Those who love you for who you are

"I have come to the realization that there is nothing lovely about having to continuously convince someone to love you". — Unknown. Are you having a crush on someone or possess true feelings for the one, is one of the most beautiful emotions in the world? Of course if it is a one sided affair, where either you already conveyed your feelings for your partner, or are still waiting for the perfect moment. To understand this situation, let us consider this example:-

Many of you guys love pets like parrots, dogs, rabbits, cats etc. No doubt, you love them, and because of your love and care they stay with you. They are dependent on you, that is why they are with you. You feed them daily, take care of their hygiene, keep them fresh and clean and you cuddle them and you feel so good. Now, have you ever imagined a scenario where, what if the parrot has the freedom to fly. What if, rabbit has the freedom to live in the jungle with its own family. Since you are human, you feel the urge of your physical and emotional need. Animals also possess these needs. But all you give them is your “Love”.

Same goes for the person whom I love like if she is not in love with me, I don’t have any right to impose my feelings on her forcefully. She needs her space too like I need mine. Of course I love her, and I will give utmost care. But what if her dreams differ from what I have to offer? Sometimes, your one sided love restricts people. And it becomes a burden on them. Your expectation rises, you think your love is flawless. But at the end of the day I feel, choosing someone whom you love (One sided) is a selfish act. The one who loves you (One Sided).

Again there are two scenarios in this case :- There are many people who love you. Simple question. Is it possible to love back everyone who loves you? No, it isn’t. You can only love one person at a time. And if you choose to love all of them, then surely you are either God or a superman. You are not in love with a person who loves you a lot. Now in this case, that person forcefully imposes their feelings on you. And after some point you agree to live with them. But that is agreement, not love. This feeling of love comes automatically.

What if my dream differs from what they offer? Am I doing justice to their love? I want to do something in my life, but their feeling, their love is stopping me, restricting me, because they have their expectations from me. It will become a burden after some point of time. Since their love is flawless, they love you for anything. But if you are not in love and still agree to stay with them, you are not loving, instead you are pitying them. This is not true love.

We know that love is not a game. You cannot force someone to be in love with you. It automatically clicks, where you don’t have to express your feeling and other person understands it automatically. Feelings should be mutual. You don’t have to go for a person who loves you, because until you are not in love with them, you are not doing justice to them. You don’t have to choose a person whom you love, it is just another selfish act.

I always thought there was something romantic about fighting for someone. About winning them back, Eventual happiness. But as I sit here with stones in my chest, where hope used to lie. Imagine these two cases. The first one is if I choose the one I love. I decide to grow a plant in my garden. I water it daily, I protect it from insects, bad weather, everything. After all care and affection the plant finally grew into a big tree. I’m happy. One day there's heavy rain. I went to take shelter under my tree. The tree refuses! I ask with hope in my eyes, why? Why you will not protect me? After all, I gave you my everything! The tree- “Because you love me” I- And, you? The tree- I don't. I never did! You choose me right? I am standing there, no longer feeling the pain of heavy rain but the only pain I could feel is the pain of my heavy heart full of regrets!

Now let us imagine a second case if I choose someone who loves me. I am very thirsty and looking for water everywhere. After searching for it everywhere, I am still not able to find it. Someone comes to me and offers me juice. I took it because I was very thirsty. After sometime, I am again feeling thirsty. The person comes to me again and offers me juice because that's the only thing he has and I again took it. After sometime I am again thirsty. The person ask me what's wrong ? Despite of quenching my thirst many times, why I'm feeling thirsty? And I ask this question myself and realize that what he is offering is not what I was looking for. I will be thirsty until I find water. And the person will keep standing with what he is having, in hope that someday he will quench my thirst.

Now therefore, instead of choosing between “the one”, I will choose to feel the love! And love is never one sided. It is a feeling between two people that keeps them connected. If it is absent at either end, it's pain and emptiness! In my opinion, if I ever come across with the situation where I will have to choose between the one I love or the one who loves me, I will be selfish and choose the one whom I love. See I told you before that many of you will not agree with my answer but it is true.

I am what I am and I don't want to be diplomatic for no reason or to gain sympathy. I am just being real and that doesn't mean all those who are choosing the one who love them are wrong. No way! This is my opinion at the present moment. I can't say if I will ever change myself in future. I have a simple logic and that says that I can't fall in love with someone who loves me only because she love me selflessly.

I mean this can be the greatest ever effort made from the other end but I am sorry I can't sacrifice my desires for that. For me it is an obvious sacrifice. May be this is for the heat of moment, may be she has started liking my side whom I am actually not and who knows the real me can come into worst view of her. I don't know all these. I am just saying what I feel. And in case if someone loves me and little by little after knowing her more, spending quality times with her also make me fall for her, that would be another matter of talk. Perhaps, I start loving her and it will give a kick start to another cliché relationship.

But as for now, I can't love someone only considering the reason she loves me because if I do this, it will end up being the biggest failure for my life and I will do nothing but making a needless compromise from my side. And I just don't believe in love being compromised. Always remember heart has its own standard, it doesn't beat for everyone. Cheers!