The Third door (by Alex Banayan)

A story that proves how being persistent and fighting through hurdles or setbacks is often the key to success!

The third door is one of my favourite reads this year and the analogy that the author uses is brilliant! It explains how the majority of customers at a nightclub use the front door and are subject to lines, cover charges and bouncers. A small percentage of people are allowed in via the back door (celebrities, VIPs, performers etc) but there is always a third door that you can find if you have enough persistence and creativity.

The author explains how he was a pre-med student at USC who, like so many people was following his parent’s dream. His heart was not into it! To combat his boredom he started reading biographies of famous people – Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Steven Spielberg etc. This led to an idea to write a book that would explain how these individuals became great in their respective discipline. His specific goal was to interview these celebrities to share their story. His dilemma was that he had no money to fund his travels or credibility to get any interviews. How was he possibly going to get close to interviewing even one of these celebrities?

One day he had an idea to try and get on the Price is Right and win the grand prize to fund his project. What a crazy idea! He ended up pulling an all-nighter studying how to get on the price is right. It turns out that the casting director generally looks for individuals who will be entertaining on camera so he dressed to impress and found a way to get noticed. He then talked to everyone in the studio and learned strategies to win from individuals who had watched the price is right for many years (for example never overbid). Clearly, there was some luck involved but he won the price is right grand prize that day!!!!! 

This became his story and one of the mentors he met constantly urged him to tell this story. We all have unique stories that define us that capture people’s imagination. For example, when I tell people I grew up in Kenya, they are usually very intrigued and ask me a lot of questions about my upbringing. Did I grow up with lions in my back yard? Can I run a marathon and many other stereotypical questions J. As soon as the author shared this awesome story he got the attention of celebrities and the people he was trying to meet.

This book inspired me in new ways. After getting turned down many many times and thinking about giving up several times, he eventually was able to meet people who introduced him to some of these celebrities. With a lot of persistence he ended up getting interviews with Bill Gates, Stephen Spielberg, Tim Ferriss, Jessica Alba, Maya Angelou, Sugar Ray Leonard, Pitbull and several other celebrities. The interviews were great but what really impressed me was how he got the interviews. Hard work and persistence eventually helped him achieve his goal.

Sugar Ray Leonard helped him at a time where he almost gave up. He told him that “You may have a desire, a wish, a dream,” Leonard told him during that interview, “but it’s got to be more than that. You’ve got to want it to the point that it hurts. Most people never reach that point.”

Persistence is often talked about as a cliché but it happens to work! The person who makes it is the person who keeps on going after everyone else has quit! The book references several quotes and celebrities who always use persistence as the key to their success.

“You can’t beat the person who never gives up” Babe Ruth

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer” Albert Einstein

“If you are going through hell keep going” Winston Churchill

My ‘persistence’ story

A few years ago as I was contemplating life after Kraft where I had spent almost 15 years. I was evaluating what to do next and was quite confused. I always wanted to teach at a college or university and decided to investigate this. I found some online postings and spoke to a few friends and acquaintances about what it takes to get into teaching.

Most people I spoke to flat out said there was very little chance as I had no experience and did not have a PHD. I also reached out to a professor who I had worked with closely and he also was very curt in saying there was no chance (I think he was genuinely trying to do me a favour). I ended up getting a job that was very similar to my previous job and abandoned this dream very quickly. This idea stayed at the back of my mind and I knew I had some unfinished business but had no idea where to start.

Fast forward a couple of years and I have made reading books on professional and personal development almost a daily habit. Most books by ultra-successful people reveal how the path to success is never straight and you have to overcome many obstacles along the way and be PERSISTENT. One book on coaching that I have read says that you should be happy with a NO as you are pushing your boundaries or comfort zone, which is a great place to be.

I decided to go after this goal with more vigour and persistence. I shared this goal with many of my friends and professional network and eventually got introduced to three professors at Humber College (Angelo), U of T (Michael) and York University (Alla) and ended up developing great professional relationships with them. I have to thank my friends Alim, Conrad and Paschal who were very helpful with the introductions. After they gained my trust, they all gave me the chance to do guest lectures in their classes which was a great step forward. I also went to any networking or mentoring sessions connected to Universities or Colleges. These mentoring sessions in particular were so much fun and energizing. There were some networking sessions that I felt like a fish out of water, but at least I tried pushing outside of my comfort zone.

Needless to say, I took these guest lectures very seriously and they all went very well with great engagement from the students! When you get the opportunity, go for it with all your energy!

After two years of several guest lectures and other events, I was offered an opportunity to teach at Humber College this past summer!

Imagine your first ever lecture being on a Monday night from 6.05-9.30pm on the day of the Raptors championship parade! Go Raps Go and I thoroughly enjoyed watching our team win the championship and have an amazing playoff run but it led to the students not wanting to be there that night. I fought through that lecture and while it was painful it definitely helped me build resilience in the classroom setting.

I was coaching soccer 3 times a week, I had just started a new and challenging job and now I was teaching for 3 hours on Monday nights…..in the summer! What was I thinking????? There were several times where I wanted to quit, but I stuck with it and was waking up at 6am or earlier and doing 2 hours of lecture prep before 8am most weekdays! I went through some growing pains and learned a lot from this experience, but when I step back I am proud of the persistence and how I got in the third door and achieved an important goal for me! It was so rewarding sharing my experience and advice with students who had so much passion and energy.

 Alex Banayan had an amazing group of friends who supported him throughout the process especially when he faced obstacles. In my journey to teach a college course, my wife Farah has always been very supportive and my biggest cheerleader especially when I wanted to give up. As you push towards your goals it is important to surround yourself with friends and people who bring a positive and energetic demeanor so that they help you when things look bleak. It is also important to distance yourself from the nay-sayers and people who are tilted to a glass half empty mentality.

 Remember that as you go after your goals, there will be obstacles and it will be hard, but stick with it and surround yourself with people who encourage you and help you when you are stuck. Remember that there is always a third door or way to achieve our goals! It takes persistence and not giving up when obstacles or tests appear in front of us. Break through them and go for it!