Thinking about the essence of the season

Every year at this time we are faced with the expectations of what Christmas ought to be: the family Christmas, office Christmas, retail Christmas, religious Christmas, Hollywood Christmas, nostalgic Christmas and a hundred other combinations in the collective imagination.

It can be the best season of the year and the worst season of the year. The contrast between all the imagery around the holidays and the reality of our daily challenges can be stark; the gap can be quite depressing. Especially for those who feel lonely.

I admire those who go about their lives in quiet dignity, serving others and doing their duty even when they don’t feel the Christmas spirit.

I also appreciate the genuine optimists among us, those who come by their cheerfulness naturally and easily. They don’t seem to make an effort to feel upbeat; they just are. Problems are opportunities; the world is their oyster. Christmas is energizing for them.

Considering the extra tasks that come with the holidays, getting into a Christmas-state-of-mind is not always easy for those already feeling the weight of daily challenges.

If we make an effort, though, it can be worth more than we imagine. No grand projects, just some basics will help: let’s try to worry a little less, start anew and embrace the warm aspects of the season.

For me, Christmas is about three essential ingredients: love, peace and forgiveness.

I believe that if I can focus on these three things, then the season will be well-lived. I have failed many times to fully centre myself on these virtues; I will try again this year.

In the darkness of the winter solstice, how do we find some light to get us there?

Letting go

One pathway to grace and even joy is to unburden ourselves of frustration, anger, guilt and all those negative emotions that prevent us from being at peace. If there ever was a time of year for shaking off this baggage, this is it.

Author James Clear says this about freeing ourselves:

At some point, you will have to learn to let go. There is an endless list of obligations and expectations, desires and ambitions, and worries and fears that will always be ready to insert themselves between you and the feeling of peace.If you never learn to let them go, there will never be enough.

Making misery “optional”

Keynote speaker and business consultant, Jim Clemmer , standing firmly on the foundations laid by philosophers over the ages, reminds us that we can exercise control on how we respond to challenges:

Life is full of problems, setbacks, and losses. That’s unavoidable. Misery, though, is optional.

Focusing on our weaknesses and what’s missing causes us to hold on to past failures and shortcomings for far too long. The longer we hold on, the heavier those burdens become. As we do, we fantasize and magnify those weaknesses. We make the proverbial mountain out of a molehill. Dwelling on weaknesses and all that we’ve failed to accomplish is deadly to our health, happiness, relationships, performance, and just about everything else in our lives.

So let us shake off our negative thoughts and worries. Let’s forgive ourselves and look ahead to becoming better versions of who we are. And let’s do it with compassion and grace. When we love ourselves again, we see the strengths in others, too.

The world may not be at peace, but we can do our part by being at peace with ourselves and with our loved ones.