Those All-Important Life-Lines

No, I'm not drowning. At least not recently.

Over a decade ago we discovered that I wasn't sleeping properly, and with lack of sleep comes such things as memory loss, not being able to finish work correctly, and countless other issues that could be life-threatening. It was at a time when we had great insurance and was asked by my doctor at the time a series of questions, and then he pointed me to a cardiologist to get a sleep test.

Let's just say, that sleep test confirmed what was suspected all along, lack of quality sleep. And like millions of Americans nationwide with positional sleep apnea, I sleep best when I wear a CPAP. The amount of quality sleep I got was near zero - and my body was screaming at me to fix it.

Little did I know how that lack of quality sleep impacted everything in my life, from my marriage to parenting my kid, as well as the quality of my work. I was pushing myself and didn't even know I was killing myself in the process. If you know that analogy of a frog in a frying pan, you know that as the heat of the pan increases, it gets worse for the frog without it realizing it. For me, that heat was the added stress and struggle of not being able to focus properly, which just made the issues even worse.

There could be an assumption that this lack of sleep was primarily due to my son's autism and his odd sleep patterns. Although that could be a contributing factor, the reality was that my focus wasn't on my health at all, it was on making sure my son was safe and taken care of. So, wherever there lies blame, it's completely on me. My priorities were not in check, and my wife and son needed me to be around for the long haul. So, some changes had to be made.

Reflecting on this leads me to think of how often we sacrifice self-care to take care of others: our loved ones, or even to deal with our jobs.

In time a variety of boundaries had to be set and reinforced. Efforts need to be made in my daily lifestyle, and those changes need to be pursued and supported regularly. These new boundaries allowed me to focus on what is important, and to know when to reschedule those other items at a more appropriate time.

Self-care is what keeps you from drowning, and having understanding and encouraging friends to help you stay on point are those rare lifelines that will help pull you out of those tough days.

Being a parent of a special needs child does have its limitations when it comes to friendships. Often we special needs parents discover who our friends really are, and realize that these friends become like family to us because they just know and understand.

For nearly 20 years many co-workers have expressed to me that, "I don't know how you guys do it." To be honest, "some days I don't either."

But in those nearly 20 years of being a special needs parent, I've been very grateful to have a few good friends who have been those lifelines when I've needed them. These folks have been a phone call or a text message away, just checking in to make sure all is ok. And like having a CPAP to assist in my quality of sleep, having good friends who understand and who will keep you in check when needed, provides that quality of life.

Does anyone serve as a good lifeline for you? Tag them in the comments, or share this article with them. Who knows, you just might be their lifeline.

I'll share this and more on an upcoming Autisable-Dads-Podcast episode.

Now for the Podcast News…

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And now, for more!

Sometimes an individual and organization need a bit of a shoutout, as they are making great strides in helping the autism community in some way. Here is this week's highlight:

1. Rob Gorski - my friend and fellow Autism Dad. You can find him at The Autism Dad, LLC, and hear him on his podcast The Autism Dad, available on most streaming services.
2. Autism Radio - with their flagship show HOPE Saves the Day, hosted by Paul Cimins is on iHeart Radio nationwide, and their podcast is on many streaming platforms. They help many autism families with a variety of services available nationwide!
3. MyABA.Today - a recommended directory for families to find ABA Therapists. Also, a means for families to rate and review practices. Are you an ABA Therapist? Join and Create your listing for FREE.
4. MySLP.Today - a recommended directory for families to find a speech therapist. Also, a means for families to rate and review therapists. Are you a Speech Pathologist? Join and Create your listing for FREE.
5. MSP Design Group - a promotional marketing company that helps you sell more of your product or service, engage with prospects, influencers, and your community, and motivate your employees.

Thank you again for subscribing and being a part of this journey.