The Thirst for Connection and How You Can Create it Right Where You Are

Sunday night at the Grammy's, two Grammy-winning artists put on a masterful display of poetry in motion. Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs combined to perform her hit song, Fast Car, which now doubles as one of his hit songs, to a thrilled crowd. As I began to survey social media and speak to friends, I realized just how much this song touched people from all over the world. What was clear was this powerful connection between the stars-- and fans everywhere-- is real.

It cannot be faked. But even more significant-- this desire for us to find connection with others, and to see people we admire connected, isn't just a want. It's a need for all of us. In life and in business. Allow me to explain.

We're all craving connection with one another. We want to follow (both in life and on social media) people who inspire, motivate, educate, help and enlighten us, and also people who make us laugh, cry and touch our emotions in a way that gives us a feeling of satisfaction. We also want to lead ourselves, our families, friends, colleagues and fellow humans to do wonderful things. What we come to learn is that the way to do this is to take an authentic and empathetic interest in who people are-- first, as humans.

While funny memes and TikTok videos exist about returning to the office and having to "play-along" with strange open-floor seating arrangements and unnecessarily forced social interactions-- which by the way, some of these things really do exist and are ridiculous-- several truths can exist simultaneously.

There's no way we should EVER go back to contrived, corny and entirely employer-dictated cultural and social interactions that no one really wants, and are anything but employee-friendly. And yet, existing entirely in our own silos without any social connection isn't what will lead to long-term business results, a great team or a fulfilling life. Connection should be flexible. Not forced. Not mandated. Engagement should be organic and authentic and we should work to seek it to make one another better.

We should work to champion social interaction and authentic connection and have this be at the foundation of building a vibrant culture.

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We Crave Connection

We as humans crave social interaction and connection. We truly crave belonging, even if it's not all the time. Introvert or Extrovert, we process these interactions in different ways. Some give us energy, some enervate us. We don't have to be the life of the party. We don't always have to initiate the conversation. We can find our moments and things that we're passionate about when it comes to listening, exchanging ideas, innovating and developing solutions to better our team and organization.

We can discover whether we thrive more in 1:1 and small group settings, or in larger group settings. We can find new ways to elevate and lift each other up to brighten each other's day. At the soul of connection is that we're truly wired to connect! Don't believe me? UCLA psychology professor Matthew Lieberman discusses this in his book Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. He writes,

“Being socially connected is our brain’s lifelong passion. It’s been baked into our operating system for tens of millions of years.

This pertains to helping others and to sharing ideas. Lieberman said: “We’re wired to see things and think, ‘How can I use this to help other people that I know?’ I can have the most brilliant idea for an invention, but if I can’t convey that to other people in a way that they’ll help me build it and market it to other people, it’s just an idea in my head. If we’re not socially connected, even great ideas wither.”

This is a call to rediscover the desire to build connected, authentic relationships in your personal and professional life. Think about it-- the desire for you to feel more connected to yourself, to your passion, to your work and to people will transform your mind and allow you to embrace life's opportunities and challenges each day. It will give you renewed hope, energy, optimism and belief that the life and career you want is well within your reach. And that each day you're not just working toward it-- but living it.

Showing up for Yourself and Others

Adapting to a new environment and new situations requires that we go "all-in" and embrace each moment. We can use self-awareness to realize what we find motivating and what we don't. We can self-manage and regulate our emotions so that we show up with confidence and a sincere desire for how we want others to feel when they interact with us.

We can understand our natural strengths for building connection and communicating well with others. We can find out where to find energy and what outlets will help us most to relieve stress.

Think about how you want to show up today and everyday for yourself and so you can build relationships and champion yourself and the people around you. A marketing executive I worked with earlier in my career often told me,

"How I show up is how they show up."

This is real! We want to try and be our best each day to help champion ourselves and others to be our most authentic, best selves. People will truly notice how we show up. They'll often mirror the way we lead with empathy and care.

Here's how you can begin to build connection today:

• First things first, connect with yourself! This is a lesson in self-awareness. I'm a huge believer in having a daily inspirational routine that allows you to prioritize what's most important. This sets the tone for your day to be more strategic, clear-thinking and stress free. It stimulates your mind and helps you to stay organized
• Make it a goal to connect with someone each week on the following areas: Socially. Personal or career development. Purely to listen and to help. To exchange ideas and brainstorm. To recognize someone for doing something spectacular.

Making a Difference

Coming into this year, I thought more about my own desire to build more personal and professional relationships in my local community, and here on LinkedIn and online. Some of the most powerful lessons of growth I've ever learned have come from meeting new people and sharing experiences together. It's led to friendships, business relationships and incredible stories that could probably fill another book. Honestly, it's led to me feeling more alive and filled with joy and fulfillment.

Building life and business connections is what keeps me going. And it's what leads to high-performing teams and vibrant cultures.

Keep going and keep building genuine relationships with people. One thing I've truly found inspiring is how much joy it brings me when I help someone. It also brings me tremendous joy and confidence to meet someone and find a connection on something that we both love or share in common. To get what you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done. Go for it. Don't wait. Initiate in a way that feels right for you.

I hope you're thinking about what next steps you want for your career and how you want to positively champion and influence the people around you. Know this-- as the African proverb beautifully articulates, "If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together."

Start right where you are. Begin local. Begin with you. Inspire yourself. Find your happiness, fulfillment and definition of success for each day. Focus on championing the lives of your family, friends and loved ones. Bring your best out to others and share this gift of connection.

And just like Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs, we can unite together. These two musical artists represent different generations, upbringings and experiences-- and yet they're able to find such powerful shared experiences in the rhythm and melody of a song. You too can make beautiful music-- together.

Please consider sharing this with others! Welcome to The Champion Leader Movement! Hit the subscribe button to receive this newsletter each week.

Christopher D. Connors is the author of The Champion Leader (pre-order now- available in May) . He's a keynote speaker, executive coach, and globally recognized expert on emotional intelligence. Christopher consults with executives and leaders at Fortune 1000 companies and with organizations spanning many industries.

His writing has appeared in World Economic Forum, CNBC, Thrive Global, Virgin and Medium. He is the #1 best-selling author of Emotional Intelligence for the Modern Leader, one of the top selling emotional intelligence books in the world. He is also the creator of the top LinkedIn Learning course, Leading with Emotional Intelligence .