Think Solitude Is Good for You? Think Again!

I interviewed six women to understand their perspective on solitude and whether they liked or disliked spending time alone. Their experiences reveal a wide range of emotions, from initial discomfort to deep appreciation, as they navigate the complexities of being alone.

Are you someone who feels lonely being on your own?

How boring! Why would you want to do that?

Does something inside you feel the need to spend time with others? Is this because of peer pressure or other people’s expectations, a fear of spending time alone, or just that you’ve never given it a go?

You often hear about the joys of solitude. The peace, the space to think, the chance to reconnect with yourself. But what if too much alone time isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?

Going for a walk, booking a solo holiday abroad, sitting at a table for one in a café, reading a book, writing in a journal, being creative, or simply savouring a favourite cuppa while people-watching are activities that can nurture an acceptance of solitude.

Is solitude always beneficial? Or can it sometimes lead to isolation, overthinking, and an unhealthy detachment from social bonds?

I love spending time alone. This space and time is a precious gift. Solitude is peaceful, calming and restorative. It quiets the noise, refreshes my mind, inspires and ignites curiosity, and gives me a dose of dopamine.

Taking a solo walk and immersing myself in nature is a favourite pastime, helping to open my mind and senses, and deeply connect with the natural world. An absolute delight and place of wonder.

I’m never lonely, being alone.

Yet, I also enjoy and thrive on connection with others. It is a human need that gifts belonging, conversation, meaning, and community.

Setting boundaries to blend solitude and connection matters.

Embracing Quality Alone Time

Embracing solitude is about more than just physical separation from others. It’s about creating a space for self-reflection, creativity, and emotional growth. Today’s on-demand world can be noisy and energy-zapping, from social media, family and work demands, or personal relationships.

Taking time alone allows you to pause, process thoughts, and reconnect with your inner self.

One interviewee shared, “For five years I have embraced meditation and found art again. I walk, run, swim, snowboard and read alone. I’m happy in my own company these days. Being alone clears my head and organises my thoughts.”

Another commented, “As an introverted and shy child, I have always embraced solitude. It was my moment (and my absolute necessity) to recharge. These days, I find travelling time in a car on the way home from work is a wonderful time to transition my brain from work mode to home mode.”

For those who embrace solitude, it is not about loneliness but being content in your space. What if you let go of fearing solitude? Could this allow you to accept solitude as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth? Accepting time alone encourages self-reliance, resilience, and a deeper understanding of your needs and desires.

The ‘Aha’ Moment

For some, solitude is a gradual discovery, for others, a significant life event or ‘Aha’ moment sparks the need/want for alone time. Moments of transition, whether a personal loss, a career change, aging or simply, choice, can help you appreciate solitude in a new way.

One person reflected, “We had some serious health problems in our household, and I began to find ways to slow down, support myself and take better care of my mental wellbeing. That’s when I discovered the power of solitude.”

Another commented, “Turning 50 was an ‘aha’ moment that spurred me to spend more quality time alone. My kids are almost grown, and I have more time for myself.”

Periods of change such as relationship breakups, job changes, health issues, or personal struggles, often bring solitude into focus.

One person shared, “Being single for a few years in my early 30’s was awful! Those long Sundays of nothingness! But during that period, I began practising yoga and swimming, not only for fitness but to fill my lonely hours. Over time, these activities slowed me down and helped me see solitude as productive and valuable rather than something to endure.”

These moments of realisation highlight that solitude is not just about escaping from the world, it is about creating a personal space where you can listen to your thoughts and embrace life on your terms.

How Solitude Changes Your Perception

Spending time alone is transformative, helping you shift how you view yourself and the world. When you remove distractions and external influences, you can see things more clearly, including your desires, fears, and motivations. Time spent in solitude allows deep introspection, helping you gain insight into your behaviours, emotions, and relationships.

One person reflected, “I use affirmations to reset my mind and talk to myself better. I use my time outside to be quiet and appreciate nature. I paint. All these things help me to concentrate on the small, beautiful things in life, in the quiet.”

Another, shared, “You can almost zoom out of your existence and observe yourself. It’s helped me realise my faults and work on them. At the same time, it’s made me very conscious of how the world works, the systems that don’t facilitate equality or justice. I can see things very clearly for what they are.”

Many find that solitude makes them more present and attuned to the world around them. “Spending time alone amplifies the sounds of nature and allows me to take notice. It has made me more comfortable in my skin, encouraging me to be my own best friend.”

The Most Surprising Discoveries About Solitude

Beyond self-awareness, solitude often leads to unexpected personal discoveries. Many people enjoy their own company far more than they initially thought. Others realise they no longer crave the constant validation or presence of others to feel fulfilled.

One participant shared, “My strength and power. I now speak to myself with kindness, I’m building confidence where it was lacking, especially in leadership.”

Others commented, “The most surprising thing is that I’m not lonely on my own” and “I am no longer concerned with missing out or feeling the need to ‘do something.’ The more I slow down, the more I enjoy and crave it.”

Blending Solitude and Social Connection

The key to creating a fulfilling life is a blend of solitude with meaningful social connections. While time alone can be deeply enriching, human relationships remain essential for emotional well-being. Solitude allows you to bring your best self into your relationships and work, strengthening your awareness and ability to connect with others on a deeper level.

One interviewee explained, “It is wonderful to be around close friends; it is cathartic, but I now have firm boundaries. I need that space between work and socialising to keep my head above water.”

Another commented, “I can’t do either indefinitely, but having solitude makes me appreciate a chat with a friend more. Conversely, I need some solitude after a social night to decompress!”

Solitude is not about isolation but about intentional time with yourself. Whether through mindful walks, creative pursuits, or quiet moments of reflection, learning to be ok being alone can be a great gift to you.

Is solitude good for you, or something you’ve learned to justify?

Do you struggle with F.O.M.O (Fear of Missing Out) by spending too much time in your company? Does the answer lie in J.O.M.O (Joy of Missing Out) and finding the right blend between solitude and connection?

What does solitude mean to you? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Your experiences and perspectives are invaluable. Let’s keep the conversation going.

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