiner, MD) I discovered that as we get older and are presented with more challenges throughout life – consider things like paying a mortgage, caring for, and worrying about young children, the stress that can come with more responsibilities at work or dealing with grief and loss - fears, or feeling anxious can come as a result of these overwhelming environmental and situational factors and the aforementioned examples can be the trigger.

In further research I came across a term called Existential Decline. As we age, we may face some existential questions, such as the meaning and purpose of life, the inevitability of death, and the legacy we leave behind. These can trigger some existential anxiety, which is a fear of the unknown and the uncertain.

Further reading and reflecting had me start to think about my early days as an elite athlete, and could some of my fears stem from the years spent worrying about not being enough, the years of being judged on a daily basis for performance, fitness, skin folds, shooting percentages, speed, agility and for the many years I spent worrying “does my bum look big in this?” because I had to wear a body suit! It reminded me of a passage from a book I am reading titled The Mind Monster Solution, authored by Hazel Gale, where she says “People who are capable of getting out of their own way can achieve great things.” Am I just getting in my own way?

This chapter written about fear really started to resonate when Gale spoke about how our sense of worth can be largely based on what we achieve, creating this thing we know as fear of failure, which Gale refers to as the “mental stumbling block” that sits at the heart of many of the problems her clients bring to their therapy sessions.

“We doubt ourselves when we get the sense that we aren’t enough in some way; not good enough, nice enough or pretty enough …… not intelligent enough, strong enough or creative enough. We all have our own versions of ‘not …. enough’, and we’re likely to struggle with more than one. Whatever the nuance, the more a fear of failure threatens to prevent us from achieving our most desired sense of identity the more painful it will feel.” Hazel Gale

In her book The Mountain is You, Brianna Wiest talks about how when we are facing a problem that is chronic, “we are facing the reality of ourselves” resulting from the years we have spent accumulating tiny traumas.

“You must envision and become one with your future self, the hero of your life that is going to lead you from here. The mountain that stands in front of you is the calling of your life, your purpose for being here, and your path finally made clear. One day, this mountain will be behind you, but who you become in the process of getting over it will stay with you always.” Brianna Wiest

?Another way to look at ‘tiny traumas’ could be what Audrey Sherman Ph.D. refers to as ‘emotional baggage’ which can show up in fear – “huge, in your way of getting anything done kind of fear.” These limiting self-beliefs represent all the negative emotions and self-talk that can show up and hinder our ability to try new things. Sherman shares that by learning to trust yourself, identifying the components of the fear, building self-esteem and building self-belief can all contribute towards tackling something new.

In a medically reviewed article titled Coping with the Fear of New Things by Lisa Fritscher (reviewed by Daniel B. Block, MD) there are times when sticking to the familiar can serve as an adaptive coping mechanism, particularly when a person is dealing with stress. For example, researchers have found that re-watching TV shows can be a way to reduce feelings of anxiety and restore a sense of self-control – lightbulb - so this is why I like watching The Office from season one through to season nine over, and over, and over again! Familiarity can serve as a source of comfort and constantly choosing the familiar helps us to avoid the hesitancy we experience when it comes to the unfamiliar.

Fear can lead to a detrimental impact on your life, causing us to miss out on opportunities, relationships, and experiences that could potentially bring richness and joy to our lives (like signing up for that dance class, or buying the drum kit I’ve been dreaming off for 30-years)!

There are some self-care and self-help strategies that can help us manage our feelings of fear and anxiety:

• Start small: Gradually exposing ourselves to new things in small doses can help us get used to new experiences.
• Find ways to relax: Using relaxation strategies can be helpful when dealing with symptoms of fear and anxiety. Deep breathing is one approach that has been shown to be particularly effective when coping with anxiety.
• Distract yourself: When find yourself faced with the unfamiliar, look for ways to occupy your attention without focusing on the source or symptoms of your fear.

?

Juan Pablo Zapata, clinical psychology resident in the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioural Sciences from University of Washington School of Medicine says that “Doing something outside of our routine is almost like swimming against the current. It’s uncomfortable and sometimes downright scary. When it comes down to it, people fear the feeling of fear and this leads to avoidance. When you let fear lead and avoid trying something new, you miss the chance to adapt your brain (specifically the amygdala) to the thing you’re afraid of. And you give up that fresh hit of dopamine, which makes you feel good and accomplished.”

Zapata explains that there is a region in our midbrain called the substantia nigra/ventral segmental area or SN/VTA. It’s the “novelty center” of the brain, which responds to new stimuli. This part of the brain is linked to the hippocampus and the amygdala, both of which play large roles in learning and memory. Doing or seeing something new can activate this system and can trigger dopamine pathways, which makes us feel good and rewarded.

Zapata shares some ideas around the small steps we can take to retrain our brains into trying something new, by identifying goals and values and getting clear about what drives us.

Consider what brings you the most happiness:

• What were you doing?
• What things do you look forward to??
• What were the experiences that made you feel fulfilled??
• What do you want to do more of and less of??
• What do you want your relationships with yourself, partner, family and friends to look like?

By answering these answers you’ll be able to pick activities that align with what makes you content and fulfilled, and that gives you a better chance of following through.

The next step is to make an achievable plan, translating the values and goals identified from the activity above into your new activities, or what Zapata refers to as setting up for success.

“With any new activity, it is important to keep it simple, break it into smaller pieces, do one thing at a time, use visual reminders or alarms, have an accountability partner, schedule activities at times when you are most likely to succeed, use self-compassion, anticipate setbacks, and reinforce and reward new and healthy behaviour choices." Juan Pablo Zapata

So whilst I won't be racing out to the local swimming pool to jump off the 10 metre diving board, I'm up for the challenge of trying some news things. Taking on some of the advice above I'll start by giving some deeper thought to what brings me happiness, and set up a plan with some small and achievable steps.

For any fellow 'scaredy cats' out there, you are not alone!

Sal xo

Further resources:?

Try Something New - Right as Rain by UW Medicine

The 7 Skills Necessary to Overcome Fear | Psychology Today

Neophobia (Fear of New Things): Symptoms, Causes, Treatment (verywellmind.com)

Anxiety in Older Adults: What You Should Know (webmd.com)

The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest | 9781949759228 | Booktopia

The Mind Monster Solution, How to overcome self-sabotage and reclaim your life by Hazel Gale | 9781473662469 | Booktopia

What is Fear? | What Causes Fear? | Paul Ekman Group