Think You Make a Great No. 2? Why Women Underestimate Their Leadership Abilities

One of the comments that I've heard repeatedly in my discussions with CEOX women is that they don’t receive great feedback from their leaders. In performance reviews, they’re told that they’re doing everything right and there are no issues. Only later when they’re passed up for promotions and push for reasons why are they offered information that could have been helpful. 

It’s frustrating, to say the least, but it’s also endemic to the corporate experience. One study released this year shows that despite the increasing numbers of women in managerial positions, women are still slow to gain leadership positions. The crux of the issue, according to the researchers, is the disparate feedback that women receive along the way. 

“Our research shows that even if it is ostensibly positive, feedback provided to women tends to be less actionable and less useful for leadership progression than feedback given to men, making it less likely that women will advance to more senior positions,” the researcher wrote in the Harvard Business Review. 

The feedback for women leaders differed in four critical ways: 

1. Men were encouraged to set the vision, while women were encouraged to focus on delivery, setting the stage for women to think of themselves as good COOs, but not CEO material.  
2. Men were encouraged to leverage politics, while women were advised to cope with politics. Dealing with company politics and how to navigate a specific company’s politics is critical to success. If women aren’t guided and need to figure out the climate for themselves, they now have one more barrier getting in the way of their success.
3. Men were advised to claim their space, while women were told to prioritize getting along. This is a classic double-standard and bias that women continually face.
4. Men were told to show more confidence, while women were advised to be more confident. This first is actionable, the other speaks to a potential flaw with no guidance about how to improve.

Lack of actionable advice delays women leader’s ascent to CEO roles

All this advice sets the stage for men to become CEOs and provides them the actions they need to take to get there. Women, meanwhile, slip into supporting roles, executing on the vision—but rarely tasked with setting it. (Let me tell you, having vision is the easy part. I hear people talking about ideas all day long—bringing them to life is the challenge). 

The natural consequence of this lackluster feedback? Women tend to think of themselves as permanent no. 2s. As I was reading the HBR article, I had the horrifying realization that indeed that’s how I’ve long thought of myself; I always thought of myself as a great second in command instead of the one who should be in charge, until I flipped the script and started my own company. 

As we recruit women for roles via CEOX, I hear all the time “I would make a great COO because I get sh*t done and I’m reliable” or “I see what needs to get done and I make sure it happens.” I find myself asking, why do you think of yourself as COO and why not CEO? Frankly, I should have asked myself the same thing long ago.

Actionable advice matters

This lack of actionable advice is a problem because it creates yet another hurdle for women aiming for the top—they need to know where and how to improve. It’s also creating a vicious cycle that’s basically a feedback loop with no feedback. The lack of actionable feedback leaves women without the knowledge they need to elevate their careers. They get passed up for top jobs and continue to (wrongly) assume that their skill sets are better suited for seconds-in-command. If that is what they hear, that’s what they shoot for and that’s where they land. 

Changing the culture requires a recognition of this feedback gap and a push for all leaders to recognize the potential in women and push them to go even higher. Then when that little voice suggests that no. 2 is good enough, we can confidently say no thanks, we’re aiming for no. 1.