Those Awkward Questions

One of the hardest things as a business dispute specialist is getting the same people talking about the same issues to let me ask those awkward questions.

People agree to mediation because the strategies they have tried so far haven’t resolved the dispute and other alternatives like going to court are not what they want. However, they are often unwilling to offer the information I need to get them to understand the other side’s position and to identify the real issues. They can be defensive and sometimes not co-operative, so this is where my skills and experience play a vital part in the outcome.

The questions I ask help to undercover the underlying problems and the manner in which I ask can reassure parties that I am not making any judgements or determining the outcome. I am clarifying the options for resolving the dispute and guiding them towards their own decision.

If you think about it, questions are important only in light of the answers they evoke from the party answering. They are responsible for the response so the power remains with them and prepares them for making a decision. However, I was the one who chose the question, no matter how awkward, so am partly responsible for the direction we go in.

Questioning is central to a mediator’s ability to enable conflicts to become constructive and new possibilities to emerge; so challenging myself and finding new ways to ask these questions is vital to my work resolving disputes.