Think twice before being "out" at work

Most companies these days are encouraging employees to 'be who you are.' This message is particularly aimed at the LGBGTQIA+ population. Well-intentioned companies have anti-discrimination policies that are well circulated to all employees that the "company does not discriminate based on sex, age, race, sexual orientation...." I do not doubt that such policies are well-intended and sincere.

I often ask other professionals, "When was the last time someone at your company was fired for discrimination?" The answer is always "Never."

We all know that racism, sexism, homophobia, etc., are alive and well in our society. We aren't foolish enough to think that it eludes all of our colleagues and peers, are we? In fact, I've had peers whisper in my ear, "You won't believe what so-and-so said about gay people today. She talked about it being against her religion." Trust me, it exists.

Don't get me wrong. People should not be fired because they think my lifestyle is a sin. However, I don't want them negatively impacting my career, but corporate America has no way to stop them from sabotaging me.

What happens when that homophobic person is in a session about employee performance, and my name comes up, and they speak out against my promotion or high rating? Of course, nobody will say, "I am speaking out against him because he is gay." That would never get past HR. So, they frame it in terms of our performance.

For example, let's say you volunteered to work with a vendor to create a training class for your organization. Everyone who takes the class will have an opinion of its usefulness, and it is impossible to please everyone. So, that is an opportune time for people who don't approve of your lifestyle (or race, age, sex, etc.) to pounce and be critical. "I don't think s/he did a good job with the content of that class. I didn't find it worthwhile. I don't think s/he was effective" Nobody in the room has reason to question the motivation of the person speaking out against you. Therefore, the critic meets their objective of denying you a promotion or high rating because of their homophobia/racism/misogyny/transphobia, and nobody has any idea of their motivation.

We wonder why there is such a void of Blacks, Latinos, gays, women, etc., in the higher ranks and corporate America in general. I suggest that it isn't an issue of our competency but of other people's easy ability to block our advancement without recourse. You see, we would need others like ourselves to be in that room to be skeptical enough to question the nitpicking. But nobody like us is in the room, so the behavior persists unchallenged.

Think I am exaggerating?

We've got at least one Supreme Court Justice openly speculating about overturning the rights of gay people to marry. We've got a governor banning books that reference America's slavery past. Cross-dressers and trans people are being harassed on the streets, and their events are being threatened with violence. The percentage of people who hate us is quite large, and they live and work among us. They are reading this post right now. Don't be naive.

And corporate America cannot and will not stop them from adversely impacting our careers. Think about that before you're asked to post your picture and/or story on the corporate internet/internet site or the company's LinkedIn marketing materials. You could well be putting a bullseye on your back.

Don't be blinded by all the employees who tell you how proud they are of you for being "out and proud." Those who say nothing may well be your new enemies.

I'm not telling you not to be out at work. I am suggesting that you do so with open eyes and not fool yourself into thinking everyone is supportive. They aren't.