Thinking versus using your body to achieve your goals

In the early stages of coaching, I would have clients come to me who would leave the session clear in their vision for the goal they wanted to achieve or challenge they wanted to overcome, have a plan in place, know anything that might trip them up and know the support they needed.

Then a couple of weeks later they would come back and have not done the things they said they would and often they would say 'I don't know why I haven't done them, I don't know what's holding me back, I can see logically how to get to the goal so why am I not?'.

I also found the same was true for myself....I would take to a coaching session challenges I wanted to overcome, have a plan, and then feel horrible in my body when I thought about doing the thing I so wanted to do - sick stomach, sweaty palms, tight chest - it didn't feel easy AT ALL. So, I too, would also not do the thing I said I was going to do.

I couldn't figure it out.

I really felt that something had to be missing for this to keep happening.

Turns out something was.

It wasn't until I had a somatic, body-oriented coaching session and something massive shifted when I explored the challenge using my body that I realised this was the missing piece of the puzzle. I left the session and just went and did the thing that I said I wanted to do. No sickness in the stomach, no sweatiness on the palms, no shortness of breath....it felt E-A-S-Y and I wasn't bothered about it at all.

And so I trained in somatic, body-oriented coaching to be able to bring this exciting modality to clients (and my own development, as it's something I can do myself) to help them move forward in new fresh ways.

It is hands down the part of coaching sessions that helps to 'shift the shit' (as I like to say).

It's hands down the thing that helps me and clients to feel less 'bothered' about the challenge that was there before.

It's hands down the thing that helps me and clients just do the damn thing we said we wanted to do, or be the way we want to be moving forward.

But what is this voodoo magic, Jenni? ??

Thankfully for the rational minded people out there, it's not just voodoo, but also science.

A somatic approach recognises that the body and mind are interconnected and we can only get so far by thinking our way cognitively through our challenges.

Our bodies hold e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g that has happened to us in our life and inter-generational somatic markers and with that it stores procedures for how to deal with everything we’ve encountered throughout our lived experience. A lot of these markers, patterns and beliefs were created in childhood that have long been forgotten by our cognitive mind - but stored away nonetheless in our bodies.

For example, if a ball comes at your head, before you have a chance to cognitively think about it, your hands and arms might fly up to protect your face - this is your body tapping into old patterns/procedures to keep you safe.

The downside of the amazing work these old patterns and procedures did to help keep you safe when you were little is that because they were created in childhood, they may not be serving you any more as an adult who wants to accomplish great things.

But if you tried to tap into exactly what those things are that are holding you back just by thinking about it? Maybe for the big stuff, but nah, not the little stuff.

In my years of work as a coach, it can be the most subtle of experiences that created these old patterns and beliefs. A teacher looking at you a certain way, something that happened on the playground at school, feeling embarrassed in a play, a parent responding in a way you weren't expecting, a sports team selection you missed out on, getting told off at the dinner table, getting looked over when your hand was raised to speak.

And with all these subtle experiences that your cognitive mind has filed away, only your body will be able to let you know what those little things are so that you can work with them to loosen their grip and achieve your big, bad ass goals.

If you are interested in getting to know yourself inside out and want to work on those little things your body knows are holding you back so that you do the damn thing and achieve your goals, drop me a message.

Nga mihi nui,

Jen

#behaviourchange #selfleaders #executivecoach