Thirties: The New Twenties? Ayanda Vana's Quest for Personal Growth and Authenticity

Ayanda Mbonani-Vana , a distinguished attorney, COO of Khula, content creator, and host of the Equip & Elevate podcast, has carved a multifaceted path that offers valuable insights into personal growth and authenticity. In a recent interview, Ayanda shared her journey from people-pleasing to living a purpose-driven life, shedding light on the profound lessons she has learned along the way. Her story is a testament to the power of self-awareness, intentional living, and embracing one's true self amidst societal pressures.

From People-Pleasing to Purpose-Driven Living

Ayanda's early years were marked by a tendency to prioritize others' needs over her own, a behavior she now recognizes as people-pleasing. Reflecting on this phase, she admits, "The young Ayanda was very into people-pleasing. And what that does, it drops you from being your full self and pursuing things that are important to you because you're thinking about everyone else around you."

This self-sacrificial mindset, often mistaken for kindness and grace, hindered her journey by diverting her focus from her own aspirations. Ayanda's transformation into a purpose-driven individual involved recognizing this behavior and allowing herself to grow beyond it. She emphasizes the importance of purpose in her life, stating, "One thing I knew is that my purpose is to impact people's lives. Every time I do something, I look back to say, how has that impacted someone's life on a small scale or a bigger scale?"

Ayanda's parents played a crucial role in her development by giving her the freedom to choose her path, a luxury they didn't always have. Her mother's sacrifices, such as walking 45 minutes to work and being separated from her children for years, highlighted the value of provision over passion in their generation. This realization fueled Ayanda's determination to live a life aligned with her core values and purpose.

Overcoming Self-Doubt and Embracing Confidence

Ayanda's journey was also marked by periods of self-doubt and feeling unqualified, despite her achievements. She recalls praying, "God qualify me," because she felt undeserving of her success. This mindset prevented her from recognizing her own hard work and abilities. She advises others to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations and God's promises, stressing the importance of self-esteem and confidence.

Ayanda's turning point came when she joined Khula, an agri-tech company, despite having no background in agriculture. She gradually built her confidence by acknowledging her unique contributions. She reflects, "The minute I got to that level of awareness of like, man, I bring this and this to the table, the conversation is different with the people around the table."

Her advice to young professionals, particularly black women, is to work on their self-esteem and confidence. This transformation can significantly impact their interactions and opportunities, enabling them to navigate their careers with assurance and assertiveness.

Core Values in Personal Relationships

In her personal life, Ayanda has learned the importance of aligning with core values when choosing a partner. She credits her husband for outlining four key aspects to consider: values, drive, family relationships, and self-care. According to Ayanda, these elements are fundamental and don't change over time, unlike preferences, which can be fleeting.

Ayanda encourages young people to enjoy their single years and embrace the freedom it offers. She believes that this period is essential for personal growth and self-discovery. "Enjoy your time. Enjoy that season," she advises. "Once you're married, you have all those years with your spouse, but you have a short period of time with yourself."

This perspective highlights the importance of being present in each season of life and making the most of the opportunities it brings. Ayanda's insights into relationships underscore the value of intentionality and self-awareness in building lasting and meaningful connections.

Commitment to Personal Growth

As Ayanda moves into her thirties, she is committed to radical personal transformation. She emphasizes the importance of being intentional about personal growth, not just through faith but also through continuous self-improvement and reflection. Reading works by authors like Robin Sharma and Jay Shetty, Ayanda seeks to invest in her growth outside her religious beliefs.

She has also embraced therapy as a tool for self-improvement, not out of necessity but as a proactive step towards understanding and enhancing her life. "I'm just getting to a point of saying no is enough of an answer. I don't need to explain my no," Ayanda asserts, highlighting her growing assertiveness and self-assurance.

This commitment to personal growth is a cornerstone of Ayanda's philosophy. She encourages others to be relentless in their pursuit of self-improvement and to seek out resources and support systems that can facilitate their journey.

The Art of Letting Go

One of the most profound lessons Ayanda has learned is the importance of letting go of relationships and friendships that no longer serve her. This process, while difficult, is essential for personal growth and maintaining focus on what truly matters.

Ayanda explains, "I don't have to be friends with everyone because I don't want to hurt people. If that friendship for that season, it was what it was, that's great. We learned what we needed to learn. I don't need to keep holding on to that if it's no longer the friendship for this season."

By letting go of unproductive relationships, Ayanda has been able to focus on her family, career, and personal development. This approach has allowed her to cultivate a supportive and intentional circle of friends who align with her values and goals.

Conclusion

Ayanda Vana's journey from people-pleasing to purpose-driven living is a powerful narrative of personal growth, authenticity, and intentionality. Her experiences as an attorney, COO, content creator, and podcast host provide a wealth of insights for navigating the twenties and beyond.

By prioritizing her core values, overcoming self-doubt, investing in personal growth, and embracing the art of letting go, Ayanda has crafted a life that is both fulfilling and impactful. Her story serves as an inspiration for anyone seeking to live authentically and purposefully, demonstrating that the thirties can indeed be the new twenties—a time for profound personal transformation and relentless pursuit of one's true self.

Navigating the Twenties Ayanda Mbonani-Vana Emma Reinecke

#navigatingthetwenties #youngprofessionals #podcastseries