Thinking Error - A Coaching tool

A thinking error, also known as a cognitive distortion, is a pattern of thought that is inaccurate, biased, or irrational.

Thinking errors can negatively impact a person's emotions, behaviors, and overall well-being.

Here are some common thinking errors:

All-or-nothing thinking: Seeing things in black and white, and ignoring shades of gray. For example, thinking "I'm a complete failure" when one thing goes wrong.

Catastrophizing: Blowing things out of proportion and imagining the worst-case scenario. For example, thinking "If I fail this test, my life is over."

Personalization: Assuming that everything is about oneself, and taking things personally. For example, thinking "My boss gave me negative feedback, so I must be a terrible employee."

Overgeneralization: Drawing sweeping conclusions based on one or two incidents. For example, thinking "I made a mistake once, so I'm always going to be a failure."

Emotional reasoning: Believing that one's emotions reflect reality, and letting emotions guide thoughts and behaviors.

For example, thinking "I feel anxious, so there must be something to be afraid of."

Mind reading: Assuming that one knows what others are thinking or feeling, without evidence or confirmation. For example, thinking "My friend didn't call me back, so she must be mad at me."

It's important to recognize thinking errors and challenge them with more rational, balanced thinking. This can improve mood, reduce anxiety, and lead to better decision-making.

Here's an example of a coaching conversation for addressing a thinking error:

Coach: Can you describe the situation that led to the negative thought you mentioned earlier?

Client: Sure, I was working on a project and I received some feedback from my manager that was less positive than I was hoping for. I immediately thought, "I'm not good enough. I'll never be able to succeed in this job."

Coach: Thank you for sharing that. Can you identify any thinking errors in that thought?

Client: I think it might be black-and-white thinking. I'm assuming that one piece of feedback means that I'm not good enough for the entire job, which isn't necessarily true.

Coach: That's a great observation. How else might you interpret the feedback you received?

Client: I could see it as an opportunity to learn and improve, rather than a personal failure.

Coach: Excellent! Now that you've identified the thinking error and a more balanced perspective, what steps can you take to challenge the negative thought and replace it with a more realistic one?

Client: I could write down the feedback I received and think about it objectively, instead of immediately jumping to the conclusion that I'm not good enough. I could also remind myself that one piece of feedback doesn't define my entire performance in the job.

Coach: Those are great strategies. How can you practice this new way of thinking in the future?

Client: I can make a conscious effort to catch myself when I'm engaging in black-and-white thinking and challenge it with more realistic thoughts. I can also talk to my manager to get more specific feedback and work on improving in those areas.

Coach: Excellent, it sounds like you have a plan in place. Let's check in at our next session and see how these strategies are working for you.

Overcoming thinking errors or cognitive distortions can be challenging, but it is possible with some effort and practice.

Here are some steps you can take to overcome thinking errors:

Recognize the thinking error: The first step in overcoming a thinking error is to become aware of it. Pay attention to your thoughts and notice when you are engaging in a cognitive distortion.

Challenge the thought: Once you recognize a thinking error, challenge it with rational and balanced thinking. Ask yourself questions such as "Is this thought accurate?", "What evidence supports or contradicts this thought?", or "What would someone else say about this situation?".

Reframe the thought: Once you have challenged the thought, reframe it in a more balanced and realistic way. Look for alternative perspectives and consider the situation from a different angle.

Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and avoid harsh self-criticism. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws, and that you are not defined by your thoughts or behaviors.

Seek support: If you are struggling to overcome thinking errors on your own, consider seeking support from a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend or family member. They can provide a safe and supportive space for you to work through your thoughts and feelings.

Overcoming thinking errors takes time and practice.

Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.

With persistence and effort, we can develop more balanced and positive thinking patterns that support our mental health and well-being.

Another story to share.....

Alice was a coach who was working with a client named Mark.

Mark was feeling overwhelmed and stressed at work, and had been struggling to keep up with his responsibilities.

Alice began the coaching session by asking Mark about his current challenges and what he wanted to work on.

Mark began to describe his workload and how he was struggling to meet his deadlines.

He said, "I just can't keep up. I'm never going to get everything done on time."

Alice noticed that Mark seemed to be engaging in a thinking error, specifically the cognitive distortion of catastrophizing.

She asked him, "What evidence do you have that you're never going to get everything done on time?".

Mark paused for a moment and realized that he didn't have any evidence to support his thought.

Alice helped Mark to challenge his thinking error by asking him to consider alternative perspectives.

She asked him, "What would someone else say about this situation?".

Mark thought for a moment and realized that a colleague had recently complimented him on his efficiency and time management skills.

Alice then helped Mark to reframe his thought in a more balanced and realistic way.

She said, "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed right now, but that doesn't mean you're never going to get everything done on time. Let's focus on some strategies that can help you manage your workload more effectively.".

By helping Mark to recognize and challenge his thinking error, Alice was able to support him in shifting his perspective and developing a more positive and balanced mindset.

This allowed Mark to approach his challenges at work with more clarity and confidence, and ultimately led to greater success and fulfillment in his career.

Identifying and challenging thinking errors takes practice but with time and effort, we can develop a more positive and balanced mindset.