Thinking about our thinking

How we think about any situation directly influences how we behave.

Essentially our mindset creates a lens through which we look at the world. This lens is specific to us and changes in different situations, depending on the ‘stuff’ we bring to each situation. A person on being made redundant may see it as the end of their life, because of what happened to their father they assume they will never work again and will have to sell everything to stay alive.

This mindset will lead to a certain type of behaviour when they show up for interviews, which could mean they create their own self-fulfilling prophecy. A different person could see it as an opportunity to move to a company that they really love and that they can truly excel in. Naturally, this would drive a different behaviour and, most probably, a different result. 

Our mindset in any given moment is an amalgam of the ‘blueprint’ we have created over the course of our lives (much of it in childhood) and our current mental activity and physical state. 

Blueprint

Our blueprint is our map of how the world works. It is made up of our values and beliefs, many of which were handed down to us by our parents and have been reshaped by us for use in our own lives.

If we grew up with the idea that women are more competent than men, this would shape our behaviour in situations where we have to choose between a man or a woman for a job. We may have a high personal value around politeness and hence judge people to be good or bad based on this value.

What is interesting and often tricky about our blueprint is that most of this goes on without us even knowing. Very few of us have ever taken the time to gain clarity around our blueprint and make some conscious choices about how we would like it to be. It ‘just is’ and, as such, leads us to the belief that we see the world ‘as it is’. We don’t. We just see it as we see it.

The reason for this is that each and every one of us has an individual blueprint or map of the world and how it works. Our view of the world is just our view; we mistakenly see that as ‘reality’ and then get confused or upset when people see things differently to us.  

Focus

Our mental focus is how we spend the time in our mind.  

Sound complicated?

Look at it this way; imagine you were given 1000 minutes to think and you could think about anything you chose, what would you think about? Well, that is roughly what we are given every day, which equates to about 60,000 thoughts.  

The interesting thing is that most of us choose to ‘spend’ a large proportion of these minutes thinking negative thoughts; estimates vary between 50% and 60%. Even more interesting is that we repeat the same thoughts day after day. About 90% of thoughts we have in one day are the same as we had yesterday.  

Imagine, now, you were given ￡1,000 and told to spend it. Would you spend it on things you hated and made you unhappy or in a way that lifted your spirits? Isn’t it interesting that we don’t do this with our ‘mind time’, i.e. the thing that can influence how we feel far more than anything we buy?  

The brilliant thing is that we can choose to spend our mind time differently. By becoming more conscious of our thoughts and how they are driving our behaviour, we can use really simple exercises to take control of our mind and ensure it is doing us some good. 

Language

Language is unbelievably powerful. It creates an emotional reaction in us and those around us. The words we choose and the stories we tell have a direct impact on our mindset and our feelings.  

Imagine you are going in for your annual review; before you go in you chat to a friend and tell him it is going to be a ‘car crash’, your boss ‘hates’ you and you may as well ‘give up’.  

What kind of mindset would you have created for yourself?  

What is the emotion and what will the resulting behaviour be?  

Finally, how would you have helped your chances of getting the promotion you so want? In 2012 the Corporate Executive Board published research that showed, on average, 50% of the language we use is negative, 20% is neutral and 30% is positive. People have language patterns they fall back on.  

So do organisations; they create cultures and they drive results. Understanding what yours are and if they are doing you any good is very helpful if you are interested in developing.  

Physical state: 

We all know that, if we have a hangover, it will influence our behaviour.  

But how often are we conscious that being exhausted, overloaded, full of unhealthy foods, tense, unfit or even just distracted is directly influencing our emotional state and therefore our behaviour?  

Have you ever come home from work and one of your kids has asked you something fairly reasonable and you have completely overreacted? What was the result? The fact is that our behaviour is just as related to our physical state as it is to our mental state. In fact, the link is so direct that negative thoughts are actually acidic reactions in our body, which, in turn, help create ‘disease’ in our bodies and minds.  

So often overlooked in western societies, the link between how we look after our bodies has a direct impact on how we feel and behave and, therefore, the results we get in life.