Thinking on Loneliness

I consume an inordinate (I think) amount of podcasts. Much is in one ear and out the other. But occasionally, there are moments in a podcast (or entire episodes) that I hold onto and typically share with my wife - but in this case with y'all.

Start by downloading the December 12, 2021 edition of Offline featuring host John Favreau and Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy. Much of the conversation surrounds COVID and doom scrolling (worth your time), but as it pertains to this post, scrub forward to the 47:30 mark (on Apple Podcasts) for Dr. Murthy’s breakdown on loneliness (it’s less than a 10-minute listen).

Murthy, a familiar face/voice amid the pandemic, is also one of the nation’s foremost thought leaders on togetherness/loneliness (his book Together is on my to-read-list for 2022).

As someone who himself has suffered from bouts of loneliness, his framing of the topic has stuck with me.

“Loneliness is the subjective feeling that the connections you need in your life are greater than the connections you actually have. And in that gap you experience loneliness.”

As an analytical mind, I was floored ?– an equation for loneliness!

Another anecdote worth your reflection:

“Throughout the course of our life our deepest instinct is to connect with other people and to do so in a way that is informed and driven by love and kindness and compassion and not by fear, anxiety, or anger. But something happens to us as we get older. We come to learn or are taught through our difficult life experiences or from the people we see around us that if you are open with your feelings that people will take advantage of you."

Taken simply, we could all do more to better invest in our interpersonal relationships and our understanding of vulnerability. These were just two (of many) asides that stayed with me – I’m sure your listen will lead to your own spin. Feel free to share in the comments if so inclined.

Three more stats and anecdotes that I found of interest:

• Loneliness (not surprisingly) increase risk of depression, anxiety, premature death, heart disease, sleep disturbance, dementia, and more
• Murthy draws a difference between loneliness and isolation. Isolation is defined as the “objective descriptor of the number of people have around you.” Adding the caveat that people is subjective. “You can be surrounded by a lot of people, but also feel quite alone.”
• Relationships are our source of fuel (I loved this remark, so true!)?

#Thursdaytidbits?– Rethinking things that I’ve thought, read, seen, or heard on a bi-weekly basis in 2022 (in 400 words or less).