“Think, Ink, and Be.”

I had to miss my last week’s posting because of a sad thing that happened to me.

I lost a person most dear to me, a person to whom I owe a lot in my life.

It is Ms. Pramila Nanda, my mentor, my first boss my friend, philosopher, guide passed away to the heavenly abode. The way I grew and how my career got shaped is a lot because of the way in which she influenced the formative stages of my career. This is one of the learning’s from her, which I dedicate it in her honor, praying the her soul may rest in peace. I thank you for your guidance, you loving friendship and your genuine sincerity. There will never be another one like you Ms. Pramila Nanda. Well done, good and faithful servant of the Almighty, well done.       

“Think, Ink, and Be.”

Most of us have experienced events which we have called, when they were happening, the worst moments of our lives, only to find as time went by, that which occurred was one of the best things that ever happened to us. These events, occurrences, changes can make us feel absolutely challenged, if not devastating. We may even ask “Why me?” and “How could this happen?” and feel that “this is a nightmare, this is not real” when it seems like our world has flipped upside down. 

We are just human beings, normal people living on the planet. We’ve only got one shot at this thing called life. The very thing that is always constant in our lives, is changes.  And yet, all too many of us tend to think otherwise and give it away to living other people’s expectations.

All too often, we as young people spend the first two decades of our lives absorbing the world’s expectations from us – figuring out what colleagues, friends, parents, and communities think we should be doing. We begin to internalize those dreams, those visions, those goals. And then, they spend the next several decades trying to fulfill others’ expectations of what their lives should be like.

And then, sometime on the approach to middle age, we become surprised that we have not yet begun to live our own, authentic life. That we’ve done what was expected of us, but feel lost, unclear if it was ever anything we actually wanted.

This inevitable conflict, that leads to wondrous personal development growth on the one hand, and to failed careers, relationships and material thinks like, house, car etc., on the other.

We can be avoid this seeping into the future, if we can help the generation that’s following us, especially our children and ourselves one critical life skill: to set our own expectations for ourselves.

The thing is, we think we are living our own expectations, because we’ve internalized others’ expectations as our own. A particular path in school or work, marriage with 1 or 2 children, living in a certain place — when we’re lucky, we find pure joy and fulfillment in the life set out for us. But all too often, our own expectations get peppered into our lives in bits and pieces, rarely forming a cohesive guide for living.

So how can you begin to live your own expectations, to create fulfilling lives of our own direction? It starts by recognizing that we are at empowered to choose for ourselves!

It’s a delicious moment of revelation when we realize that our choices come more from our perspectives than anything else. In fact, our perspectives establish the options we see and explore. How we view any situation shapes the outcomes that are possible.

So this message is simple, really, the secret to a happy life: Let’s set our own expectations for our life, based on our values, our perspective and our priorities. Let’s think about what matters to us, deeply, and without judgment of ourselves or others. Allow our actions to reflect our lead values, and let’s choose wisely. Allow ourselves to see the world as we wish it to be, and allow our choices to create outcomes of joy and meaning.

Even in the midst of all the chaos, of trials and tribulations, unrest, vulnerabilities, there’s joy to be found in the simplest appreciations of life’s wonder, and pure gratitude for the gifts and privileges that grace our worlds. To be free, to be at choice … to live the life we want, in accordance with your values and in concert with your own vision … THAT is truly inspirational.

We’ve got one life – let’s make it count. The choice is ours.